I am a snake oil sales man

After the doctor told us Trevor was not a match, my mind stopped remembering the statistics and articles Tom and I have been reading. We have to keep believing. We have to have faith. We must live in the moment. Don't think too hard about the future. don't think about the future at all. Well, maybe when it comes to school. We want to feel like there is a future. Positive thoughts.



I sent Tom off to play golf. He always functions better and is in a better mood after golf, refreshed and comfortable again. I love it when he plays. I miss our old club where he used to play all the time. He was much more relaxed and we played more together, not golf but just as a couple doing couples things. With this much stress, he definately needs to go golf . Besides I get to give my full attention to Riley and monopolize him. I don't have to share if I don't want to.



Trevor is going with his oldest and dearest friend for the weekend. He is excited. I was so distracted this morning I forgot to give him a kiss in the parking lot at school, I almost went back , but the bell had rung. He still accepts Kisses from me in public. Riley wont let me kiss him in public anymore.



Now I am off to the hospital. The doctor was great yesterday. Personable, clear, he made eye contact and answered our questions honestly. He looked like a scholar. He wasn't tall , but not short either. He had glasses on. His clothes were starched and pressed, very spiffy. We all looked like we had slept in our cloths, which we had.

He did say that umbilical cord stem cells are more forgiving when used. He said he would never use a 4 out of 6 matched protiens donor, but he would consider that using umbilical cord stem cells. With that said, he then said that we were not doing donors at this time and would not discuss that topic further. He moved on to the medicines and expectations of Riley's treatment. He was very efficient and concise. He talked to us for at least an hour. He also said he sees 1 to 3 cases like this a year. It is more of 1 in every one thousand have this disease. He is writing a paper on the subject and response to this treatement. But the subject pool is still pretty small, making Riley a very interesting case to add.


I was pleased when he said we were a record diagnosis to treatement. He said one reason was the fast response from the insurance company. That was thanks to Tom being who he is, knowing who to call to facilitate approvals. We knew right away what it probably was, so had not delayed or waited for the doctor to ask us to bring Trevor in. There was no delay on getting Trevor's test done. Once that was off the table, the choice protocol is to move directly to drugs.

So now I tell my boy these drugs that will make you feel aweful and sick will help cure you. I tell my husband, Riley is strong and we must be strong also, we can't fall apart, or dwell. I tell Trevor we will get through this, that I love him and I know I can count on him helping even if he didn't match his brother as a donor. I make everyone comfortable and happy for the moment. We live in the moment. I feel like a snake oil salesman of old, hawking a product that cures everything, a used car salesman. I just hope its not a lemon I'm selling.