My Step mom invited me to join her for a family dinner, family in the extended modern way of family these days. Though this family connection happened well over 50 years ago. I was Telling Riles about these family members he had not met and didn't know existed, somehow related all the same. It went something like this in our family tree.
My Grand mother was widowed when my dad was an infant. She married another widower with three children, 12 years later, making my dad part of an instant large family. Dad had Jim, Bill, and Sally as siblings. Dinner was with members of that branch of the family tree.
Cousin Angie who is close to us in age, got married this summer. I hadn't met the new beau, who I hear is wonderful. I missed the wedding but my sister T went. Angie's adult daughter and her new husband were at the dinner. Angie is the daughter of Uncle Jim.
Uncle Bill came to dinner. along with Tom H, who was the brother of my Aunt Sally's first husband. I explain the relationships to Riley. Aunt Sally's husband, also a Jim, died, but his brother Tom is really fun and runs in the art circles and comes to many of my step mom's art shows.
We went to Margaret's favorite restaurant. She has food issues and this restaurant understands her needs and brings her the dish she likes just the way she likes it. The food was delightful and the company was even more fun. I felt like I was at a great tennis match as my head turned from conversation to conversation, trying not to miss a word from anyone. I rarely get to see any of these people so it was special to have them all here in one place.
Not one person at the table is really related to me by blood, yet they are the cousins and Uncles I grew up with. Even margaret is not blood, but she is my family and dearly loved. They remember my dad and were his family and loved him. If anything, that family love and rememberance is enough to make them family to me.
I am sorry that my boys have no clue who these cousins and great uncles are. They are distant past, connected only by a marriage that occured over 50 years ago.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Goodbye Dad
Everyone deals with pain and loss differently. I post about what happened last week to relieve my pain. My mom reads my posts and she is grieving. She doesn't want to be disturbed or bothered by anyone while she rattles around in a big empty house living with ghosts. So please respect her wishes of no calls. She has discovered e mail as I did, as a controlled outlet of emotion. The friends that give you distant hugs across vast space.
I post how Dad fasted Sunday night for a liver biopsy procedure on Monday a week ago. I grieve in my posts, spilling out my thoughts so I can let them go and have my friends and family console me in my pain . I showed up before the procedure started. I hadn't been invited, but I had seen my dad the Friday before and I also knew hospital time only too well. Mom might need a runner to do small errands or someone to just sit with her while we waited. I had been afraid that if they put him under for the procedure he might not wake up again. I wanted someone there with Mom. I was free and available. Mom had said she would be fine that she could handle it but this was different. She would not be fine.
Dad's arm was bothering him tremendously. He had been in pain for two months while the doctors tried to figure out what was wrong with his arm. Was it tendinitis or over exertions, in the end they decided it was nerve damage, symptomatic of the cancer. He was wheeled into the procedure room where he told the doctors he would not let them cut until the pain was gone from his arm. He did not want to hurt in two places. The doctors could not prescribe pain meds for his arm as they were not that kind of doctor. The procedure was canceled and arrangements were made to admit Dad into the ER for pain control.
We spent hours in the ER. Mom and Dad had arrived at the Hospital before 11:00am to prep for the 1:00pm surgery. He hadn't eaten or drunk anything since the night before. At 2:00 we were in the ER. When booking procedure rooms, schedules are adhered to. In the ER we waited in a small corner room hoping to get admitted to the hospital.
ERs are interesting places. There was a police guard on one of the rooms nearby. You could smell alcohol and hear someone yelling. Mom asked about the other room but of course the nurse just smiled and didn't say anything.
Our wish was that dad be admitted for pain management and while in the hospital all the tests that the doctor's wanted to do could be accomplished. It had been incredibly hard and exhausting for him to go back and forth from the house to make appointments. He hadn't been eating anything in a couple of weeks other than small meals of a few bites of crackers with some soft cheese or egg salad. T would bring broth that seemed to stay down easily, but he would only take a few sips. Bland food always, as his stomach was being pressed into half it's natural size by a huge tumor on his liver. The x ray at the beginning of the month had been a death knell.
Anything put into Dad's stomach had good odds of coming back up. In a month, since a vomiting episode, while at the beach, had landed him in the ER at the coast, Dad had lost 20 pounds. They sent him home with antacid and told him he should see his doctor when he got home. He didn't call his doctor. Instead he needed another ER visit the next weekend to the ER close to home for vomiting, again. We all came to see him. This ER took x rays showing the masses. They sent his records to his doctor and an appointment was scheduled for early that next week. The discharge nurse said she was putting urgent on his chart. The "C" word was mentioned, but tests were needed to confirm. Blood was drawn.
They did go to see the Doctor that week. The news was grim. Liver cancer, well established and spreading. A biopsy was needed to confirm what type of drugs would work most effectively. The biopsy was scheduled for another week out. Dad was fading before our eyes but that was the soonest they could get him in. I think the end result would have been the same regardless. Perhaps they were putting it off in hopes he died before they had to work with him.
His arm pain was growing and spreading to the shoulder. By the time the date of the biopsy Dad was an 8 out of 10 on the pain chart, he told the nurse. They were doling out pain meds like it was candy to a baby. We were all frustrated with the lack of pain control. Though when they did prescribe, Dad wasn't good about adhering to the schedule of dosages. He didn't like feeling groggy and fuzzy. As a result the pain and vomiting was not kept in control. He didn't like taking the pills all the time but had he, he might have been more comfortable, but it was already too late to change the outcome in the end. They found his white cell count elevated while in the ER, using the unidentified infection as the excuse to admit him..
He got his MRI on his arm and the biopsy, on Tuesday. I and my brother, got the privilege of walking Hoover the dog, so mom could spend more time at the hospital and not miss anything. Strangely the biopsy was inconclusive. They wanted to do it again. Dad was done with the hospital and wanted to go home. They had to keep him one extra day as he set off the heart monitor, after the biopsy procedure, when he tried to get up out of bed. We checked him out on Thursday.
Mom had an old wheel chair in the garage we used to get Dad to the front door from the driveway. My brother physically carried most of Dad's weight as they slowly climbed the stairs to his bedroom. I walked behind just in case. It was a scary process. Mom and I would not have been able to get him upstairs ourselves, he was that weak. He slept from exhaustion and residual IV pain killers they gave him in the hospital before we took him home. They also gave him a 12 hour pain killer. It had taken all day to get discharged on Thursday. It was 5:00 pm when we finally pulled in the driveway.
Mom had hand written prescriptions to take and fill at the pharmacy. I went with her. It took two hours to fill the prescriptions as a resident had signed the scripts and a real Doctor needed to approve them. These were some heavy drugs they wanted dad to take for the pain, in high concentrations. The insurance company baulked without the proper authorization. When I asked if we could just purchase the drugs ourselves, the bill was for several hundred dollars. Mom opted to wait while the pharmacist tried to track down a doctor for authorization and get insurance to approve payment. This all was to be free on medicare, if we worked with the system, so we waited on the system. Two hours later we were handed the drugs to take home. We were exhausted and it was late. Mom was going into a marathon already tired.
G slept in the room next to Dad. I slept on the couch in the living room. The bathroom upstairs was set up for dad with a special toilet seat. All his things were just the way he liked them. I didn't want to disturb anyone if I got up in the night. with so many people in the house it is easy to wake everyone from well needed sleep, especially with the creaky floor boards of the upstairs hallway. I could use the powder room downstairs without disturbing anything or anyone. In the morning I showered in Mom's bathroom after everyone was awake. G was waiting for the hospis people then he needed to head home. He would come back in a couple of days.
The Hospis people came Friday morning at 10:00 am to introduce themselves. Having done this before, I knew most of the work would fall to Mom and who ever was helping her. I had brought a suitcase and clothes for a weekend just in case, when I came down the day before. Hospis provides you with everything you need but they do not provide the people to help 24/7. The getting up with the patient and giving the meds when prescribed all falls on the family support. One pain med was to be given every hour. It is grueling as the patient needs more attention before the end.
The body purges itself and this purging takes time. Dad was up every half hour vomiting or going to the bathroom that Friday night. Mom wanted to be up when he was, so the staggering of the schedule didn't work as she wouldn't sleep through , though you really couldn't, as you could hear Dad in the bathroom being violently ill. We stood outside the door waiting for him to be done and escort his shaking body back to bed. At some point he was so exhausted he was willing just to vomit into a bowl while sitting on the side of the bed. I had asked for a bed side commode to be deliver but the service hadn't gotten to us before 9:00pm so we told them we were going to bed and deliver it in the morning. Dad could have used that commode that first night. The bathroom toilet was a long walk at 30 feet away. Even with a walker to help, every time he got up we were there to balance him.
Mom put in several calls to Hospis asking for help as the night ground on. Dad's pain was back. He didn't like the meds they sent. Anything he took orally was being vomited up, in a dark black bile, as his body purged. She tried a suppository, which we thought worked for about an hour. Somewhere around 5:00am, Mom and Dad had the talk about going to the Hospis facility. She called and arranged a pick up for 7:30 am. A transport ambulance arrived right on schedule with two very nice EMTs. They put Dad in a special chair to get him downstairs where they switched him over to a gurney for transportation in the van. Mom would have collapsed if she had kept going the way she was.
We were warned that Hospis would drug him into an induced coma, but Dad was lucid and as a result they only made him comfortable with regular shots of pain killers, per his request, which made him marginally comfortable. My man says he wants to be awake and aware at the time of his death. He thinks Dad was of a similar bent. Dad didn't want to be drugged into oblivion, he just wanted the pain under control.
The Hospic facility checked him in and made him as comfortable as possible. By this time there was no more getting out of bed to use the bathroom. Dad was fading fast. It was Saturday morning. I wonder if that commode had arrived on time if we could have lasted one more day at home, but it was hopeless the way that house was set up. The bathroom seemed miles away every time Dad got up. There are steps everywhere. Mom couldn't stand seeing Dad in pain and couldn't sleep when he was awake or up. She also seemed to be the only one who knew how to make him as comfortable as possible with the ice packs and the covers on the bed, and the pillows just so. It was painful to watch. She was melting with exhaustion caring for Dad 24/7 with no reprieve.
My niece was having a big birthday weekend with a dozen friends over for a sleep over. I stopped over to see them after leaving hospis with dad checked in. I also called my brother and told him he should come back now, earlier than planned.
I needed to give my mom some space from me and give her personal time with dad alone. Give her an empty house for a while. I watched my nephew so my sister T could run over and see Dad. I also made arrangements to stay in town one more night but give mom space. Mom called later though and told me the house was big and empty. I came back and spent the night at her house. Getting up early to go back and visit Dad first thing Sunday morning.
We knew the time would not be long. The Hospis nurse on Friday had warned us. She said he was well hydrated from the hospital IV's. His body had to purge all that moisture. It would be 3 to 5 days.
Dad was strong. It would take time. I headed home on Sunday to see my family, thinking I would go back on Monday.
Monday morning Mom left me a message on my phone that Dad had passed away at 10:34 am. She had been with him. The nurse had told her it would be soon, probably that afternoon, as she was leaving after her morning visit. She turned around and went back in to Dad's room telling him she would sit with him a little longer. He took a breath and was gone.
The rains started this weekend. I felt it was God crying over Dad's pain. Dad wanted it over and done with. "This is bull shit" he whispered as he got sicker and sicker Friday night and the wee hours of the morning on Saturday. His throat was so torn and hurting from the vomiting he could barely whisper. Sunday he told me in a whisper "I want it over with".
" I know Dad, but it is out of my hands." I said. I asked the staff about Death with dignity but he was passed that window. That takes two doctors, three days, and a battery of questions Dad couldn't speak to answer, then drinking a cup full of some concoction, when he can't even swallow his own meds anymore. The rule is he would have to administer the drugs himself off site.
Monday morning he got his wish and Mom was with him. Now, if only mom can find peace after losing the man she has lived with for the last 44 years. That is going to be another long trial. Right now she wants to be left alone in her grief. She will come out of hiding, but it will take time. She has seen enough of me to last her a while. Death is a messy business.
I post how Dad fasted Sunday night for a liver biopsy procedure on Monday a week ago. I grieve in my posts, spilling out my thoughts so I can let them go and have my friends and family console me in my pain . I showed up before the procedure started. I hadn't been invited, but I had seen my dad the Friday before and I also knew hospital time only too well. Mom might need a runner to do small errands or someone to just sit with her while we waited. I had been afraid that if they put him under for the procedure he might not wake up again. I wanted someone there with Mom. I was free and available. Mom had said she would be fine that she could handle it but this was different. She would not be fine.
Dad's arm was bothering him tremendously. He had been in pain for two months while the doctors tried to figure out what was wrong with his arm. Was it tendinitis or over exertions, in the end they decided it was nerve damage, symptomatic of the cancer. He was wheeled into the procedure room where he told the doctors he would not let them cut until the pain was gone from his arm. He did not want to hurt in two places. The doctors could not prescribe pain meds for his arm as they were not that kind of doctor. The procedure was canceled and arrangements were made to admit Dad into the ER for pain control.
We spent hours in the ER. Mom and Dad had arrived at the Hospital before 11:00am to prep for the 1:00pm surgery. He hadn't eaten or drunk anything since the night before. At 2:00 we were in the ER. When booking procedure rooms, schedules are adhered to. In the ER we waited in a small corner room hoping to get admitted to the hospital.
ERs are interesting places. There was a police guard on one of the rooms nearby. You could smell alcohol and hear someone yelling. Mom asked about the other room but of course the nurse just smiled and didn't say anything.
Our wish was that dad be admitted for pain management and while in the hospital all the tests that the doctor's wanted to do could be accomplished. It had been incredibly hard and exhausting for him to go back and forth from the house to make appointments. He hadn't been eating anything in a couple of weeks other than small meals of a few bites of crackers with some soft cheese or egg salad. T would bring broth that seemed to stay down easily, but he would only take a few sips. Bland food always, as his stomach was being pressed into half it's natural size by a huge tumor on his liver. The x ray at the beginning of the month had been a death knell.
Anything put into Dad's stomach had good odds of coming back up. In a month, since a vomiting episode, while at the beach, had landed him in the ER at the coast, Dad had lost 20 pounds. They sent him home with antacid and told him he should see his doctor when he got home. He didn't call his doctor. Instead he needed another ER visit the next weekend to the ER close to home for vomiting, again. We all came to see him. This ER took x rays showing the masses. They sent his records to his doctor and an appointment was scheduled for early that next week. The discharge nurse said she was putting urgent on his chart. The "C" word was mentioned, but tests were needed to confirm. Blood was drawn.
They did go to see the Doctor that week. The news was grim. Liver cancer, well established and spreading. A biopsy was needed to confirm what type of drugs would work most effectively. The biopsy was scheduled for another week out. Dad was fading before our eyes but that was the soonest they could get him in. I think the end result would have been the same regardless. Perhaps they were putting it off in hopes he died before they had to work with him.
His arm pain was growing and spreading to the shoulder. By the time the date of the biopsy Dad was an 8 out of 10 on the pain chart, he told the nurse. They were doling out pain meds like it was candy to a baby. We were all frustrated with the lack of pain control. Though when they did prescribe, Dad wasn't good about adhering to the schedule of dosages. He didn't like feeling groggy and fuzzy. As a result the pain and vomiting was not kept in control. He didn't like taking the pills all the time but had he, he might have been more comfortable, but it was already too late to change the outcome in the end. They found his white cell count elevated while in the ER, using the unidentified infection as the excuse to admit him..
He got his MRI on his arm and the biopsy, on Tuesday. I and my brother, got the privilege of walking Hoover the dog, so mom could spend more time at the hospital and not miss anything. Strangely the biopsy was inconclusive. They wanted to do it again. Dad was done with the hospital and wanted to go home. They had to keep him one extra day as he set off the heart monitor, after the biopsy procedure, when he tried to get up out of bed. We checked him out on Thursday.
Mom had an old wheel chair in the garage we used to get Dad to the front door from the driveway. My brother physically carried most of Dad's weight as they slowly climbed the stairs to his bedroom. I walked behind just in case. It was a scary process. Mom and I would not have been able to get him upstairs ourselves, he was that weak. He slept from exhaustion and residual IV pain killers they gave him in the hospital before we took him home. They also gave him a 12 hour pain killer. It had taken all day to get discharged on Thursday. It was 5:00 pm when we finally pulled in the driveway.
Mom had hand written prescriptions to take and fill at the pharmacy. I went with her. It took two hours to fill the prescriptions as a resident had signed the scripts and a real Doctor needed to approve them. These were some heavy drugs they wanted dad to take for the pain, in high concentrations. The insurance company baulked without the proper authorization. When I asked if we could just purchase the drugs ourselves, the bill was for several hundred dollars. Mom opted to wait while the pharmacist tried to track down a doctor for authorization and get insurance to approve payment. This all was to be free on medicare, if we worked with the system, so we waited on the system. Two hours later we were handed the drugs to take home. We were exhausted and it was late. Mom was going into a marathon already tired.
G slept in the room next to Dad. I slept on the couch in the living room. The bathroom upstairs was set up for dad with a special toilet seat. All his things were just the way he liked them. I didn't want to disturb anyone if I got up in the night. with so many people in the house it is easy to wake everyone from well needed sleep, especially with the creaky floor boards of the upstairs hallway. I could use the powder room downstairs without disturbing anything or anyone. In the morning I showered in Mom's bathroom after everyone was awake. G was waiting for the hospis people then he needed to head home. He would come back in a couple of days.
The Hospis people came Friday morning at 10:00 am to introduce themselves. Having done this before, I knew most of the work would fall to Mom and who ever was helping her. I had brought a suitcase and clothes for a weekend just in case, when I came down the day before. Hospis provides you with everything you need but they do not provide the people to help 24/7. The getting up with the patient and giving the meds when prescribed all falls on the family support. One pain med was to be given every hour. It is grueling as the patient needs more attention before the end.
The body purges itself and this purging takes time. Dad was up every half hour vomiting or going to the bathroom that Friday night. Mom wanted to be up when he was, so the staggering of the schedule didn't work as she wouldn't sleep through , though you really couldn't, as you could hear Dad in the bathroom being violently ill. We stood outside the door waiting for him to be done and escort his shaking body back to bed. At some point he was so exhausted he was willing just to vomit into a bowl while sitting on the side of the bed. I had asked for a bed side commode to be deliver but the service hadn't gotten to us before 9:00pm so we told them we were going to bed and deliver it in the morning. Dad could have used that commode that first night. The bathroom toilet was a long walk at 30 feet away. Even with a walker to help, every time he got up we were there to balance him.
Mom put in several calls to Hospis asking for help as the night ground on. Dad's pain was back. He didn't like the meds they sent. Anything he took orally was being vomited up, in a dark black bile, as his body purged. She tried a suppository, which we thought worked for about an hour. Somewhere around 5:00am, Mom and Dad had the talk about going to the Hospis facility. She called and arranged a pick up for 7:30 am. A transport ambulance arrived right on schedule with two very nice EMTs. They put Dad in a special chair to get him downstairs where they switched him over to a gurney for transportation in the van. Mom would have collapsed if she had kept going the way she was.
We were warned that Hospis would drug him into an induced coma, but Dad was lucid and as a result they only made him comfortable with regular shots of pain killers, per his request, which made him marginally comfortable. My man says he wants to be awake and aware at the time of his death. He thinks Dad was of a similar bent. Dad didn't want to be drugged into oblivion, he just wanted the pain under control.
The Hospic facility checked him in and made him as comfortable as possible. By this time there was no more getting out of bed to use the bathroom. Dad was fading fast. It was Saturday morning. I wonder if that commode had arrived on time if we could have lasted one more day at home, but it was hopeless the way that house was set up. The bathroom seemed miles away every time Dad got up. There are steps everywhere. Mom couldn't stand seeing Dad in pain and couldn't sleep when he was awake or up. She also seemed to be the only one who knew how to make him as comfortable as possible with the ice packs and the covers on the bed, and the pillows just so. It was painful to watch. She was melting with exhaustion caring for Dad 24/7 with no reprieve.
My niece was having a big birthday weekend with a dozen friends over for a sleep over. I stopped over to see them after leaving hospis with dad checked in. I also called my brother and told him he should come back now, earlier than planned.
I needed to give my mom some space from me and give her personal time with dad alone. Give her an empty house for a while. I watched my nephew so my sister T could run over and see Dad. I also made arrangements to stay in town one more night but give mom space. Mom called later though and told me the house was big and empty. I came back and spent the night at her house. Getting up early to go back and visit Dad first thing Sunday morning.
We knew the time would not be long. The Hospis nurse on Friday had warned us. She said he was well hydrated from the hospital IV's. His body had to purge all that moisture. It would be 3 to 5 days.
Dad was strong. It would take time. I headed home on Sunday to see my family, thinking I would go back on Monday.
Monday morning Mom left me a message on my phone that Dad had passed away at 10:34 am. She had been with him. The nurse had told her it would be soon, probably that afternoon, as she was leaving after her morning visit. She turned around and went back in to Dad's room telling him she would sit with him a little longer. He took a breath and was gone.
The rains started this weekend. I felt it was God crying over Dad's pain. Dad wanted it over and done with. "This is bull shit" he whispered as he got sicker and sicker Friday night and the wee hours of the morning on Saturday. His throat was so torn and hurting from the vomiting he could barely whisper. Sunday he told me in a whisper "I want it over with".
" I know Dad, but it is out of my hands." I said. I asked the staff about Death with dignity but he was passed that window. That takes two doctors, three days, and a battery of questions Dad couldn't speak to answer, then drinking a cup full of some concoction, when he can't even swallow his own meds anymore. The rule is he would have to administer the drugs himself off site.
Monday morning he got his wish and Mom was with him. Now, if only mom can find peace after losing the man she has lived with for the last 44 years. That is going to be another long trial. Right now she wants to be left alone in her grief. She will come out of hiding, but it will take time. She has seen enough of me to last her a while. Death is a messy business.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Go Beavs
Tom took us all to Corvallis to the OSU WSU game. He had friends down for a golf and game weekend but took time out to give us a tour of the campus. He would love to have the boys at Corvallis. While we ordered an early lunch at a food stand, he went to buy four tickets for us. He came back with corner end zone seats in the visitors section. When we got there the visitor section didn't matter. Everyone was in Orange. Maybe 1% of the whole stadium were cougars. It was pretty intimidating. Tom said we were lucky to get seats at all as he looked around at the full stadium. Good thing we came early to the campus to do the tour and get the tickets for the game. The stadium was almost fully sold out with a record breaking crowd, over 47,000 all in orange. I had on my requisite orange vest.
I liked our seats. We were in the end corner so the loud sounds wafted away from us over our heads. the sound was manageable with ear plugs, which I brought in the appropriate orange color. I could even hear conversations and talk without screaming. It wasn't quite a dead zone of noise but perfect for me. The view is amazing from the end zone as you can see all the players make their moves, which I appreciated as the Stadium big screen was behind and above us so we had to crane our bodies and necks around to watch the replays.
Of course being at a public event in sports, I seem to be a magnet for the weirdos. The family sitting next to me seemed fine at first. Father, eight year old son, and mother . She even had on a hat that I wanted, a cowboy hat all in orange with rhinestone sequins all over it. Perfect for the game without being a baseball hat. We had spent an hour before the game on the hunt for that perfect hat only to find that it was sold in the student store over three years ago. The mom had even graduated from Southern Oregon, the school I wanted to look at for Riley. She told me it is a hippie party school. I have now heard that from several sources. I am beginning to believe that it might not be the best choice.
We were sitting watching the game when the mom, who initially seemed very nice, about five years younger than me, pretty brunette, drops a nude picture of a man on the ground and points to it, "Look at that! Oh my!". I ignore it so she puts it away. She does it again and I ask her to stop it. A third time she drops the frontal nude photo of the man on the ground. This time I step on the picture and shove it under the seats with my shoe, towards Tom so she can't get it back. What is with people these days? Tom said maybe she was trying to see if we'd be interested in something more exciting. I should take it as a compliment that she found us attractive. She picked the wrong people. I was pleasant and ignored her the rest of the game. Luckily the game was exciting and fun. She was easy to ignore. They left before the game ended.
But what is it with me when I go to these events and the wackos of society have to sit next to me. Last time I went to a Beaver game the man behind me dropped his peanut shells into the hood of my coat, like it was his personal garbage receptacle. Though to give him the benefit of the doubt, he was just flicking them to the ground everywhere and some landed on me, all game long. Then there was the insensitive hick at Charlotte who kept blowing smoke at the cancer children on purpose and flicking cigarette buts at the one Hispanic family on the trip until the family got up and left.
Tom says the club seats he had at the last game were awesome. I hate to sound spoiled but I swear I may only go to another game if we fork over the money for the really good seats and leave the wackos in the cheap seats, not that these seats were cheap, buying them on game day from scalpers Tom payed $30 a ticket above face value of $50 each. Besides there are wackos at every level of society. I just wish they would go sit by someone else.
The game ended 19 to 6. Defense prevented WSU from scoring any significant points. The Beaver defense made a couple of interceptions, but the real scoring didn't happen until the second half. A close game is so much more exciting to watch. Tom was afraid to get up and go to the bathroom until Oregon State was two touchdowns ahead. He was afraid he might miss something.
I liked our seats. We were in the end corner so the loud sounds wafted away from us over our heads. the sound was manageable with ear plugs, which I brought in the appropriate orange color. I could even hear conversations and talk without screaming. It wasn't quite a dead zone of noise but perfect for me. The view is amazing from the end zone as you can see all the players make their moves, which I appreciated as the Stadium big screen was behind and above us so we had to crane our bodies and necks around to watch the replays.
Of course being at a public event in sports, I seem to be a magnet for the weirdos. The family sitting next to me seemed fine at first. Father, eight year old son, and mother . She even had on a hat that I wanted, a cowboy hat all in orange with rhinestone sequins all over it. Perfect for the game without being a baseball hat. We had spent an hour before the game on the hunt for that perfect hat only to find that it was sold in the student store over three years ago. The mom had even graduated from Southern Oregon, the school I wanted to look at for Riley. She told me it is a hippie party school. I have now heard that from several sources. I am beginning to believe that it might not be the best choice.
We were sitting watching the game when the mom, who initially seemed very nice, about five years younger than me, pretty brunette, drops a nude picture of a man on the ground and points to it, "Look at that! Oh my!". I ignore it so she puts it away. She does it again and I ask her to stop it. A third time she drops the frontal nude photo of the man on the ground. This time I step on the picture and shove it under the seats with my shoe, towards Tom so she can't get it back. What is with people these days? Tom said maybe she was trying to see if we'd be interested in something more exciting. I should take it as a compliment that she found us attractive. She picked the wrong people. I was pleasant and ignored her the rest of the game. Luckily the game was exciting and fun. She was easy to ignore. They left before the game ended.
But what is it with me when I go to these events and the wackos of society have to sit next to me. Last time I went to a Beaver game the man behind me dropped his peanut shells into the hood of my coat, like it was his personal garbage receptacle. Though to give him the benefit of the doubt, he was just flicking them to the ground everywhere and some landed on me, all game long. Then there was the insensitive hick at Charlotte who kept blowing smoke at the cancer children on purpose and flicking cigarette buts at the one Hispanic family on the trip until the family got up and left.
Tom says the club seats he had at the last game were awesome. I hate to sound spoiled but I swear I may only go to another game if we fork over the money for the really good seats and leave the wackos in the cheap seats, not that these seats were cheap, buying them on game day from scalpers Tom payed $30 a ticket above face value of $50 each. Besides there are wackos at every level of society. I just wish they would go sit by someone else.
The game ended 19 to 6. Defense prevented WSU from scoring any significant points. The Beaver defense made a couple of interceptions, but the real scoring didn't happen until the second half. A close game is so much more exciting to watch. Tom was afraid to get up and go to the bathroom until Oregon State was two touchdowns ahead. He was afraid he might miss something.
Friday, October 5, 2012
Staining the house
I had power washed the south wall but felt It might need more. Tom hadn't wanted me to touch the south side at all so he wasn't really happy with me. Though it was a project that needed to be done we had both agreed. I didn't want to go any longer without addressing the south wall before winter. Tom wanted to ignore it one more winter. He is thinking of ripping it down and starting over with new siding. I wanted to patch and repaint as needed. It is cedar. Tom re caulked the windows after I spent a day removing the old caulk. When I power washed, water seeped in to the inside so we knew the caulk needed to be redone. I had caulked last winter over the old stuff, which was not sufficient. I needed to rip out everything and start fresh.
I bought caulk filler tubing to push into the larger voids and the paintable waterproof exterior caulk to go on top. Products have improved over the years also, so I expect good results from this new stuff. Tom wanted to put the caulk on just to make sure it had good coverage and looked good. End result will be successful if we stay dry inside this winter.
Tom had decided that the solid stain was going to work to cover the layers of old stain color. The house would be sealed for the winter, no need to completely remove the old stains. I had cheaply bought us time perhaps we could live with the siding forever. I finally realized why I couldn't seem to match the paint chips coming off the house or the colors on the house with any one color of new stain. The house has several different stains on it from over time. I count at least three stain colors. So we go solid stain and cover it all, but try and match the main body of the house since we are only doing the one problem wall.
Tom always complains that I ask his advice and don't take it, when I am doing projects. So this time I set my heart firm and what ever color he wanted I would go with. I did it on the deck color and on the house. The final colors are all his choosing. It is a close match to what we need on the house, but I would have chosen a slightly different color on both the deck and the house had I not had to share opinions. Tom admitted on the deck after we were three quarters done he would have liked the other color also. In ten years we can change it.
Our next discussion was on how to put the stain on the two story building with lots of windows. I wanted to use a brush and rollers. Tom wanted to rent scaffolding and a paint sprayer. Our last house the guy worked from a ladder. Three quarters of this house is easily accessible from below. I priced out the rental equipment as I picked up the paint. $79 for the scaffolding for the week and $91 for the paint sprayer for the day. He might want two days knowing Tom. He might decide to do more once he got started and had the tools in hand. Plus tax we were looking at $300 in equipment just for one wall potentially. I told him we could probably hire someone at that price. He said call around and see.
I called a paint store and asked for names. The first number recommended didn't answer. The second number wasn't available for two weeks. He recommended the first guy. I told him that number didn't answer. The second guy gave me the first guys private cell number. I called and got an answer this time. He could be out in half an hour and was available for a one day job.
He came and looked at the project. He said $600 and he would prime first. Tom and I looked at each other. This was a stain, I didn't want primer. It is supposed to be perfect as is. Besides we just want a stop gap not a huge production. I said Tom could do it himself for $300. The guy said if all we wanted was the stain put on he would do it for $300. It would take about an hour and a half with his crew of two other guys. They would use ladders and roll it on the way I liked. He didn't like sprayers. Tom and I leaped at the price and I leaped at the fact it would be rolled on, not sprayed. Spray is a messy business.
He went away and came back at 3:30 with two more guys. They put up their ladders and their drop cloths. By 5:00 they were done. No mess no bother. $300 cash exchanged hands and Tom and I were in a happy place. The painters were happy with a quick job and $300.
I got to see the end of Trevor's football game. All in an afternoon. Though next time I will probably go with my paint choices after consulting Tom. Now I have to wait ten years before the color needs changing again. My halo is glowing but I don't think Tom sees it. (wink)
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Reunion
Fun Fun Fun. a year ago my old roommate and I talked about attending our 25th. We booked a non refundable hotel with two rooms. Now we could not cancel, even if we wanted too. I wanted to take Riles to see the campus.He is a Junior now and should be looking at his options. I really should have taken him to several schools this summer.
Another friend of ours heard we were going and I told her where we were staying. She booked the same hotel. We had a blast. It was all about reminiscing about the good old days on campus. Seeing the campus and all the changes that have occurred in 25 years.
The drive over went fast. We stopped for a nice dinner along the way. Riles refused to drive. I did most of the driving until my leg got soar after 4 hours.I made good time. In the middle of no where you can go 80 pretty easily without realizing it. At dinner my roommate, who had taken the train to my house so she could ride with us, told me that her son had googled my boys and I need to put nick names on them in my blog or they will never find work. So Tman and Riles it is.
We stopped at a rest area for me to stretch my legs and get someone else to drive the last bit. LL agreed to drive because riles wouldn't. The problem was she couldn't talk and drive without slowing down. All that good time I made was lost. We had trucks passing us on the freeway. She wasn't much better than if Riles had been driving. We finally got to Walla Walla. It was almost 9;00 pm. We had started the trip by picking Riles up after school at 2:30pm. Long drive
Our other friend E was waiting for us. She had arrived hours earlier and been able to attend some of the evening events. She works in the Seattle area but has family in the Walla Walla area, as a result she had been back before.
We went across the street to the local restaurant. They were locking up but agreed to let us in as their last customers. We ordered appetizers and one round of drinks to unwind from the road trip. It was so much fun talking.
The next morning we caught a student led tour of the school. Our guide was wonderful. He got us into our old dorm area, even though we had been instructed that the dorms were off limits for student privacy. Rules were meant to be bent a little. After all we, the alumni, paid for most of the remodeling we were witness too. There had been a lot of remodeling over 25 years.
Riles favorite was Sherwood center with the 110 foot climbing wall, sixty feet tall. designed by the REI architect. At 3:30 it would be open for climbing. Riles was there waiting at 3:30. E took him as LL and I were at a wine tasting room downtown sampling the selection. E didn't drink so she was fine laughing at us and then pretending to be Riles guardian so he could sign in and start watching the safety video for the climbing wall. By the time we walked back to campus with our bottles of wine Riles was just getting his gear on and heading to his first climb.
The first wall he aced in moments. Just a regular vertical assent. The next two climbs got progressively more difficult with the wall tipped out so he had to carry more of his weight on his biceps.. By the time he was done he said his arms were numb and exhausted. He loved it and just glowed with happiness. Honestly he was awesome all day. Hanging with a bunch of parents and not whining or complaining.
We picked up a couple of books at the bookstore in the morning before the tour and anytime he wanted to tune out he would just open "A hitch hiker's guide to the galaxy" and ignore us in a quiet corner or under a tree while we talked and laughed and admired all the changes to the campus.
Though how could you not love one of the most prestigious and perfect and most expensive colleges in the country. Whitman can do no wrong. Nestled in the lovely quaint town of Walla Walla in the middle of Wheat fields and grape groves for as far as the Eagle flies. The whole college population is smaller than a city high school.. It is warm fuzzy and nurturing.
Our student guide tracked down a teacher in the English department who does tea ceremonies. He did an impromptu Japanese tea service lesson for us that was amazing. The calm presentation after all our rushing around, how the bowl seemed to float out there in the air all on its own as he held it in front of himself and walked the tea bowl to us. The professor was the same professor who had just started his career when we were at Whitman. Time had left him virtually unchanged in the slow back waters of the college.
At 1:00 pm, we were to have a group picture taken on the stairs of the administration building. We received our numbers and got in the photo group of about 100 people . I was surprised at how old everyone looked. I asked Riley if LL and I looked that old and he responded with "You are the youngest one's up there by far". What a wonderful son I have. I turned to LL and asked what was with all the small children. LL and I started late having our children I had thought. There were people with babies and small children running around in our class. Some were adoption children you could tell by ethnicity, but the baby surprised me. We are too old for having babies. LL leans over to me and whispers "second marriages". We giggled.
That night there was a banquette for our graduation group at the hotel down town where we had held many a dance function with our sorority, which is now folded and gone from campus. Greek was not heavily pushed on campus, it was more of a social organization you could join, and pretty laid back, but then maybe that is why our house failed. Maybe we were a bit too laid back .We didn't fight heavily for its survival. My friends and I were more GDI (God Damn Independent) at heart, feet on both sides of the fence
Afew of our friends did not attend the reunion as they said they were already in contact with everyone they wanted to see. That may be true. In my facebook I have more college friends than I recognized attending the reunion. I maybe remembered half a dozen of the people there, while the Whitties I like to play and party with are in my face book but not at the reunion. Thank goodness a few old friends did show up as it was a long way to come not to see anyone we knew and wanted to see and hadn't seen in a while.
People came up to say hi to me and I would have to lean over and whisper to E or LL "How do I know this person?" I am so bad with names and faces. Riley made the wise decision of staying at the hotel to read his book rather than attend the banquette. I brought him home a late dinner afterwards. The hotel staff boxed up his dinner for me. $43 for a slice of lasagna. I did think the banquette was a bit pricey. I split a bottle of wine with another couple at the table. The hotel charged me $40 for a bottle of average table wine.
I was not impressed with the wine selections when we did the wine tasting either. For all the hype Walla Walla gets I think we fell into a tourist trap. But it was all in fun. And when on vacation you have to splurge a bit and have fun. We had a blast. My gut hurts from soar muscles from laughing. I have blisters on my feet from walking the campus in pretty impractical sandals. I have a wonderful glow from visiting my fantasy land. the sun shone the weather was perfect, my friends were all having fun with me. A few dear people I never get to see, I got to spend quality time with. Riles was wonderful and polite and easy. I showed him off with pride.
I have set the bench high by showing Riles such a perfect college first. Now he needs to motivate and start applying and see where he ends up. I gave Tom the instructions that he had better take the boys to OSU and give a glamorous tour of his campus if he wants to motivate them in his preferred Alma Marta's direction. I have to admit choosing a school for an incredible climbing wall, even if it is the biggest indoor climbing wall in North America, and designed by a preeminent architect, is not really a good reason to go there. Now I am back to the real world.
Another friend of ours heard we were going and I told her where we were staying. She booked the same hotel. We had a blast. It was all about reminiscing about the good old days on campus. Seeing the campus and all the changes that have occurred in 25 years.
The drive over went fast. We stopped for a nice dinner along the way. Riles refused to drive. I did most of the driving until my leg got soar after 4 hours.I made good time. In the middle of no where you can go 80 pretty easily without realizing it. At dinner my roommate, who had taken the train to my house so she could ride with us, told me that her son had googled my boys and I need to put nick names on them in my blog or they will never find work. So Tman and Riles it is.
We stopped at a rest area for me to stretch my legs and get someone else to drive the last bit. LL agreed to drive because riles wouldn't. The problem was she couldn't talk and drive without slowing down. All that good time I made was lost. We had trucks passing us on the freeway. She wasn't much better than if Riles had been driving. We finally got to Walla Walla. It was almost 9;00 pm. We had started the trip by picking Riles up after school at 2:30pm. Long drive
Our other friend E was waiting for us. She had arrived hours earlier and been able to attend some of the evening events. She works in the Seattle area but has family in the Walla Walla area, as a result she had been back before.
We went across the street to the local restaurant. They were locking up but agreed to let us in as their last customers. We ordered appetizers and one round of drinks to unwind from the road trip. It was so much fun talking.
The next morning we caught a student led tour of the school. Our guide was wonderful. He got us into our old dorm area, even though we had been instructed that the dorms were off limits for student privacy. Rules were meant to be bent a little. After all we, the alumni, paid for most of the remodeling we were witness too. There had been a lot of remodeling over 25 years.
Riles favorite was Sherwood center with the 110 foot climbing wall, sixty feet tall. designed by the REI architect. At 3:30 it would be open for climbing. Riles was there waiting at 3:30. E took him as LL and I were at a wine tasting room downtown sampling the selection. E didn't drink so she was fine laughing at us and then pretending to be Riles guardian so he could sign in and start watching the safety video for the climbing wall. By the time we walked back to campus with our bottles of wine Riles was just getting his gear on and heading to his first climb.
The first wall he aced in moments. Just a regular vertical assent. The next two climbs got progressively more difficult with the wall tipped out so he had to carry more of his weight on his biceps.. By the time he was done he said his arms were numb and exhausted. He loved it and just glowed with happiness. Honestly he was awesome all day. Hanging with a bunch of parents and not whining or complaining.
We picked up a couple of books at the bookstore in the morning before the tour and anytime he wanted to tune out he would just open "A hitch hiker's guide to the galaxy" and ignore us in a quiet corner or under a tree while we talked and laughed and admired all the changes to the campus.
Though how could you not love one of the most prestigious and perfect and most expensive colleges in the country. Whitman can do no wrong. Nestled in the lovely quaint town of Walla Walla in the middle of Wheat fields and grape groves for as far as the Eagle flies. The whole college population is smaller than a city high school.. It is warm fuzzy and nurturing.
Our student guide tracked down a teacher in the English department who does tea ceremonies. He did an impromptu Japanese tea service lesson for us that was amazing. The calm presentation after all our rushing around, how the bowl seemed to float out there in the air all on its own as he held it in front of himself and walked the tea bowl to us. The professor was the same professor who had just started his career when we were at Whitman. Time had left him virtually unchanged in the slow back waters of the college.
At 1:00 pm, we were to have a group picture taken on the stairs of the administration building. We received our numbers and got in the photo group of about 100 people . I was surprised at how old everyone looked. I asked Riley if LL and I looked that old and he responded with "You are the youngest one's up there by far". What a wonderful son I have. I turned to LL and asked what was with all the small children. LL and I started late having our children I had thought. There were people with babies and small children running around in our class. Some were adoption children you could tell by ethnicity, but the baby surprised me. We are too old for having babies. LL leans over to me and whispers "second marriages". We giggled.
That night there was a banquette for our graduation group at the hotel down town where we had held many a dance function with our sorority, which is now folded and gone from campus. Greek was not heavily pushed on campus, it was more of a social organization you could join, and pretty laid back, but then maybe that is why our house failed. Maybe we were a bit too laid back .We didn't fight heavily for its survival. My friends and I were more GDI (God Damn Independent) at heart, feet on both sides of the fence
Afew of our friends did not attend the reunion as they said they were already in contact with everyone they wanted to see. That may be true. In my facebook I have more college friends than I recognized attending the reunion. I maybe remembered half a dozen of the people there, while the Whitties I like to play and party with are in my face book but not at the reunion. Thank goodness a few old friends did show up as it was a long way to come not to see anyone we knew and wanted to see and hadn't seen in a while.
People came up to say hi to me and I would have to lean over and whisper to E or LL "How do I know this person?" I am so bad with names and faces. Riley made the wise decision of staying at the hotel to read his book rather than attend the banquette. I brought him home a late dinner afterwards. The hotel staff boxed up his dinner for me. $43 for a slice of lasagna. I did think the banquette was a bit pricey. I split a bottle of wine with another couple at the table. The hotel charged me $40 for a bottle of average table wine.
I was not impressed with the wine selections when we did the wine tasting either. For all the hype Walla Walla gets I think we fell into a tourist trap. But it was all in fun. And when on vacation you have to splurge a bit and have fun. We had a blast. My gut hurts from soar muscles from laughing. I have blisters on my feet from walking the campus in pretty impractical sandals. I have a wonderful glow from visiting my fantasy land. the sun shone the weather was perfect, my friends were all having fun with me. A few dear people I never get to see, I got to spend quality time with. Riles was wonderful and polite and easy. I showed him off with pride.
I have set the bench high by showing Riles such a perfect college first. Now he needs to motivate and start applying and see where he ends up. I gave Tom the instructions that he had better take the boys to OSU and give a glamorous tour of his campus if he wants to motivate them in his preferred Alma Marta's direction. I have to admit choosing a school for an incredible climbing wall, even if it is the biggest indoor climbing wall in North America, and designed by a preeminent architect, is not really a good reason to go there. Now I am back to the real world.
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