I hit a new low. Last night was bowling league. We got off the train with an hour to spare before bowling. Exhausted but looking forward to a fun night of bowling. I could not keep my ball out of the gutters. Shot a 24 in the first game. Ack. Then one of the subs on our team suggested a new technique. Rather than taking my thumb and hitting my forehead in my follow through, as Tom has me do, he suggested in the release of the ball I flip off the center pin. I more than doubled my score the next game. It kept me from turning over my hand. I am still trying to prevent the cross body arm swing. This helped .
In golf I would visualize the ball as some one's head before I hit it with the club. In bowling there are ten pins. Too many heads to aim for. Flipping off the head pin works. I was running on adrenaline. I had to have two cups of coffee to stay on task for three games.
My last game I think I shot a 96 . I don't know what they will do to my handicap next week. Hard to handicap someone that shoots a 24 then a 96 in the same night. Just keeping the ball in the alley was challenging. I got excited when I would barely squeak by the corner pin and knock it down, before falling into the gutter. One pin, just one and the whole place would cheer. Nothing makes people happier than rooting for the underdog.
I slept soundly and slept in late today. It felt so good to be curled up in my own bed. The dog tried to come under the covers all wet from the rain outside when the boys let him out before going to school.I finally raised the blankets and let him into my warm spot so he would let me sleep longer.
I feel refreshed and invigorated by a good night sleep. Glad to be home, but I can't help smiling over the last 24 hours. WE can still pull off a good time, Tom and I, old though we are getting.
The boys survived without us, without incident. No fighting, No biting. Trev even had a babysitting gig for extra pocket money. The child was dropped at our house for a couple of hours. Gone before we even knew she had been there. I like that the boys were otherwise occupied as a few of my friends have children in their teens that have discovered the opposite sex.
My boys are still in the early stages of group dating or chaperoned dates with tag along parents dropping the children off at the mall and picking them up again. Can't get into trouble in well lit public places and small windows of time, and no privacy. Mostly they just go out with groups of friends.
Riley still doesn't want to get his drivers license. I am in no hurry to push him as it saves us money not having a male teen driver on our insurance. I told Trevor he needs to get his grades up before I pay for his driving class. That will buy me some time or motivate the boy, a win win situation as far as I am concerned. Meanwhile, I breath easy as my boys don't have a serious girlfriend for us to worry about, yet.
Tom was right again as I now see my friends with teen daughters deal with teen issues. Tom prayed for only boys. Now that the boys are teens, I am grateful. WE have it so much easier in some ways than my friends with teen age daughters. The thought of my babies dating is freaky. Especially when, in this modern age, dating seems to be a euphemism for having sex.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Wedding Anniversary
WE debated whether this was our 20th anniversary or not. Riley turned 17 so it turned out to be our 19th. We had Riley just short of two years married. It is a good way to keep track as he always knows how old he is. Tom bought at a charity auction a night in Seattle at a fancy hotel and gift cards to a local bar. There were also baseball game tickets but he gave those away as we had no interest in seeing the game. We saved the hotel stay for use later. Later came in the form of my suggesting we go to Seattle for our anniversary. I don't think we had celebrated our anniversary since the children came into our lives.
WE went golfing in Phoenix on our first anniversary, then we had Riley and I kept forgetting the date when it came round. Tom brought home a cake and flowers one year and I asked whose birthday it was.
I suggested taking the train for a stress free travel experience. Ever since we did that east coast ride with the boys in 2010, we have been wanting to do the train again. With the price of gas it is a break even proposition. We wouldn't have to pay for down town parking for the car if we leave it behind. Tom Loved the idea.
We dressed up. I even wore heals and nylons. We packed a small overnight bag. I was a little disappointed when we got on the train. The trains on the west coast are not as spacious with leg room as the east coast seats. But there was a club car serving coffee and I gave Tom one of the books I had chosen for him for Christmas to read on the train. He loved the book. Getting him to put the book down became an issue. I do love when I find a book that he enjoys. This was Christopher Hatcher, Arguably, a book of essays he wrote during his life. Hatcher died in 2011. I figured at least with essays, Tom would put the book down between chapters. Tom found the author a like minded individual, and a pleasure to read.
A couple of friends were also available to join us for dinner, in Seattle. These friends were in our wedding. Tom had been with his first wife at their wedding a few years before our wedding. These friends go way back. They know all our secrets and fun times.They can't make it a late night as it is a work night for them and they have a teen out and about that needs pick up around 9:30. We are just happy they could join us for dinner. Besides I have found with age that I don't do late nights that well either. I fade early these days.
Tom and I have hours to kill once we arrive in Seattle, before dinner. He decides the pants he has on are too short. They were too short, bought to be worn with his work boots not his dress shoes. I want to see the Christmas decorations around town, so we go for a walk after dropping our bag off at the hotel. We swing into Nordstroms, where Tom suffers sticker shock that a pair of Dockers costs $165. I explain that if we go across the street to Macy's the pants will only cost $85. We leave Nordstrom's and walk over to Macy's where the Dockers are on sale for $60.
I tell Tom he needs to clearance his closet so I know that he needs new pants. He must have 15 pair of tan pants alone, but there seems to be a stain or tear in every pair, he tells me, which is how he ended up wearing the pair he chose as the only nice clean pair he could find. He always wears the nice pairs and gets stains on them from work. He forgets to save the nice pairs for nice occassions like today.
We head back to the hotel so he can change into his new pair of pants, stopping along the way to check out the menus of the fancy restaurants to see where we want to have dinner.Tom and I are both hungry so we stop in at Cutters on the water by the Pike Place Market for lunch. WE again get sticker shock at the cost of food in a restaurant in Seattle. Three Jumbo prawns $22. We must have been paying for the view of the Sound.
We walk back through the market for a bit of local flavor. Tom takes a deep breath and and comments on how good the smell of "ganja" is. We giggle as we pass the grunge dressed young people on the street,. Not much has changed with regards to those hanging out in the city on street corners in 20 years. I was sad to see how many empty booths there were in the market. There weren't that many tourists either. The economy has impacted everyone.
The hotel W is centrally located, with many restaurants within a block or two. It is extremely modern in the lobby. Reminds me of the Tree of Life in the Avatar movie, with strands of string hanging from the ceiling and tube lights, lots of reflective surfaces and mirrors. Huge pillars were supposed to represent trees. The hotel restaurant was called Trace, I assume as in leave no trace, which specializes in organic and locally gathered foods.
The eggs at breakfast the next day tasted different as they were organic. I don't particularly like free range eggs as it reminds me of the time my pet chicken went off and hatched her babies. Now I can't help thinking that someone killed the poor baby chicks to make my eggs. Give me the standard factory processed white eggs please, with no funky flavor.
We spend the rest of the late afternoon the first day, in our room, until close to when our friends can meet us after work. We head to the bar for a glass of wine while we wait. Once our friends arrive the restaurant choice is made to go to the Capital Grill, a delightfully decadent steak house. The Steaks are $50 a la cart. We order an incredible bottle of wine, 2007 Feather. I wont tell you the price. We were celebrating 19 years of marriage and a couple of years together prior to that. We made it through some challenging times.
Tom took our marriage certificate to work to add me to his plan when we were first married and I never saw it again. Thus the debate on whether it was 19 or 20 years, 1992 or 1993. Tom's first wedding ring had the date engraved in the band, but that ring had to be replaced after a golf trip. I smiled because I knew he would lose it eventually. He lost the wedding band in his first marriage. I had not spent a lot on that first ring in anticipation of it getting lost, as a result. The replacement ring is much nicer, with real gold nuggets set in the band. He keeps better track of his ring now, but the new one is not engraved with the date.
After a wonderful evening of delicious foods, we leave the restaurant to hit the wine bar across the street. WE still have the gift cards to spend at the wine bar. The waiter from the Capital Grill has called the wine bar to tell them we are coming. He even sends over an after dinner plate of stuffed dates. How he knew I loved dates I have no idea. I virtually licked my plate clean at dinner the food was so good. He could have sent over anything from that kitchen and I would have melted. WE had lobster mac and cheese and asparagus and steamed spinach as our sides and nothing was left at the end of dinner.
At the wine bar I read the after dinner menu. They have a selection of Grappa's from Italy. It brings back nostalgic memories of my trip to Europe with my step mom and little sister. My step mom took a year of Italian in preparation for that trip and flirted with all the waiters every night when we ate out. Often the waiters would bring us Grappa at the end of the meal just because we were so much fun to serve. Kind of like the waiter sending us a parting after dinner treat of stuffed dates. He also sent us away with two dessert bags. Tom and I tried ours once we finally made it back to the hotel room, a coffee double chocolate cheesecake that just melted in our mouths.
I saw on the menu that there was a Grappa from Portland,Oregon. I was so surprised to see the location I had to try it. It was smooth, delicious and I could not have improved upon it. A wonderful choice for after dinner drink. Grappa is sipped slowly and savored. I have been reading more and more about little hidden gems of local distilleries. I have now discovered a new one I need to track down, my new favorite drink. I will remember fondly this anniversary evening.
Our friends had to leave shortly. Tom and I headed back to the hotel after buying one bottle to go in order to use up the gift card completely. A memento of the night. WE stopped at the hotel bar for one last cocktail. Just a Bailey's before heading up to our room. WE crawled into bed and bought the movie Battleship which is a silly action packed alien invasion kind of movie, spin off of Transformers but not. The anniversary ended as we fell asleep.
I called the front desk the next morning to tell them we would be late checking out. Our train did not leave until after 2:00pm. They arranged for a town car to drive us the 15 blocks to the train station. Tom read his book on the ride home. I looked out the window at the views. Our car was still there waiting for us when we got in. I loved the easy stress free fun of this anniversary. I can't wait until it is our 20th.
WE went golfing in Phoenix on our first anniversary, then we had Riley and I kept forgetting the date when it came round. Tom brought home a cake and flowers one year and I asked whose birthday it was.
I suggested taking the train for a stress free travel experience. Ever since we did that east coast ride with the boys in 2010, we have been wanting to do the train again. With the price of gas it is a break even proposition. We wouldn't have to pay for down town parking for the car if we leave it behind. Tom Loved the idea.
We dressed up. I even wore heals and nylons. We packed a small overnight bag. I was a little disappointed when we got on the train. The trains on the west coast are not as spacious with leg room as the east coast seats. But there was a club car serving coffee and I gave Tom one of the books I had chosen for him for Christmas to read on the train. He loved the book. Getting him to put the book down became an issue. I do love when I find a book that he enjoys. This was Christopher Hatcher, Arguably, a book of essays he wrote during his life. Hatcher died in 2011. I figured at least with essays, Tom would put the book down between chapters. Tom found the author a like minded individual, and a pleasure to read.
A couple of friends were also available to join us for dinner, in Seattle. These friends were in our wedding. Tom had been with his first wife at their wedding a few years before our wedding. These friends go way back. They know all our secrets and fun times.They can't make it a late night as it is a work night for them and they have a teen out and about that needs pick up around 9:30. We are just happy they could join us for dinner. Besides I have found with age that I don't do late nights that well either. I fade early these days.
Tom and I have hours to kill once we arrive in Seattle, before dinner. He decides the pants he has on are too short. They were too short, bought to be worn with his work boots not his dress shoes. I want to see the Christmas decorations around town, so we go for a walk after dropping our bag off at the hotel. We swing into Nordstroms, where Tom suffers sticker shock that a pair of Dockers costs $165. I explain that if we go across the street to Macy's the pants will only cost $85. We leave Nordstrom's and walk over to Macy's where the Dockers are on sale for $60.
I tell Tom he needs to clearance his closet so I know that he needs new pants. He must have 15 pair of tan pants alone, but there seems to be a stain or tear in every pair, he tells me, which is how he ended up wearing the pair he chose as the only nice clean pair he could find. He always wears the nice pairs and gets stains on them from work. He forgets to save the nice pairs for nice occassions like today.
We head back to the hotel so he can change into his new pair of pants, stopping along the way to check out the menus of the fancy restaurants to see where we want to have dinner.Tom and I are both hungry so we stop in at Cutters on the water by the Pike Place Market for lunch. WE again get sticker shock at the cost of food in a restaurant in Seattle. Three Jumbo prawns $22. We must have been paying for the view of the Sound.
We walk back through the market for a bit of local flavor. Tom takes a deep breath and and comments on how good the smell of "ganja" is. We giggle as we pass the grunge dressed young people on the street,. Not much has changed with regards to those hanging out in the city on street corners in 20 years. I was sad to see how many empty booths there were in the market. There weren't that many tourists either. The economy has impacted everyone.
The hotel W is centrally located, with many restaurants within a block or two. It is extremely modern in the lobby. Reminds me of the Tree of Life in the Avatar movie, with strands of string hanging from the ceiling and tube lights, lots of reflective surfaces and mirrors. Huge pillars were supposed to represent trees. The hotel restaurant was called Trace, I assume as in leave no trace, which specializes in organic and locally gathered foods.
The eggs at breakfast the next day tasted different as they were organic. I don't particularly like free range eggs as it reminds me of the time my pet chicken went off and hatched her babies. Now I can't help thinking that someone killed the poor baby chicks to make my eggs. Give me the standard factory processed white eggs please, with no funky flavor.
We spend the rest of the late afternoon the first day, in our room, until close to when our friends can meet us after work. We head to the bar for a glass of wine while we wait. Once our friends arrive the restaurant choice is made to go to the Capital Grill, a delightfully decadent steak house. The Steaks are $50 a la cart. We order an incredible bottle of wine, 2007 Feather. I wont tell you the price. We were celebrating 19 years of marriage and a couple of years together prior to that. We made it through some challenging times.
Tom took our marriage certificate to work to add me to his plan when we were first married and I never saw it again. Thus the debate on whether it was 19 or 20 years, 1992 or 1993. Tom's first wedding ring had the date engraved in the band, but that ring had to be replaced after a golf trip. I smiled because I knew he would lose it eventually. He lost the wedding band in his first marriage. I had not spent a lot on that first ring in anticipation of it getting lost, as a result. The replacement ring is much nicer, with real gold nuggets set in the band. He keeps better track of his ring now, but the new one is not engraved with the date.
After a wonderful evening of delicious foods, we leave the restaurant to hit the wine bar across the street. WE still have the gift cards to spend at the wine bar. The waiter from the Capital Grill has called the wine bar to tell them we are coming. He even sends over an after dinner plate of stuffed dates. How he knew I loved dates I have no idea. I virtually licked my plate clean at dinner the food was so good. He could have sent over anything from that kitchen and I would have melted. WE had lobster mac and cheese and asparagus and steamed spinach as our sides and nothing was left at the end of dinner.
At the wine bar I read the after dinner menu. They have a selection of Grappa's from Italy. It brings back nostalgic memories of my trip to Europe with my step mom and little sister. My step mom took a year of Italian in preparation for that trip and flirted with all the waiters every night when we ate out. Often the waiters would bring us Grappa at the end of the meal just because we were so much fun to serve. Kind of like the waiter sending us a parting after dinner treat of stuffed dates. He also sent us away with two dessert bags. Tom and I tried ours once we finally made it back to the hotel room, a coffee double chocolate cheesecake that just melted in our mouths.
I saw on the menu that there was a Grappa from Portland,Oregon. I was so surprised to see the location I had to try it. It was smooth, delicious and I could not have improved upon it. A wonderful choice for after dinner drink. Grappa is sipped slowly and savored. I have been reading more and more about little hidden gems of local distilleries. I have now discovered a new one I need to track down, my new favorite drink. I will remember fondly this anniversary evening.
Our friends had to leave shortly. Tom and I headed back to the hotel after buying one bottle to go in order to use up the gift card completely. A memento of the night. WE stopped at the hotel bar for one last cocktail. Just a Bailey's before heading up to our room. WE crawled into bed and bought the movie Battleship which is a silly action packed alien invasion kind of movie, spin off of Transformers but not. The anniversary ended as we fell asleep.
I called the front desk the next morning to tell them we would be late checking out. Our train did not leave until after 2:00pm. They arranged for a town car to drive us the 15 blocks to the train station. Tom read his book on the ride home. I looked out the window at the views. Our car was still there waiting for us when we got in. I loved the easy stress free fun of this anniversary. I can't wait until it is our 20th.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
The nursery
I am loving this window of rainless weather. I have been out limbing up the downed trees so Tom can get out there with his chain saw and cut up the bigger branches safely without worry of a branch snapping back. I have clipped and clipped until only the biggest limbs are left. Since we can't burn I have also been clipping the branches down to mulching size, everything under a foot, by hand or with my clippers. That way as I walk through the property there is nothing to catch my legs and trip me up. The branches will decompose faster if they are in direct contact with the ground. The work has been quite satisfying.
So satisfying in fact that I went to the nursery to pick up my English Laurels. The nursery called to tell me my order was in. I can't wait to have my barrier wall of English Laural up to give my neighbor some privacy from the irritant of having neighbors next door. English Laurels are the hedges that get really big and tall. They grow quickly and trim easily. Trimming makes them fill in even more thickly. They can be 25 feet tall and wide, or not, according to your trimming. I love the concept of a twenty five foot barrier wall between our homes. That should solve many anxieties on both sides of the living fence.
I asked for two more English Laurels to be delivered in the spring to spread out the cost of the fence over time. Each four foot bush costs $34, plus a good bag of soil to give them a healthy start. $95 and I have my first potential 16 feet of living fence, if you figure eight feet apart placement. Once established there will be no care needed or maintenance unless I feel so inclined. No more looking at the neglected house next door. No more feeling as if he is peaking out his windows waiting for me to do something to irritate him. The bushes will even muffle some of our loud noises. I can't wait to get started on planting.
I had a hard time resisting the temptation to place more orders for other plants. The nursery gives a 30% discount to pre paying for fruit trees arriving at the end of January. I have been making my lists and checking them twice. Italian plum, Fuji pear, peach, cherry, It is so hard to limit myself. Plus I want the evergreen colors also. Magnolia and a few firs thrown in for interest. It was delightful to wander the nursery this time of year because you can see what the plants look like in the coldest season. The nursery brings in things that do well for our area so the likelyhood for survival even with neglect is stronger.
I have beautiful visions of my garden in a few years.
So satisfying in fact that I went to the nursery to pick up my English Laurels. The nursery called to tell me my order was in. I can't wait to have my barrier wall of English Laural up to give my neighbor some privacy from the irritant of having neighbors next door. English Laurels are the hedges that get really big and tall. They grow quickly and trim easily. Trimming makes them fill in even more thickly. They can be 25 feet tall and wide, or not, according to your trimming. I love the concept of a twenty five foot barrier wall between our homes. That should solve many anxieties on both sides of the living fence.
I asked for two more English Laurels to be delivered in the spring to spread out the cost of the fence over time. Each four foot bush costs $34, plus a good bag of soil to give them a healthy start. $95 and I have my first potential 16 feet of living fence, if you figure eight feet apart placement. Once established there will be no care needed or maintenance unless I feel so inclined. No more looking at the neglected house next door. No more feeling as if he is peaking out his windows waiting for me to do something to irritate him. The bushes will even muffle some of our loud noises. I can't wait to get started on planting.
I had a hard time resisting the temptation to place more orders for other plants. The nursery gives a 30% discount to pre paying for fruit trees arriving at the end of January. I have been making my lists and checking them twice. Italian plum, Fuji pear, peach, cherry, It is so hard to limit myself. Plus I want the evergreen colors also. Magnolia and a few firs thrown in for interest. It was delightful to wander the nursery this time of year because you can see what the plants look like in the coldest season. The nursery brings in things that do well for our area so the likelyhood for survival even with neglect is stronger.
I have beautiful visions of my garden in a few years.
The Girdle
A friend showed me an article on 20/20 regarding lace up girdles. She had noticed after her cat had been bound around the waist after a surgery that the cat's hanging stomach no longer hung down to the ground. I have another friend who had bound her female dog to raise the dog's sagging nipples from the ground after having puppies. Over a cup of coffee my friend and I decided that our sagging stomachs could take a girdle lift. We went on line to price them out and look at the various styles.
I found we had to check out several sights and look beyond some lewd pictures. We were interested in waist cinches. The selection was big, but I was worried about fit. I tried to find a local store that might carry lacing waist cinches for us to try but none of the stores had exactly what we were looking for. Finally at Sears I found a girdle that doesn't lace but has hooks and flexible ribbing. It is not nearly as strong as I wanted but it claims to shrink the waist by an inch using stretchy fabric. It was only $20, worth the experimentation.
I wore the girdle for several days hooking my self into the contraption consisting of 20 hooks, sucking in my middle age gut. I could tuck my shirt in again. It made a noticeable difference. It also helped suppress my urges to eat. It was not comfortable but neither is forced dieting. This way I still order food but I find when I am wearing the girdle, I can stop myself from over eating. I wore the girdle on Thanksgiving for this very purpose. I did not want to eat myself to oblivion. I was able to take small portions and did not feel a great need to go back for more. The darn thing worked like a charm.
My girl friend and I had taken our measurements when looking on line for the right size lace up waist cincher. The style I have says it will remove one inch. The lace ups say they can remove from 4 to 6 inches. Some even say they can go to 10 inches but many warn of health safety problems if you take it too far. Four inches would be delightful. I have noticed the difference with just my cheap imitation model. I am able to be disciplined in my portions.
I have not lost any significant weight, but I think my tummy pouch is more contained, even when not wearing the girdle. I am still on the hunt for a lace up cinches that I like, but not in any hurry to truly torture myself. Though I have read that the lace up version really does help you eat less and in moderation as your stomach is squished like a lap band surgery without the surgery, forced moderation.
If I can prevent myself from over indulging during the holidays by wearing this contraption, then it was money well spent.
I found we had to check out several sights and look beyond some lewd pictures. We were interested in waist cinches. The selection was big, but I was worried about fit. I tried to find a local store that might carry lacing waist cinches for us to try but none of the stores had exactly what we were looking for. Finally at Sears I found a girdle that doesn't lace but has hooks and flexible ribbing. It is not nearly as strong as I wanted but it claims to shrink the waist by an inch using stretchy fabric. It was only $20, worth the experimentation.
I wore the girdle for several days hooking my self into the contraption consisting of 20 hooks, sucking in my middle age gut. I could tuck my shirt in again. It made a noticeable difference. It also helped suppress my urges to eat. It was not comfortable but neither is forced dieting. This way I still order food but I find when I am wearing the girdle, I can stop myself from over eating. I wore the girdle on Thanksgiving for this very purpose. I did not want to eat myself to oblivion. I was able to take small portions and did not feel a great need to go back for more. The darn thing worked like a charm.
My girl friend and I had taken our measurements when looking on line for the right size lace up waist cincher. The style I have says it will remove one inch. The lace ups say they can remove from 4 to 6 inches. Some even say they can go to 10 inches but many warn of health safety problems if you take it too far. Four inches would be delightful. I have noticed the difference with just my cheap imitation model. I am able to be disciplined in my portions.
I have not lost any significant weight, but I think my tummy pouch is more contained, even when not wearing the girdle. I am still on the hunt for a lace up cinches that I like, but not in any hurry to truly torture myself. Though I have read that the lace up version really does help you eat less and in moderation as your stomach is squished like a lap band surgery without the surgery, forced moderation.
If I can prevent myself from over indulging during the holidays by wearing this contraption, then it was money well spent.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Riley's day
Riley's birthday falls close to Thanksgiving. When the boys were little we would hit my family's Thanks giving and Tom's family. Two feasts in one day. We did not celebrate at home. As a result, Riley liked the tradition of having an early Thanksgiving feast to celebrate his birthday. The whole turkey and stuffing and yams and potatoes with the fine china and sparkling wine glasses on the table. Riley would sit at the head and host all his friends to a fancy dinner. He asked for the same this year.
I Invited all his hold friends and arranged for an out of town friend to come stay for a long weekend. It was lovey. Riley was thoroughy entertained. I do have to say though that I spent enough feeding the hords and going to the store to buy more groceries than if I had just taken Riley and a couple of friends to the movies with popcorn and bought him a gift. I did not buy Riley a gift other than paying an enormous grocery bill. I bought a huge ham as The feast fell so close to Thanksgiving this year that Tom asked if Riley could opt for another meat other than Turkey as we would be inundartted with Turkey again in just a few days. Riley opted for a spiral ham.
I overestimated our needs and bought a whole ham to cook up. We will be serving left overs on Thursday with a fresh turkey. There was so much ham I had to freeze some for use later.
A storm came through on the day of the party. We lost power mid afternoon for a short while. Luckily all the dishes were done and could still be served. The power was not out for long, but while I waited I got out lots of candle sticks and candles to be prepared after dark. I filled hurricane lamps with oil and set them in the windows. The house looked lovely.
A disturbing and upsetting moment came when I could not find the salad plates to my favorite table setting. My special events china that I store in padded china bags is missing a bag full of salad plates. I served on them last Christmas, but for the life of me I can not find where I stored them from last year. I am still in a panic. My mom says not to worry, that they will turn up. If she is not distressed over the missing plates, I will try not to stress.
She says I need to be more organized. When we bought this house she warned me there was no storage anywhere. It is a very modern home with clean lines and open floor plans. Even the basement is just one big open space. I have spent a year putting up shelves and trying to find good spots for everything.
Without a pantry and a tiny kitchen, my dishes are scattered in various locations and some are still in boxes in the basement. I had an interior decorator come. She gave me some brilliant ideas on pantry location.
As we lie in bed at night Tom tells me he loves this house. He asks why I don't love this house. It just needs some tweaking to make it good is all, but without that tweaking there are serious flaws.
The storm last week had water coming in the window again. All that caulking we did this summer was not enough. WE will need to replace the siding next summer. Meanwhile I have towels on all the window sills whenever a big storm blows in lots of water.
The PUD came out for an assessment. They will pay $6 a square foot towards the cost of replacing the windows. It works out to about a 30% discount toward each window. Of course the estimate is $10,000 for all the windows and they don't include sky lights. But knocking $3500 off the bill is no small change.
I am grateful that we took the trees down last week as the storm this weekend was a doozy. Tom and I kept looking out the windows watching the trees in the distance sway in the heavy winds. There were limbs down in the roads all over town. Flood warnings were out for high water.
The water bucket I use to capture ground water in the basement during heavy rains had to be emptied a couple of times. That bucket does the trick at capturing water and keeping the basement dry. A simple and cheap solution to the PUD's box leaking below ground level. They told us we would have to pay for the box to be moved above ground level to stop the water using their cables to drip inside the house. Tom said he would readdress the problem later, but meanwhile a cheap plastic bucket set under the drip, occasionally emptied in heavy rains, solves a whole lot of water issues. Love the simple solutions.
The simple solution in the kitchen according to the interior decorator is that the kitchen is out of proportion too small for the house. The kitchen should be expanded into the family room area with a set of pantry cabinets on the long wall. It was so easy to see once she said it, and such a simple solution.
She came from a house with the laundry and the master on the main floor so she didn't quite see the laundry issue. She told me though that I needed to find my worst anxieties and issues with the house and solve them first and to completion. The kitchen would give me the most bang for my dollar. She recommended taking out the floor and making the floor all one big room. I had no argument with that. She just affirmed what Tom and I had already thought. It was a lovely visit at $65 an hour, but cheaper than a therapist and for me more effective, and she makes house calls.
I Invited all his hold friends and arranged for an out of town friend to come stay for a long weekend. It was lovey. Riley was thoroughy entertained. I do have to say though that I spent enough feeding the hords and going to the store to buy more groceries than if I had just taken Riley and a couple of friends to the movies with popcorn and bought him a gift. I did not buy Riley a gift other than paying an enormous grocery bill. I bought a huge ham as The feast fell so close to Thanksgiving this year that Tom asked if Riley could opt for another meat other than Turkey as we would be inundartted with Turkey again in just a few days. Riley opted for a spiral ham.
I overestimated our needs and bought a whole ham to cook up. We will be serving left overs on Thursday with a fresh turkey. There was so much ham I had to freeze some for use later.
A storm came through on the day of the party. We lost power mid afternoon for a short while. Luckily all the dishes were done and could still be served. The power was not out for long, but while I waited I got out lots of candle sticks and candles to be prepared after dark. I filled hurricane lamps with oil and set them in the windows. The house looked lovely.
A disturbing and upsetting moment came when I could not find the salad plates to my favorite table setting. My special events china that I store in padded china bags is missing a bag full of salad plates. I served on them last Christmas, but for the life of me I can not find where I stored them from last year. I am still in a panic. My mom says not to worry, that they will turn up. If she is not distressed over the missing plates, I will try not to stress.
She says I need to be more organized. When we bought this house she warned me there was no storage anywhere. It is a very modern home with clean lines and open floor plans. Even the basement is just one big open space. I have spent a year putting up shelves and trying to find good spots for everything.
Without a pantry and a tiny kitchen, my dishes are scattered in various locations and some are still in boxes in the basement. I had an interior decorator come. She gave me some brilliant ideas on pantry location.
As we lie in bed at night Tom tells me he loves this house. He asks why I don't love this house. It just needs some tweaking to make it good is all, but without that tweaking there are serious flaws.
The storm last week had water coming in the window again. All that caulking we did this summer was not enough. WE will need to replace the siding next summer. Meanwhile I have towels on all the window sills whenever a big storm blows in lots of water.
The PUD came out for an assessment. They will pay $6 a square foot towards the cost of replacing the windows. It works out to about a 30% discount toward each window. Of course the estimate is $10,000 for all the windows and they don't include sky lights. But knocking $3500 off the bill is no small change.
I am grateful that we took the trees down last week as the storm this weekend was a doozy. Tom and I kept looking out the windows watching the trees in the distance sway in the heavy winds. There were limbs down in the roads all over town. Flood warnings were out for high water.
The water bucket I use to capture ground water in the basement during heavy rains had to be emptied a couple of times. That bucket does the trick at capturing water and keeping the basement dry. A simple and cheap solution to the PUD's box leaking below ground level. They told us we would have to pay for the box to be moved above ground level to stop the water using their cables to drip inside the house. Tom said he would readdress the problem later, but meanwhile a cheap plastic bucket set under the drip, occasionally emptied in heavy rains, solves a whole lot of water issues. Love the simple solutions.
The simple solution in the kitchen according to the interior decorator is that the kitchen is out of proportion too small for the house. The kitchen should be expanded into the family room area with a set of pantry cabinets on the long wall. It was so easy to see once she said it, and such a simple solution.
She came from a house with the laundry and the master on the main floor so she didn't quite see the laundry issue. She told me though that I needed to find my worst anxieties and issues with the house and solve them first and to completion. The kitchen would give me the most bang for my dollar. She recommended taking out the floor and making the floor all one big room. I had no argument with that. She just affirmed what Tom and I had already thought. It was a lovely visit at $65 an hour, but cheaper than a therapist and for me more effective, and she makes house calls.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Tree swaying
My adrenalin is up. Went out on the deck to check the yard. I stsnd admiring my views and trying to see where each of my chosen, yet to be purchased trees are going to be planted. The wind is blowing. AS I watch I realize one of the Alders we want removed is swaying a bit too much in the wind. The trunk seems to be tipping a bit too much towards the house.
As I stand and watch I realize that this tree is going to be coming down. Probably the only thing holding the tree up is its neighbor's roots wrapped around it's roots. The day is overcast with mild winter winds. Nothing spactaular about the day. The winds are just enough to get the tree rocking.
I call out to Tom, in the man cave. He is home watching the elections. He is some what obsessed with the elections. "Sweetness" I call out, as I climb the stairs into his territory. "Sweetness? Not to disturb you but I need you to look at a tree in the yard. The trunk is swaying way too much. I think it is going to come down."
Tom climbs out of his favorite recliner and heads out on to his upper deck. He stands and watches the tree under discussion. He proceeds to go down the outside stairs and across the yard and down the bank where he puts his hand on the trunk of said tree. He feels it breath in the wind.
I had recieved a bid on taking this tree and it's neighbors out this summer. I had been waiting for the leaves to fall as Tom just wanted the tree guy to drop the trees and He, Tom, would do the bucking up. about $100 a tree was the bid. It looks like now is the time.
Tom calls up to me on the deck that he can feel the trunk move. He says "If only we can get it to hit the windows". He means the ones that need replacing due to the cracked seals. I call back that it is aimed for our bedroom and will crush my beautiful metal roof.
I called the tree guy. He stopped by to look and said the ground is not heaving he could bring a crew next week. WE scheduled the day just for peace of mind.
As I stand and watch I realize that this tree is going to be coming down. Probably the only thing holding the tree up is its neighbor's roots wrapped around it's roots. The day is overcast with mild winter winds. Nothing spactaular about the day. The winds are just enough to get the tree rocking.
I call out to Tom, in the man cave. He is home watching the elections. He is some what obsessed with the elections. "Sweetness" I call out, as I climb the stairs into his territory. "Sweetness? Not to disturb you but I need you to look at a tree in the yard. The trunk is swaying way too much. I think it is going to come down."
Tom climbs out of his favorite recliner and heads out on to his upper deck. He stands and watches the tree under discussion. He proceeds to go down the outside stairs and across the yard and down the bank where he puts his hand on the trunk of said tree. He feels it breath in the wind.
I had recieved a bid on taking this tree and it's neighbors out this summer. I had been waiting for the leaves to fall as Tom just wanted the tree guy to drop the trees and He, Tom, would do the bucking up. about $100 a tree was the bid. It looks like now is the time.
Tom calls up to me on the deck that he can feel the trunk move. He says "If only we can get it to hit the windows". He means the ones that need replacing due to the cracked seals. I call back that it is aimed for our bedroom and will crush my beautiful metal roof.
I called the tree guy. He stopped by to look and said the ground is not heaving he could bring a crew next week. WE scheduled the day just for peace of mind.
One week
Its been a week. Quite a busy one at that. Put my Dad at rest last Friday with my siblings. A big wind storm came up and the trees in the back yard started to sway. Of course the trees could sway down the hill away from the deck and house, but no, the middle cotton wood swayed as if it was going to come down right on my lovely medal roof, and crush my lovely deck. I brought Tom out to see the swaying trees. He agreed they should be removed if only for peace of mind.
Yesterday, the tree guys arrived at 7:30 am. They started chain saws exactly at 8:00am. Six big Cottonwoods were dropped. Tom and I are on clean up to save money. It is three times more expensive than just having the trees dropped, if the crew does the clean up. I am trying to figure out what to do with the wood as we are in a burn ban zone and cottonwood is stinky when burned I am told. The men finished the job in less than two hours.
It was amazing to see the men climb up the trees , limbing as they went with running chain saws. they took several of the trees down in segments for safety of the house. When the big trunks finally fell, the ground shook. Had the trees fallen in the wind they would have caused massive damage.
I went out with my clippers to limb up some of the downed branches. If I cut everything into small chunks they will lie flat on the ground and decompose faster. They will also take up less room. tom has given me permission to buy a new set of cool clippers. I had seen one at a friend's home which was hinged for leverage with bigger branches. Loved it.
The boys came home. I started preparing dinner with Riley, until he reminded me I had a date night planned with Tom. The boys were getting to eat Shepard's pie all to themselves, one of their favorite dinners. Ten potatoes mashed and placed on top of a pound of ground hamburger and three cans of green beans and onions and petite diced tomatoes and a small can of tomato sauce, topped with cheese and baked. There are no left overs.
I went back outside to catch the last of the day doing yard work. After sweating in the beautiful sun until it was too dark to see, I ran inside to dress for the club. It was Reno night where our husbands play dealer and the women gamble. Only members can participate, but it is one of the funnest events of the year. At dinner, envelopes of chips are given out as prizes to start the players off. I won $15 in chips. Pretty much almost every woman won chips.
Tom was one of the dealers. He is a popular table as he peaks at the dealers hand and tips everyone off as to whether they should hit or split or if it is a lost cause from the beginning. The dealers have their cocktails beside the card shoe. It is a very casual affair, but I dressed up in as black cocktail dress and nylons, as the theme was Reno night. I don't particularly like to gamble. I swear I will have a heart attack over the stress I feel at each hand. I feel agitated until the hand is over and I have won or lost.
After three hours I am ready to head home. I broke even for the night, which is how I like it. I drove Tom and me home, where we cuddled on the couch watching a recording of the new episode of Gray's Anatomy. It was after midnight when I went to bed, exhausted.
Had to get up in the morning to drive Riley to school as he was taking a home made dessert, Spanish lemon sponge cake. The students have made up a menu with each group preparing an authentic dish. Riley chose sponge cake. He also chose marzipan cookies but they turned into a sticky globular mess on the cookie sheet that will need to be left to soak in order to remove the sticky mess.Riley decided not to do flan, that the lemon sponge cake would work more easily. Of course we over cooked the sponge cake but were able to still wrap it up with whip cream in the middle. It looked credibly home made, no cheating.
Riley will be translating the recipe into Spanish and presenting the dessert to the class. For safety's sake I drove him to school so he could drop the dessert off in the classroom without incident. Several people asked if sponge cake was really a Spanish dish. Riley said he checked several web sites and books to confirm. I just don't know that many people will get to taste that small cake for a class of 30. I asked if he wanted to make another cake, but he passed on the offer. One sponge cake was all he needed for the grade.
This morning, my grouchy neighbor called to let me know he saw the trees down in the back yard and a few of the branches were on his property line. I can honestly say a surveyor could call it either way, it was that close. OMG. He did say he was pleased to have the cotton woods gone as they would send their little fluff out into the wind and end up in his garage. But he wanted to affirm we were not burning and that we would be cleaning it all up. He also told me one of his trees has a branch on our roof which he would let us remove. Really? You should see his overgrown yard. I have been spraying the black berries between our two houses. He needs someone to work on his place. I couldn't believe he called. I have ordered some English Laurels to begin my privacy hedge between our houses. I may be ordering more.
I am thinking maybe we should build a horse fence down that side of the yard with the branches of the downed trees. I have enough branches to build a fence the whole way round the property. Tom and the boys want a big dog. We will need to fence for a puppy. First things first, we get the back yard in order. I can finally start planting.
Yesterday, the tree guys arrived at 7:30 am. They started chain saws exactly at 8:00am. Six big Cottonwoods were dropped. Tom and I are on clean up to save money. It is three times more expensive than just having the trees dropped, if the crew does the clean up. I am trying to figure out what to do with the wood as we are in a burn ban zone and cottonwood is stinky when burned I am told. The men finished the job in less than two hours.
It was amazing to see the men climb up the trees , limbing as they went with running chain saws. they took several of the trees down in segments for safety of the house. When the big trunks finally fell, the ground shook. Had the trees fallen in the wind they would have caused massive damage.
I went out with my clippers to limb up some of the downed branches. If I cut everything into small chunks they will lie flat on the ground and decompose faster. They will also take up less room. tom has given me permission to buy a new set of cool clippers. I had seen one at a friend's home which was hinged for leverage with bigger branches. Loved it.
The boys came home. I started preparing dinner with Riley, until he reminded me I had a date night planned with Tom. The boys were getting to eat Shepard's pie all to themselves, one of their favorite dinners. Ten potatoes mashed and placed on top of a pound of ground hamburger and three cans of green beans and onions and petite diced tomatoes and a small can of tomato sauce, topped with cheese and baked. There are no left overs.
I went back outside to catch the last of the day doing yard work. After sweating in the beautiful sun until it was too dark to see, I ran inside to dress for the club. It was Reno night where our husbands play dealer and the women gamble. Only members can participate, but it is one of the funnest events of the year. At dinner, envelopes of chips are given out as prizes to start the players off. I won $15 in chips. Pretty much almost every woman won chips.
Tom was one of the dealers. He is a popular table as he peaks at the dealers hand and tips everyone off as to whether they should hit or split or if it is a lost cause from the beginning. The dealers have their cocktails beside the card shoe. It is a very casual affair, but I dressed up in as black cocktail dress and nylons, as the theme was Reno night. I don't particularly like to gamble. I swear I will have a heart attack over the stress I feel at each hand. I feel agitated until the hand is over and I have won or lost.
After three hours I am ready to head home. I broke even for the night, which is how I like it. I drove Tom and me home, where we cuddled on the couch watching a recording of the new episode of Gray's Anatomy. It was after midnight when I went to bed, exhausted.
Had to get up in the morning to drive Riley to school as he was taking a home made dessert, Spanish lemon sponge cake. The students have made up a menu with each group preparing an authentic dish. Riley chose sponge cake. He also chose marzipan cookies but they turned into a sticky globular mess on the cookie sheet that will need to be left to soak in order to remove the sticky mess.Riley decided not to do flan, that the lemon sponge cake would work more easily. Of course we over cooked the sponge cake but were able to still wrap it up with whip cream in the middle. It looked credibly home made, no cheating.
Riley will be translating the recipe into Spanish and presenting the dessert to the class. For safety's sake I drove him to school so he could drop the dessert off in the classroom without incident. Several people asked if sponge cake was really a Spanish dish. Riley said he checked several web sites and books to confirm. I just don't know that many people will get to taste that small cake for a class of 30. I asked if he wanted to make another cake, but he passed on the offer. One sponge cake was all he needed for the grade.
This morning, my grouchy neighbor called to let me know he saw the trees down in the back yard and a few of the branches were on his property line. I can honestly say a surveyor could call it either way, it was that close. OMG. He did say he was pleased to have the cotton woods gone as they would send their little fluff out into the wind and end up in his garage. But he wanted to affirm we were not burning and that we would be cleaning it all up. He also told me one of his trees has a branch on our roof which he would let us remove. Really? You should see his overgrown yard. I have been spraying the black berries between our two houses. He needs someone to work on his place. I couldn't believe he called. I have ordered some English Laurels to begin my privacy hedge between our houses. I may be ordering more.
I am thinking maybe we should build a horse fence down that side of the yard with the branches of the downed trees. I have enough branches to build a fence the whole way round the property. Tom and the boys want a big dog. We will need to fence for a puppy. First things first, we get the back yard in order. I can finally start planting.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Planting time
This is the best time to put your big items in the ground; trees and shrubs. The soil is wet and easy to move. My yard is a hillside of hard clay. I can't dig in hard clay in the heat of the summer. Now with the wet weather I don't even have to worry about watering. The plants are going into their dormant stage so they wont even suffer from transplant shock.
I don't like the grey cloudy skies, but if I get up in the morning, I can motivate for a few hours in the yard. I feel better afterwards. Digging in the wet soil reminds me that I like the rain. Rain is a good thing I tell myself. Everything including the weeds has begun to die back for the winter. I can walk my property without fighting the blackberries. I can see they need another spray, but with the rains it will be hard to find a few dry days for the chemical treatment. I will just have to keep my eyes on the blackberry sprouts until I get the opportunity to attack.
I told everyone I wanted an hour of chores out of them today. They all hid from me. Trev and Tom slept in really late and Riley disappeared into the man cave. I finally called breakfast around noon to roust them from their hidy holes. I needed garbage cans brought down from the street and all dirty laundry collected along with any wandering dishes or cans or bottles. Everything goes so much faster when my helpers help.
The boys love to do one chore then ditch until I call them back for their next task. Tom's first chore was to fill out his voter's ballot. I will drop them off now that they are done. When those last minute political callers ring I can tell them "Too late we are done."
I am now off to drag the air compressor into the house so I can finish re attaching the molding in the upstairs hallway, those little details that finish a job to completion.
I was saddened and frustrated to see the shelves I hung in the office closet collapse. I must have missed the stud. Riley's closet is having the same problem but Tom hung that bracket. This house has inches of insulation in front of some of the studs, making it difficult to hit the stud with a stud finder. I wish the sun would shine so I could have another excuse to go work outside.
I don't like the grey cloudy skies, but if I get up in the morning, I can motivate for a few hours in the yard. I feel better afterwards. Digging in the wet soil reminds me that I like the rain. Rain is a good thing I tell myself. Everything including the weeds has begun to die back for the winter. I can walk my property without fighting the blackberries. I can see they need another spray, but with the rains it will be hard to find a few dry days for the chemical treatment. I will just have to keep my eyes on the blackberry sprouts until I get the opportunity to attack.
I told everyone I wanted an hour of chores out of them today. They all hid from me. Trev and Tom slept in really late and Riley disappeared into the man cave. I finally called breakfast around noon to roust them from their hidy holes. I needed garbage cans brought down from the street and all dirty laundry collected along with any wandering dishes or cans or bottles. Everything goes so much faster when my helpers help.
The boys love to do one chore then ditch until I call them back for their next task. Tom's first chore was to fill out his voter's ballot. I will drop them off now that they are done. When those last minute political callers ring I can tell them "Too late we are done."
I am now off to drag the air compressor into the house so I can finish re attaching the molding in the upstairs hallway, those little details that finish a job to completion.
I was saddened and frustrated to see the shelves I hung in the office closet collapse. I must have missed the stud. Riley's closet is having the same problem but Tom hung that bracket. This house has inches of insulation in front of some of the studs, making it difficult to hit the stud with a stud finder. I wish the sun would shine so I could have another excuse to go work outside.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
bowling league
Tom and I dated a few times at the bowling alley. I am not a beer drinker, so he would buy me cheap wine while we bowled. It was probably box wine because it was really cheap, and this was before box wine started to come into its own, which is only recently, the last couple of years. I had one date where I probably got food poisoning. I would bowl my turn then slip into the bathroom and be sick, come back and continue playing.
I have never had much upper body strength so I always bowl with an eight pound ball. Since my little oops with the table saw I had not bowled much at all as I had to switch from left to right handed. When I would take the boys with their friends I would sit in the back and just watch. I am missing the proper fingers on my left hand and I wouldn't want to snap the very nice titanium pin the doctors put in one of my fingers to keep it attached and bendable. It bends a little stiffly to bowl. I would hate to have it bend the wrong way or not release when it should.
Our club has started a bowling league, The advertisement says no skill necessary. They will give us handicaps just like golf. I was invited to sub in. I had showed up a couple of times last year just to watch. The bowling alley still serves cheaply priced wine and beer and good tasting greasy burgers.
The first night I shot 58, 69, 74. No skill needed. The next week I was worse. I titillated the audience of spectating friends with a strike in the first throw. I didn't hit another pin for four more turns. I hit one pin and was thrilled. I ended that set with 28. A guy came up to me and told me I was leading with the wrong foot. Then someone else said to hold the ball up differently. Another person suggested I start on the other side of the alley. Tom suggested I bowl between my legs, granny style. I had another glass of cheap wine and plowed on.
That was a rough night. When I got up to bowl there was a lull in conversations. That silence that comes when no one has anything nice to say. I could feel the crowd praying I hit a pin, just one. All I can say is I can only improve from this point on. I have seen rock bottom. I will either get most improved or perseverance award . Though no prizes are really given, this is a party league.
Tom is loving the ball he bought last season. He has always wanted his own his own bowling ball. He even may have had one at one time that got lost in history. I am loving bowling league. I am looking forward to improving and hitting some pins. I need to strengthen my arms. After that 28, I left myself lots of room for improvement.
I have never had much upper body strength so I always bowl with an eight pound ball. Since my little oops with the table saw I had not bowled much at all as I had to switch from left to right handed. When I would take the boys with their friends I would sit in the back and just watch. I am missing the proper fingers on my left hand and I wouldn't want to snap the very nice titanium pin the doctors put in one of my fingers to keep it attached and bendable. It bends a little stiffly to bowl. I would hate to have it bend the wrong way or not release when it should.
Our club has started a bowling league, The advertisement says no skill necessary. They will give us handicaps just like golf. I was invited to sub in. I had showed up a couple of times last year just to watch. The bowling alley still serves cheaply priced wine and beer and good tasting greasy burgers.
The first night I shot 58, 69, 74. No skill needed. The next week I was worse. I titillated the audience of spectating friends with a strike in the first throw. I didn't hit another pin for four more turns. I hit one pin and was thrilled. I ended that set with 28. A guy came up to me and told me I was leading with the wrong foot. Then someone else said to hold the ball up differently. Another person suggested I start on the other side of the alley. Tom suggested I bowl between my legs, granny style. I had another glass of cheap wine and plowed on.
That was a rough night. When I got up to bowl there was a lull in conversations. That silence that comes when no one has anything nice to say. I could feel the crowd praying I hit a pin, just one. All I can say is I can only improve from this point on. I have seen rock bottom. I will either get most improved or perseverance award . Though no prizes are really given, this is a party league.
Tom is loving the ball he bought last season. He has always wanted his own his own bowling ball. He even may have had one at one time that got lost in history. I am loving bowling league. I am looking forward to improving and hitting some pins. I need to strengthen my arms. After that 28, I left myself lots of room for improvement.
Halloween
Trev had football after school. We had a bad morning with him. He didn't get up with enough time to do what he was supposed to do. He had done a few things to make me cranky, like not shower his stinky body, not collect his stinky clothes and put on a load of laundry. Riles gave me a couple of hugs in hopes of toning down my roar. It helped in that Trev made it out the door without a shower.
The boys report cards for mid term arrived last week. Rile's was pretty good with four As two B's and a C in Spanish. Better than getting an F in English like last year. At least the C is in a language that he doesn't speak. T man's was not so good. I picked up some one dollar bills at the store while buying milk. I did not get candy. I didn't want candy in the house. None of us need it.
Tom was not happy with my decision to give out money rather than candy. He was not happy with me last year. I gave out change and the kids loved it. I used to give out dollar bars of candy when the boys had those big boxes from scouts. Saved what didn't sell and used it for Halloween. They didn't do the candy boxes this year, trying to go healthier. We don't get many trick or treaters in our neighborhood. I am probably ahead of the game by just not doing candy and giving the money instead. Riles said one escorting parent thanked us.
It was a wet and rainy, dark night. Trev called saying he was going to his friends to trick or treat. I was not pleased. They do have a small daughter still in the proper age group. If they were escorting the child than it was acceptable, but he said he was borrowing a costume and going out with the big boys. I told Tom and he disapproved even more. Nothing good happens when teens roam free especially in costume when they feel protected by anonymity.
Tom says to call him back and tell him I am coming to get him. After this morning I know it will take a father's voice to get Trev to obey without a whole lot of whining. I tell Tom to make the call. He pulls out his cell and gets T on the other line. As I had prophesied, t wailed.
T wailed when I picked him up. I had spoiled his night. He had planned to hook up with other friends later at the park and compare hoards of candy. Now his best friend is from one high school and his other friends he planned to meet were from another. It was an awful night to be out. I just read trouble in every word T spoke. I picked up the phone and dialed his father. Trev made me hang up, he said Dad would only get mad at him. Then he whined some more. I dialed again. This time I put the phone on speaker. Tom told Trev to get in the car and stop whining this was his fathers decision not mine. Not quite true as we both were in agreement, but even though the trip home was probably eight minutes tops, I did not want to hear my 230 pound, six foot two inch child whine at me all the way home, while I drove, because we would not let him go get up to mischief on Halloween roaming the streets with a bunch of teenagers. It was silent in the car.
Teens aren't the only people roaming the streets on Halloween. The weirdos come out. Best to be safe at home. The neighborhood where I picked him up was loaded with parents and small children. The houses are expecting the hoards. I had to drive carefully until I got out of the neighborhood with children running out between parked cars. I saw from a post, the friend Trev had been planning to trick or treat with, his home had almost 300 children.
One of my friends told me the trick or treaters who really get her are the ones carrying the infant children. The infants are too young even to know what candy is. The moms are trick or treating for themselves. She had a friend suggested she keep teething biscuits for those children. The teething biscuits are individually wrapped and inexpensive. Maybe the moms will get the clue that Halloween trick or treating is for the small child not for the adult to get free candy. It is the same message Trev needs to get.
Next year he can have some friends over for a costume party or something. They can watch scary movies in the Man cave. Much more appropriate for their age and safer than roaming the streets like hooligans, frightening the little grandmas at the door expecting cute small children.
I was glad to have Trev home, though he went to his room and watched the computer, pouting. I didn't have a computer to pout over when I was too old to trick or treat. Or a cell phone to text my friends about how mean my parents are. Not that I noticed Trev doing that. I think he knew we were not out of line. We don't rope him in too often.
I doled out the dollar bills to Riley to answer the door if someone knocked. Riley tried to turn off the porch light so no one would come and he could keep the money. I told him he wouldn't get anything if I caught him turning the light off again. We had six trick or treaters. I definitely was ahead of the game this year. I would have spent more on candy and been stuck with all of us eating it.
Our only decorations were a ceramic pumpkin and a Halloween table cloth draped by the door. I lit a hurricane lamp and stuck it by the decorative pumpkin. We hadn't even carved pumpkins this year.
I might try buying some pumpkin so Riles can try making pumpkin pie from scratch just to say he did it. He has been asking for pumpkin pie every time we go to the store now that the season is upon us.
Riles asked for his Thanksgiving feast for his birthday. It falls on a weekday this year. I told Riles to invite a few friends over for a sleep over, an all night gaming night, on the weekend before, if he liked. He is dwelling on who to invite.
The boys report cards for mid term arrived last week. Rile's was pretty good with four As two B's and a C in Spanish. Better than getting an F in English like last year. At least the C is in a language that he doesn't speak. T man's was not so good. I picked up some one dollar bills at the store while buying milk. I did not get candy. I didn't want candy in the house. None of us need it.
Tom was not happy with my decision to give out money rather than candy. He was not happy with me last year. I gave out change and the kids loved it. I used to give out dollar bars of candy when the boys had those big boxes from scouts. Saved what didn't sell and used it for Halloween. They didn't do the candy boxes this year, trying to go healthier. We don't get many trick or treaters in our neighborhood. I am probably ahead of the game by just not doing candy and giving the money instead. Riles said one escorting parent thanked us.
It was a wet and rainy, dark night. Trev called saying he was going to his friends to trick or treat. I was not pleased. They do have a small daughter still in the proper age group. If they were escorting the child than it was acceptable, but he said he was borrowing a costume and going out with the big boys. I told Tom and he disapproved even more. Nothing good happens when teens roam free especially in costume when they feel protected by anonymity.
Tom says to call him back and tell him I am coming to get him. After this morning I know it will take a father's voice to get Trev to obey without a whole lot of whining. I tell Tom to make the call. He pulls out his cell and gets T on the other line. As I had prophesied, t wailed.
T wailed when I picked him up. I had spoiled his night. He had planned to hook up with other friends later at the park and compare hoards of candy. Now his best friend is from one high school and his other friends he planned to meet were from another. It was an awful night to be out. I just read trouble in every word T spoke. I picked up the phone and dialed his father. Trev made me hang up, he said Dad would only get mad at him. Then he whined some more. I dialed again. This time I put the phone on speaker. Tom told Trev to get in the car and stop whining this was his fathers decision not mine. Not quite true as we both were in agreement, but even though the trip home was probably eight minutes tops, I did not want to hear my 230 pound, six foot two inch child whine at me all the way home, while I drove, because we would not let him go get up to mischief on Halloween roaming the streets with a bunch of teenagers. It was silent in the car.
Teens aren't the only people roaming the streets on Halloween. The weirdos come out. Best to be safe at home. The neighborhood where I picked him up was loaded with parents and small children. The houses are expecting the hoards. I had to drive carefully until I got out of the neighborhood with children running out between parked cars. I saw from a post, the friend Trev had been planning to trick or treat with, his home had almost 300 children.
One of my friends told me the trick or treaters who really get her are the ones carrying the infant children. The infants are too young even to know what candy is. The moms are trick or treating for themselves. She had a friend suggested she keep teething biscuits for those children. The teething biscuits are individually wrapped and inexpensive. Maybe the moms will get the clue that Halloween trick or treating is for the small child not for the adult to get free candy. It is the same message Trev needs to get.
Next year he can have some friends over for a costume party or something. They can watch scary movies in the Man cave. Much more appropriate for their age and safer than roaming the streets like hooligans, frightening the little grandmas at the door expecting cute small children.
I was glad to have Trev home, though he went to his room and watched the computer, pouting. I didn't have a computer to pout over when I was too old to trick or treat. Or a cell phone to text my friends about how mean my parents are. Not that I noticed Trev doing that. I think he knew we were not out of line. We don't rope him in too often.
I doled out the dollar bills to Riley to answer the door if someone knocked. Riley tried to turn off the porch light so no one would come and he could keep the money. I told him he wouldn't get anything if I caught him turning the light off again. We had six trick or treaters. I definitely was ahead of the game this year. I would have spent more on candy and been stuck with all of us eating it.
Our only decorations were a ceramic pumpkin and a Halloween table cloth draped by the door. I lit a hurricane lamp and stuck it by the decorative pumpkin. We hadn't even carved pumpkins this year.
I might try buying some pumpkin so Riles can try making pumpkin pie from scratch just to say he did it. He has been asking for pumpkin pie every time we go to the store now that the season is upon us.
Riles asked for his Thanksgiving feast for his birthday. It falls on a weekday this year. I told Riles to invite a few friends over for a sleep over, an all night gaming night, on the weekend before, if he liked. He is dwelling on who to invite.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Diner with Family
My Step mom invited me to join her for a family dinner, family in the extended modern way of family these days. Though this family connection happened well over 50 years ago. I was Telling Riles about these family members he had not met and didn't know existed, somehow related all the same. It went something like this in our family tree.
My Grand mother was widowed when my dad was an infant. She married another widower with three children, 12 years later, making my dad part of an instant large family. Dad had Jim, Bill, and Sally as siblings. Dinner was with members of that branch of the family tree.
Cousin Angie who is close to us in age, got married this summer. I hadn't met the new beau, who I hear is wonderful. I missed the wedding but my sister T went. Angie's adult daughter and her new husband were at the dinner. Angie is the daughter of Uncle Jim.
Uncle Bill came to dinner. along with Tom H, who was the brother of my Aunt Sally's first husband. I explain the relationships to Riley. Aunt Sally's husband, also a Jim, died, but his brother Tom is really fun and runs in the art circles and comes to many of my step mom's art shows.
We went to Margaret's favorite restaurant. She has food issues and this restaurant understands her needs and brings her the dish she likes just the way she likes it. The food was delightful and the company was even more fun. I felt like I was at a great tennis match as my head turned from conversation to conversation, trying not to miss a word from anyone. I rarely get to see any of these people so it was special to have them all here in one place.
Not one person at the table is really related to me by blood, yet they are the cousins and Uncles I grew up with. Even margaret is not blood, but she is my family and dearly loved. They remember my dad and were his family and loved him. If anything, that family love and rememberance is enough to make them family to me.
I am sorry that my boys have no clue who these cousins and great uncles are. They are distant past, connected only by a marriage that occured over 50 years ago.
My Grand mother was widowed when my dad was an infant. She married another widower with three children, 12 years later, making my dad part of an instant large family. Dad had Jim, Bill, and Sally as siblings. Dinner was with members of that branch of the family tree.
Cousin Angie who is close to us in age, got married this summer. I hadn't met the new beau, who I hear is wonderful. I missed the wedding but my sister T went. Angie's adult daughter and her new husband were at the dinner. Angie is the daughter of Uncle Jim.
Uncle Bill came to dinner. along with Tom H, who was the brother of my Aunt Sally's first husband. I explain the relationships to Riley. Aunt Sally's husband, also a Jim, died, but his brother Tom is really fun and runs in the art circles and comes to many of my step mom's art shows.
We went to Margaret's favorite restaurant. She has food issues and this restaurant understands her needs and brings her the dish she likes just the way she likes it. The food was delightful and the company was even more fun. I felt like I was at a great tennis match as my head turned from conversation to conversation, trying not to miss a word from anyone. I rarely get to see any of these people so it was special to have them all here in one place.
Not one person at the table is really related to me by blood, yet they are the cousins and Uncles I grew up with. Even margaret is not blood, but she is my family and dearly loved. They remember my dad and were his family and loved him. If anything, that family love and rememberance is enough to make them family to me.
I am sorry that my boys have no clue who these cousins and great uncles are. They are distant past, connected only by a marriage that occured over 50 years ago.
Goodbye Dad
Everyone deals with pain and loss differently. I post about what happened last week to relieve my pain. My mom reads my posts and she is grieving. She doesn't want to be disturbed or bothered by anyone while she rattles around in a big empty house living with ghosts. So please respect her wishes of no calls. She has discovered e mail as I did, as a controlled outlet of emotion. The friends that give you distant hugs across vast space.
I post how Dad fasted Sunday night for a liver biopsy procedure on Monday a week ago. I grieve in my posts, spilling out my thoughts so I can let them go and have my friends and family console me in my pain . I showed up before the procedure started. I hadn't been invited, but I had seen my dad the Friday before and I also knew hospital time only too well. Mom might need a runner to do small errands or someone to just sit with her while we waited. I had been afraid that if they put him under for the procedure he might not wake up again. I wanted someone there with Mom. I was free and available. Mom had said she would be fine that she could handle it but this was different. She would not be fine.
Dad's arm was bothering him tremendously. He had been in pain for two months while the doctors tried to figure out what was wrong with his arm. Was it tendinitis or over exertions, in the end they decided it was nerve damage, symptomatic of the cancer. He was wheeled into the procedure room where he told the doctors he would not let them cut until the pain was gone from his arm. He did not want to hurt in two places. The doctors could not prescribe pain meds for his arm as they were not that kind of doctor. The procedure was canceled and arrangements were made to admit Dad into the ER for pain control.
We spent hours in the ER. Mom and Dad had arrived at the Hospital before 11:00am to prep for the 1:00pm surgery. He hadn't eaten or drunk anything since the night before. At 2:00 we were in the ER. When booking procedure rooms, schedules are adhered to. In the ER we waited in a small corner room hoping to get admitted to the hospital.
ERs are interesting places. There was a police guard on one of the rooms nearby. You could smell alcohol and hear someone yelling. Mom asked about the other room but of course the nurse just smiled and didn't say anything.
Our wish was that dad be admitted for pain management and while in the hospital all the tests that the doctor's wanted to do could be accomplished. It had been incredibly hard and exhausting for him to go back and forth from the house to make appointments. He hadn't been eating anything in a couple of weeks other than small meals of a few bites of crackers with some soft cheese or egg salad. T would bring broth that seemed to stay down easily, but he would only take a few sips. Bland food always, as his stomach was being pressed into half it's natural size by a huge tumor on his liver. The x ray at the beginning of the month had been a death knell.
Anything put into Dad's stomach had good odds of coming back up. In a month, since a vomiting episode, while at the beach, had landed him in the ER at the coast, Dad had lost 20 pounds. They sent him home with antacid and told him he should see his doctor when he got home. He didn't call his doctor. Instead he needed another ER visit the next weekend to the ER close to home for vomiting, again. We all came to see him. This ER took x rays showing the masses. They sent his records to his doctor and an appointment was scheduled for early that next week. The discharge nurse said she was putting urgent on his chart. The "C" word was mentioned, but tests were needed to confirm. Blood was drawn.
They did go to see the Doctor that week. The news was grim. Liver cancer, well established and spreading. A biopsy was needed to confirm what type of drugs would work most effectively. The biopsy was scheduled for another week out. Dad was fading before our eyes but that was the soonest they could get him in. I think the end result would have been the same regardless. Perhaps they were putting it off in hopes he died before they had to work with him.
His arm pain was growing and spreading to the shoulder. By the time the date of the biopsy Dad was an 8 out of 10 on the pain chart, he told the nurse. They were doling out pain meds like it was candy to a baby. We were all frustrated with the lack of pain control. Though when they did prescribe, Dad wasn't good about adhering to the schedule of dosages. He didn't like feeling groggy and fuzzy. As a result the pain and vomiting was not kept in control. He didn't like taking the pills all the time but had he, he might have been more comfortable, but it was already too late to change the outcome in the end. They found his white cell count elevated while in the ER, using the unidentified infection as the excuse to admit him..
He got his MRI on his arm and the biopsy, on Tuesday. I and my brother, got the privilege of walking Hoover the dog, so mom could spend more time at the hospital and not miss anything. Strangely the biopsy was inconclusive. They wanted to do it again. Dad was done with the hospital and wanted to go home. They had to keep him one extra day as he set off the heart monitor, after the biopsy procedure, when he tried to get up out of bed. We checked him out on Thursday.
Mom had an old wheel chair in the garage we used to get Dad to the front door from the driveway. My brother physically carried most of Dad's weight as they slowly climbed the stairs to his bedroom. I walked behind just in case. It was a scary process. Mom and I would not have been able to get him upstairs ourselves, he was that weak. He slept from exhaustion and residual IV pain killers they gave him in the hospital before we took him home. They also gave him a 12 hour pain killer. It had taken all day to get discharged on Thursday. It was 5:00 pm when we finally pulled in the driveway.
Mom had hand written prescriptions to take and fill at the pharmacy. I went with her. It took two hours to fill the prescriptions as a resident had signed the scripts and a real Doctor needed to approve them. These were some heavy drugs they wanted dad to take for the pain, in high concentrations. The insurance company baulked without the proper authorization. When I asked if we could just purchase the drugs ourselves, the bill was for several hundred dollars. Mom opted to wait while the pharmacist tried to track down a doctor for authorization and get insurance to approve payment. This all was to be free on medicare, if we worked with the system, so we waited on the system. Two hours later we were handed the drugs to take home. We were exhausted and it was late. Mom was going into a marathon already tired.
G slept in the room next to Dad. I slept on the couch in the living room. The bathroom upstairs was set up for dad with a special toilet seat. All his things were just the way he liked them. I didn't want to disturb anyone if I got up in the night. with so many people in the house it is easy to wake everyone from well needed sleep, especially with the creaky floor boards of the upstairs hallway. I could use the powder room downstairs without disturbing anything or anyone. In the morning I showered in Mom's bathroom after everyone was awake. G was waiting for the hospis people then he needed to head home. He would come back in a couple of days.
The Hospis people came Friday morning at 10:00 am to introduce themselves. Having done this before, I knew most of the work would fall to Mom and who ever was helping her. I had brought a suitcase and clothes for a weekend just in case, when I came down the day before. Hospis provides you with everything you need but they do not provide the people to help 24/7. The getting up with the patient and giving the meds when prescribed all falls on the family support. One pain med was to be given every hour. It is grueling as the patient needs more attention before the end.
The body purges itself and this purging takes time. Dad was up every half hour vomiting or going to the bathroom that Friday night. Mom wanted to be up when he was, so the staggering of the schedule didn't work as she wouldn't sleep through , though you really couldn't, as you could hear Dad in the bathroom being violently ill. We stood outside the door waiting for him to be done and escort his shaking body back to bed. At some point he was so exhausted he was willing just to vomit into a bowl while sitting on the side of the bed. I had asked for a bed side commode to be deliver but the service hadn't gotten to us before 9:00pm so we told them we were going to bed and deliver it in the morning. Dad could have used that commode that first night. The bathroom toilet was a long walk at 30 feet away. Even with a walker to help, every time he got up we were there to balance him.
Mom put in several calls to Hospis asking for help as the night ground on. Dad's pain was back. He didn't like the meds they sent. Anything he took orally was being vomited up, in a dark black bile, as his body purged. She tried a suppository, which we thought worked for about an hour. Somewhere around 5:00am, Mom and Dad had the talk about going to the Hospis facility. She called and arranged a pick up for 7:30 am. A transport ambulance arrived right on schedule with two very nice EMTs. They put Dad in a special chair to get him downstairs where they switched him over to a gurney for transportation in the van. Mom would have collapsed if she had kept going the way she was.
We were warned that Hospis would drug him into an induced coma, but Dad was lucid and as a result they only made him comfortable with regular shots of pain killers, per his request, which made him marginally comfortable. My man says he wants to be awake and aware at the time of his death. He thinks Dad was of a similar bent. Dad didn't want to be drugged into oblivion, he just wanted the pain under control.
The Hospic facility checked him in and made him as comfortable as possible. By this time there was no more getting out of bed to use the bathroom. Dad was fading fast. It was Saturday morning. I wonder if that commode had arrived on time if we could have lasted one more day at home, but it was hopeless the way that house was set up. The bathroom seemed miles away every time Dad got up. There are steps everywhere. Mom couldn't stand seeing Dad in pain and couldn't sleep when he was awake or up. She also seemed to be the only one who knew how to make him as comfortable as possible with the ice packs and the covers on the bed, and the pillows just so. It was painful to watch. She was melting with exhaustion caring for Dad 24/7 with no reprieve.
My niece was having a big birthday weekend with a dozen friends over for a sleep over. I stopped over to see them after leaving hospis with dad checked in. I also called my brother and told him he should come back now, earlier than planned.
I needed to give my mom some space from me and give her personal time with dad alone. Give her an empty house for a while. I watched my nephew so my sister T could run over and see Dad. I also made arrangements to stay in town one more night but give mom space. Mom called later though and told me the house was big and empty. I came back and spent the night at her house. Getting up early to go back and visit Dad first thing Sunday morning.
We knew the time would not be long. The Hospis nurse on Friday had warned us. She said he was well hydrated from the hospital IV's. His body had to purge all that moisture. It would be 3 to 5 days.
Dad was strong. It would take time. I headed home on Sunday to see my family, thinking I would go back on Monday.
Monday morning Mom left me a message on my phone that Dad had passed away at 10:34 am. She had been with him. The nurse had told her it would be soon, probably that afternoon, as she was leaving after her morning visit. She turned around and went back in to Dad's room telling him she would sit with him a little longer. He took a breath and was gone.
The rains started this weekend. I felt it was God crying over Dad's pain. Dad wanted it over and done with. "This is bull shit" he whispered as he got sicker and sicker Friday night and the wee hours of the morning on Saturday. His throat was so torn and hurting from the vomiting he could barely whisper. Sunday he told me in a whisper "I want it over with".
" I know Dad, but it is out of my hands." I said. I asked the staff about Death with dignity but he was passed that window. That takes two doctors, three days, and a battery of questions Dad couldn't speak to answer, then drinking a cup full of some concoction, when he can't even swallow his own meds anymore. The rule is he would have to administer the drugs himself off site.
Monday morning he got his wish and Mom was with him. Now, if only mom can find peace after losing the man she has lived with for the last 44 years. That is going to be another long trial. Right now she wants to be left alone in her grief. She will come out of hiding, but it will take time. She has seen enough of me to last her a while. Death is a messy business.
I post how Dad fasted Sunday night for a liver biopsy procedure on Monday a week ago. I grieve in my posts, spilling out my thoughts so I can let them go and have my friends and family console me in my pain . I showed up before the procedure started. I hadn't been invited, but I had seen my dad the Friday before and I also knew hospital time only too well. Mom might need a runner to do small errands or someone to just sit with her while we waited. I had been afraid that if they put him under for the procedure he might not wake up again. I wanted someone there with Mom. I was free and available. Mom had said she would be fine that she could handle it but this was different. She would not be fine.
Dad's arm was bothering him tremendously. He had been in pain for two months while the doctors tried to figure out what was wrong with his arm. Was it tendinitis or over exertions, in the end they decided it was nerve damage, symptomatic of the cancer. He was wheeled into the procedure room where he told the doctors he would not let them cut until the pain was gone from his arm. He did not want to hurt in two places. The doctors could not prescribe pain meds for his arm as they were not that kind of doctor. The procedure was canceled and arrangements were made to admit Dad into the ER for pain control.
We spent hours in the ER. Mom and Dad had arrived at the Hospital before 11:00am to prep for the 1:00pm surgery. He hadn't eaten or drunk anything since the night before. At 2:00 we were in the ER. When booking procedure rooms, schedules are adhered to. In the ER we waited in a small corner room hoping to get admitted to the hospital.
ERs are interesting places. There was a police guard on one of the rooms nearby. You could smell alcohol and hear someone yelling. Mom asked about the other room but of course the nurse just smiled and didn't say anything.
Our wish was that dad be admitted for pain management and while in the hospital all the tests that the doctor's wanted to do could be accomplished. It had been incredibly hard and exhausting for him to go back and forth from the house to make appointments. He hadn't been eating anything in a couple of weeks other than small meals of a few bites of crackers with some soft cheese or egg salad. T would bring broth that seemed to stay down easily, but he would only take a few sips. Bland food always, as his stomach was being pressed into half it's natural size by a huge tumor on his liver. The x ray at the beginning of the month had been a death knell.
Anything put into Dad's stomach had good odds of coming back up. In a month, since a vomiting episode, while at the beach, had landed him in the ER at the coast, Dad had lost 20 pounds. They sent him home with antacid and told him he should see his doctor when he got home. He didn't call his doctor. Instead he needed another ER visit the next weekend to the ER close to home for vomiting, again. We all came to see him. This ER took x rays showing the masses. They sent his records to his doctor and an appointment was scheduled for early that next week. The discharge nurse said she was putting urgent on his chart. The "C" word was mentioned, but tests were needed to confirm. Blood was drawn.
They did go to see the Doctor that week. The news was grim. Liver cancer, well established and spreading. A biopsy was needed to confirm what type of drugs would work most effectively. The biopsy was scheduled for another week out. Dad was fading before our eyes but that was the soonest they could get him in. I think the end result would have been the same regardless. Perhaps they were putting it off in hopes he died before they had to work with him.
His arm pain was growing and spreading to the shoulder. By the time the date of the biopsy Dad was an 8 out of 10 on the pain chart, he told the nurse. They were doling out pain meds like it was candy to a baby. We were all frustrated with the lack of pain control. Though when they did prescribe, Dad wasn't good about adhering to the schedule of dosages. He didn't like feeling groggy and fuzzy. As a result the pain and vomiting was not kept in control. He didn't like taking the pills all the time but had he, he might have been more comfortable, but it was already too late to change the outcome in the end. They found his white cell count elevated while in the ER, using the unidentified infection as the excuse to admit him..
He got his MRI on his arm and the biopsy, on Tuesday. I and my brother, got the privilege of walking Hoover the dog, so mom could spend more time at the hospital and not miss anything. Strangely the biopsy was inconclusive. They wanted to do it again. Dad was done with the hospital and wanted to go home. They had to keep him one extra day as he set off the heart monitor, after the biopsy procedure, when he tried to get up out of bed. We checked him out on Thursday.
Mom had an old wheel chair in the garage we used to get Dad to the front door from the driveway. My brother physically carried most of Dad's weight as they slowly climbed the stairs to his bedroom. I walked behind just in case. It was a scary process. Mom and I would not have been able to get him upstairs ourselves, he was that weak. He slept from exhaustion and residual IV pain killers they gave him in the hospital before we took him home. They also gave him a 12 hour pain killer. It had taken all day to get discharged on Thursday. It was 5:00 pm when we finally pulled in the driveway.
Mom had hand written prescriptions to take and fill at the pharmacy. I went with her. It took two hours to fill the prescriptions as a resident had signed the scripts and a real Doctor needed to approve them. These were some heavy drugs they wanted dad to take for the pain, in high concentrations. The insurance company baulked without the proper authorization. When I asked if we could just purchase the drugs ourselves, the bill was for several hundred dollars. Mom opted to wait while the pharmacist tried to track down a doctor for authorization and get insurance to approve payment. This all was to be free on medicare, if we worked with the system, so we waited on the system. Two hours later we were handed the drugs to take home. We were exhausted and it was late. Mom was going into a marathon already tired.
G slept in the room next to Dad. I slept on the couch in the living room. The bathroom upstairs was set up for dad with a special toilet seat. All his things were just the way he liked them. I didn't want to disturb anyone if I got up in the night. with so many people in the house it is easy to wake everyone from well needed sleep, especially with the creaky floor boards of the upstairs hallway. I could use the powder room downstairs without disturbing anything or anyone. In the morning I showered in Mom's bathroom after everyone was awake. G was waiting for the hospis people then he needed to head home. He would come back in a couple of days.
The Hospis people came Friday morning at 10:00 am to introduce themselves. Having done this before, I knew most of the work would fall to Mom and who ever was helping her. I had brought a suitcase and clothes for a weekend just in case, when I came down the day before. Hospis provides you with everything you need but they do not provide the people to help 24/7. The getting up with the patient and giving the meds when prescribed all falls on the family support. One pain med was to be given every hour. It is grueling as the patient needs more attention before the end.
The body purges itself and this purging takes time. Dad was up every half hour vomiting or going to the bathroom that Friday night. Mom wanted to be up when he was, so the staggering of the schedule didn't work as she wouldn't sleep through , though you really couldn't, as you could hear Dad in the bathroom being violently ill. We stood outside the door waiting for him to be done and escort his shaking body back to bed. At some point he was so exhausted he was willing just to vomit into a bowl while sitting on the side of the bed. I had asked for a bed side commode to be deliver but the service hadn't gotten to us before 9:00pm so we told them we were going to bed and deliver it in the morning. Dad could have used that commode that first night. The bathroom toilet was a long walk at 30 feet away. Even with a walker to help, every time he got up we were there to balance him.
Mom put in several calls to Hospis asking for help as the night ground on. Dad's pain was back. He didn't like the meds they sent. Anything he took orally was being vomited up, in a dark black bile, as his body purged. She tried a suppository, which we thought worked for about an hour. Somewhere around 5:00am, Mom and Dad had the talk about going to the Hospis facility. She called and arranged a pick up for 7:30 am. A transport ambulance arrived right on schedule with two very nice EMTs. They put Dad in a special chair to get him downstairs where they switched him over to a gurney for transportation in the van. Mom would have collapsed if she had kept going the way she was.
We were warned that Hospis would drug him into an induced coma, but Dad was lucid and as a result they only made him comfortable with regular shots of pain killers, per his request, which made him marginally comfortable. My man says he wants to be awake and aware at the time of his death. He thinks Dad was of a similar bent. Dad didn't want to be drugged into oblivion, he just wanted the pain under control.
The Hospic facility checked him in and made him as comfortable as possible. By this time there was no more getting out of bed to use the bathroom. Dad was fading fast. It was Saturday morning. I wonder if that commode had arrived on time if we could have lasted one more day at home, but it was hopeless the way that house was set up. The bathroom seemed miles away every time Dad got up. There are steps everywhere. Mom couldn't stand seeing Dad in pain and couldn't sleep when he was awake or up. She also seemed to be the only one who knew how to make him as comfortable as possible with the ice packs and the covers on the bed, and the pillows just so. It was painful to watch. She was melting with exhaustion caring for Dad 24/7 with no reprieve.
My niece was having a big birthday weekend with a dozen friends over for a sleep over. I stopped over to see them after leaving hospis with dad checked in. I also called my brother and told him he should come back now, earlier than planned.
I needed to give my mom some space from me and give her personal time with dad alone. Give her an empty house for a while. I watched my nephew so my sister T could run over and see Dad. I also made arrangements to stay in town one more night but give mom space. Mom called later though and told me the house was big and empty. I came back and spent the night at her house. Getting up early to go back and visit Dad first thing Sunday morning.
We knew the time would not be long. The Hospis nurse on Friday had warned us. She said he was well hydrated from the hospital IV's. His body had to purge all that moisture. It would be 3 to 5 days.
Dad was strong. It would take time. I headed home on Sunday to see my family, thinking I would go back on Monday.
Monday morning Mom left me a message on my phone that Dad had passed away at 10:34 am. She had been with him. The nurse had told her it would be soon, probably that afternoon, as she was leaving after her morning visit. She turned around and went back in to Dad's room telling him she would sit with him a little longer. He took a breath and was gone.
The rains started this weekend. I felt it was God crying over Dad's pain. Dad wanted it over and done with. "This is bull shit" he whispered as he got sicker and sicker Friday night and the wee hours of the morning on Saturday. His throat was so torn and hurting from the vomiting he could barely whisper. Sunday he told me in a whisper "I want it over with".
" I know Dad, but it is out of my hands." I said. I asked the staff about Death with dignity but he was passed that window. That takes two doctors, three days, and a battery of questions Dad couldn't speak to answer, then drinking a cup full of some concoction, when he can't even swallow his own meds anymore. The rule is he would have to administer the drugs himself off site.
Monday morning he got his wish and Mom was with him. Now, if only mom can find peace after losing the man she has lived with for the last 44 years. That is going to be another long trial. Right now she wants to be left alone in her grief. She will come out of hiding, but it will take time. She has seen enough of me to last her a while. Death is a messy business.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Go Beavs
Tom took us all to Corvallis to the OSU WSU game. He had friends down for a golf and game weekend but took time out to give us a tour of the campus. He would love to have the boys at Corvallis. While we ordered an early lunch at a food stand, he went to buy four tickets for us. He came back with corner end zone seats in the visitors section. When we got there the visitor section didn't matter. Everyone was in Orange. Maybe 1% of the whole stadium were cougars. It was pretty intimidating. Tom said we were lucky to get seats at all as he looked around at the full stadium. Good thing we came early to the campus to do the tour and get the tickets for the game. The stadium was almost fully sold out with a record breaking crowd, over 47,000 all in orange. I had on my requisite orange vest.
I liked our seats. We were in the end corner so the loud sounds wafted away from us over our heads. the sound was manageable with ear plugs, which I brought in the appropriate orange color. I could even hear conversations and talk without screaming. It wasn't quite a dead zone of noise but perfect for me. The view is amazing from the end zone as you can see all the players make their moves, which I appreciated as the Stadium big screen was behind and above us so we had to crane our bodies and necks around to watch the replays.
Of course being at a public event in sports, I seem to be a magnet for the weirdos. The family sitting next to me seemed fine at first. Father, eight year old son, and mother . She even had on a hat that I wanted, a cowboy hat all in orange with rhinestone sequins all over it. Perfect for the game without being a baseball hat. We had spent an hour before the game on the hunt for that perfect hat only to find that it was sold in the student store over three years ago. The mom had even graduated from Southern Oregon, the school I wanted to look at for Riley. She told me it is a hippie party school. I have now heard that from several sources. I am beginning to believe that it might not be the best choice.
We were sitting watching the game when the mom, who initially seemed very nice, about five years younger than me, pretty brunette, drops a nude picture of a man on the ground and points to it, "Look at that! Oh my!". I ignore it so she puts it away. She does it again and I ask her to stop it. A third time she drops the frontal nude photo of the man on the ground. This time I step on the picture and shove it under the seats with my shoe, towards Tom so she can't get it back. What is with people these days? Tom said maybe she was trying to see if we'd be interested in something more exciting. I should take it as a compliment that she found us attractive. She picked the wrong people. I was pleasant and ignored her the rest of the game. Luckily the game was exciting and fun. She was easy to ignore. They left before the game ended.
But what is it with me when I go to these events and the wackos of society have to sit next to me. Last time I went to a Beaver game the man behind me dropped his peanut shells into the hood of my coat, like it was his personal garbage receptacle. Though to give him the benefit of the doubt, he was just flicking them to the ground everywhere and some landed on me, all game long. Then there was the insensitive hick at Charlotte who kept blowing smoke at the cancer children on purpose and flicking cigarette buts at the one Hispanic family on the trip until the family got up and left.
Tom says the club seats he had at the last game were awesome. I hate to sound spoiled but I swear I may only go to another game if we fork over the money for the really good seats and leave the wackos in the cheap seats, not that these seats were cheap, buying them on game day from scalpers Tom payed $30 a ticket above face value of $50 each. Besides there are wackos at every level of society. I just wish they would go sit by someone else.
The game ended 19 to 6. Defense prevented WSU from scoring any significant points. The Beaver defense made a couple of interceptions, but the real scoring didn't happen until the second half. A close game is so much more exciting to watch. Tom was afraid to get up and go to the bathroom until Oregon State was two touchdowns ahead. He was afraid he might miss something.
I liked our seats. We were in the end corner so the loud sounds wafted away from us over our heads. the sound was manageable with ear plugs, which I brought in the appropriate orange color. I could even hear conversations and talk without screaming. It wasn't quite a dead zone of noise but perfect for me. The view is amazing from the end zone as you can see all the players make their moves, which I appreciated as the Stadium big screen was behind and above us so we had to crane our bodies and necks around to watch the replays.
Of course being at a public event in sports, I seem to be a magnet for the weirdos. The family sitting next to me seemed fine at first. Father, eight year old son, and mother . She even had on a hat that I wanted, a cowboy hat all in orange with rhinestone sequins all over it. Perfect for the game without being a baseball hat. We had spent an hour before the game on the hunt for that perfect hat only to find that it was sold in the student store over three years ago. The mom had even graduated from Southern Oregon, the school I wanted to look at for Riley. She told me it is a hippie party school. I have now heard that from several sources. I am beginning to believe that it might not be the best choice.
We were sitting watching the game when the mom, who initially seemed very nice, about five years younger than me, pretty brunette, drops a nude picture of a man on the ground and points to it, "Look at that! Oh my!". I ignore it so she puts it away. She does it again and I ask her to stop it. A third time she drops the frontal nude photo of the man on the ground. This time I step on the picture and shove it under the seats with my shoe, towards Tom so she can't get it back. What is with people these days? Tom said maybe she was trying to see if we'd be interested in something more exciting. I should take it as a compliment that she found us attractive. She picked the wrong people. I was pleasant and ignored her the rest of the game. Luckily the game was exciting and fun. She was easy to ignore. They left before the game ended.
But what is it with me when I go to these events and the wackos of society have to sit next to me. Last time I went to a Beaver game the man behind me dropped his peanut shells into the hood of my coat, like it was his personal garbage receptacle. Though to give him the benefit of the doubt, he was just flicking them to the ground everywhere and some landed on me, all game long. Then there was the insensitive hick at Charlotte who kept blowing smoke at the cancer children on purpose and flicking cigarette buts at the one Hispanic family on the trip until the family got up and left.
Tom says the club seats he had at the last game were awesome. I hate to sound spoiled but I swear I may only go to another game if we fork over the money for the really good seats and leave the wackos in the cheap seats, not that these seats were cheap, buying them on game day from scalpers Tom payed $30 a ticket above face value of $50 each. Besides there are wackos at every level of society. I just wish they would go sit by someone else.
The game ended 19 to 6. Defense prevented WSU from scoring any significant points. The Beaver defense made a couple of interceptions, but the real scoring didn't happen until the second half. A close game is so much more exciting to watch. Tom was afraid to get up and go to the bathroom until Oregon State was two touchdowns ahead. He was afraid he might miss something.
Friday, October 5, 2012
Staining the house
I had power washed the south wall but felt It might need more. Tom hadn't wanted me to touch the south side at all so he wasn't really happy with me. Though it was a project that needed to be done we had both agreed. I didn't want to go any longer without addressing the south wall before winter. Tom wanted to ignore it one more winter. He is thinking of ripping it down and starting over with new siding. I wanted to patch and repaint as needed. It is cedar. Tom re caulked the windows after I spent a day removing the old caulk. When I power washed, water seeped in to the inside so we knew the caulk needed to be redone. I had caulked last winter over the old stuff, which was not sufficient. I needed to rip out everything and start fresh.
I bought caulk filler tubing to push into the larger voids and the paintable waterproof exterior caulk to go on top. Products have improved over the years also, so I expect good results from this new stuff. Tom wanted to put the caulk on just to make sure it had good coverage and looked good. End result will be successful if we stay dry inside this winter.
Tom had decided that the solid stain was going to work to cover the layers of old stain color. The house would be sealed for the winter, no need to completely remove the old stains. I had cheaply bought us time perhaps we could live with the siding forever. I finally realized why I couldn't seem to match the paint chips coming off the house or the colors on the house with any one color of new stain. The house has several different stains on it from over time. I count at least three stain colors. So we go solid stain and cover it all, but try and match the main body of the house since we are only doing the one problem wall.
Tom always complains that I ask his advice and don't take it, when I am doing projects. So this time I set my heart firm and what ever color he wanted I would go with. I did it on the deck color and on the house. The final colors are all his choosing. It is a close match to what we need on the house, but I would have chosen a slightly different color on both the deck and the house had I not had to share opinions. Tom admitted on the deck after we were three quarters done he would have liked the other color also. In ten years we can change it.
Our next discussion was on how to put the stain on the two story building with lots of windows. I wanted to use a brush and rollers. Tom wanted to rent scaffolding and a paint sprayer. Our last house the guy worked from a ladder. Three quarters of this house is easily accessible from below. I priced out the rental equipment as I picked up the paint. $79 for the scaffolding for the week and $91 for the paint sprayer for the day. He might want two days knowing Tom. He might decide to do more once he got started and had the tools in hand. Plus tax we were looking at $300 in equipment just for one wall potentially. I told him we could probably hire someone at that price. He said call around and see.
I called a paint store and asked for names. The first number recommended didn't answer. The second number wasn't available for two weeks. He recommended the first guy. I told him that number didn't answer. The second guy gave me the first guys private cell number. I called and got an answer this time. He could be out in half an hour and was available for a one day job.
He came and looked at the project. He said $600 and he would prime first. Tom and I looked at each other. This was a stain, I didn't want primer. It is supposed to be perfect as is. Besides we just want a stop gap not a huge production. I said Tom could do it himself for $300. The guy said if all we wanted was the stain put on he would do it for $300. It would take about an hour and a half with his crew of two other guys. They would use ladders and roll it on the way I liked. He didn't like sprayers. Tom and I leaped at the price and I leaped at the fact it would be rolled on, not sprayed. Spray is a messy business.
He went away and came back at 3:30 with two more guys. They put up their ladders and their drop cloths. By 5:00 they were done. No mess no bother. $300 cash exchanged hands and Tom and I were in a happy place. The painters were happy with a quick job and $300.
I got to see the end of Trevor's football game. All in an afternoon. Though next time I will probably go with my paint choices after consulting Tom. Now I have to wait ten years before the color needs changing again. My halo is glowing but I don't think Tom sees it. (wink)
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Reunion
Fun Fun Fun. a year ago my old roommate and I talked about attending our 25th. We booked a non refundable hotel with two rooms. Now we could not cancel, even if we wanted too. I wanted to take Riles to see the campus.He is a Junior now and should be looking at his options. I really should have taken him to several schools this summer.
Another friend of ours heard we were going and I told her where we were staying. She booked the same hotel. We had a blast. It was all about reminiscing about the good old days on campus. Seeing the campus and all the changes that have occurred in 25 years.
The drive over went fast. We stopped for a nice dinner along the way. Riles refused to drive. I did most of the driving until my leg got soar after 4 hours.I made good time. In the middle of no where you can go 80 pretty easily without realizing it. At dinner my roommate, who had taken the train to my house so she could ride with us, told me that her son had googled my boys and I need to put nick names on them in my blog or they will never find work. So Tman and Riles it is.
We stopped at a rest area for me to stretch my legs and get someone else to drive the last bit. LL agreed to drive because riles wouldn't. The problem was she couldn't talk and drive without slowing down. All that good time I made was lost. We had trucks passing us on the freeway. She wasn't much better than if Riles had been driving. We finally got to Walla Walla. It was almost 9;00 pm. We had started the trip by picking Riles up after school at 2:30pm. Long drive
Our other friend E was waiting for us. She had arrived hours earlier and been able to attend some of the evening events. She works in the Seattle area but has family in the Walla Walla area, as a result she had been back before.
We went across the street to the local restaurant. They were locking up but agreed to let us in as their last customers. We ordered appetizers and one round of drinks to unwind from the road trip. It was so much fun talking.
The next morning we caught a student led tour of the school. Our guide was wonderful. He got us into our old dorm area, even though we had been instructed that the dorms were off limits for student privacy. Rules were meant to be bent a little. After all we, the alumni, paid for most of the remodeling we were witness too. There had been a lot of remodeling over 25 years.
Riles favorite was Sherwood center with the 110 foot climbing wall, sixty feet tall. designed by the REI architect. At 3:30 it would be open for climbing. Riles was there waiting at 3:30. E took him as LL and I were at a wine tasting room downtown sampling the selection. E didn't drink so she was fine laughing at us and then pretending to be Riles guardian so he could sign in and start watching the safety video for the climbing wall. By the time we walked back to campus with our bottles of wine Riles was just getting his gear on and heading to his first climb.
The first wall he aced in moments. Just a regular vertical assent. The next two climbs got progressively more difficult with the wall tipped out so he had to carry more of his weight on his biceps.. By the time he was done he said his arms were numb and exhausted. He loved it and just glowed with happiness. Honestly he was awesome all day. Hanging with a bunch of parents and not whining or complaining.
We picked up a couple of books at the bookstore in the morning before the tour and anytime he wanted to tune out he would just open "A hitch hiker's guide to the galaxy" and ignore us in a quiet corner or under a tree while we talked and laughed and admired all the changes to the campus.
Though how could you not love one of the most prestigious and perfect and most expensive colleges in the country. Whitman can do no wrong. Nestled in the lovely quaint town of Walla Walla in the middle of Wheat fields and grape groves for as far as the Eagle flies. The whole college population is smaller than a city high school.. It is warm fuzzy and nurturing.
Our student guide tracked down a teacher in the English department who does tea ceremonies. He did an impromptu Japanese tea service lesson for us that was amazing. The calm presentation after all our rushing around, how the bowl seemed to float out there in the air all on its own as he held it in front of himself and walked the tea bowl to us. The professor was the same professor who had just started his career when we were at Whitman. Time had left him virtually unchanged in the slow back waters of the college.
At 1:00 pm, we were to have a group picture taken on the stairs of the administration building. We received our numbers and got in the photo group of about 100 people . I was surprised at how old everyone looked. I asked Riley if LL and I looked that old and he responded with "You are the youngest one's up there by far". What a wonderful son I have. I turned to LL and asked what was with all the small children. LL and I started late having our children I had thought. There were people with babies and small children running around in our class. Some were adoption children you could tell by ethnicity, but the baby surprised me. We are too old for having babies. LL leans over to me and whispers "second marriages". We giggled.
That night there was a banquette for our graduation group at the hotel down town where we had held many a dance function with our sorority, which is now folded and gone from campus. Greek was not heavily pushed on campus, it was more of a social organization you could join, and pretty laid back, but then maybe that is why our house failed. Maybe we were a bit too laid back .We didn't fight heavily for its survival. My friends and I were more GDI (God Damn Independent) at heart, feet on both sides of the fence
Afew of our friends did not attend the reunion as they said they were already in contact with everyone they wanted to see. That may be true. In my facebook I have more college friends than I recognized attending the reunion. I maybe remembered half a dozen of the people there, while the Whitties I like to play and party with are in my face book but not at the reunion. Thank goodness a few old friends did show up as it was a long way to come not to see anyone we knew and wanted to see and hadn't seen in a while.
People came up to say hi to me and I would have to lean over and whisper to E or LL "How do I know this person?" I am so bad with names and faces. Riley made the wise decision of staying at the hotel to read his book rather than attend the banquette. I brought him home a late dinner afterwards. The hotel staff boxed up his dinner for me. $43 for a slice of lasagna. I did think the banquette was a bit pricey. I split a bottle of wine with another couple at the table. The hotel charged me $40 for a bottle of average table wine.
I was not impressed with the wine selections when we did the wine tasting either. For all the hype Walla Walla gets I think we fell into a tourist trap. But it was all in fun. And when on vacation you have to splurge a bit and have fun. We had a blast. My gut hurts from soar muscles from laughing. I have blisters on my feet from walking the campus in pretty impractical sandals. I have a wonderful glow from visiting my fantasy land. the sun shone the weather was perfect, my friends were all having fun with me. A few dear people I never get to see, I got to spend quality time with. Riles was wonderful and polite and easy. I showed him off with pride.
I have set the bench high by showing Riles such a perfect college first. Now he needs to motivate and start applying and see where he ends up. I gave Tom the instructions that he had better take the boys to OSU and give a glamorous tour of his campus if he wants to motivate them in his preferred Alma Marta's direction. I have to admit choosing a school for an incredible climbing wall, even if it is the biggest indoor climbing wall in North America, and designed by a preeminent architect, is not really a good reason to go there. Now I am back to the real world.
Another friend of ours heard we were going and I told her where we were staying. She booked the same hotel. We had a blast. It was all about reminiscing about the good old days on campus. Seeing the campus and all the changes that have occurred in 25 years.
The drive over went fast. We stopped for a nice dinner along the way. Riles refused to drive. I did most of the driving until my leg got soar after 4 hours.I made good time. In the middle of no where you can go 80 pretty easily without realizing it. At dinner my roommate, who had taken the train to my house so she could ride with us, told me that her son had googled my boys and I need to put nick names on them in my blog or they will never find work. So Tman and Riles it is.
We stopped at a rest area for me to stretch my legs and get someone else to drive the last bit. LL agreed to drive because riles wouldn't. The problem was she couldn't talk and drive without slowing down. All that good time I made was lost. We had trucks passing us on the freeway. She wasn't much better than if Riles had been driving. We finally got to Walla Walla. It was almost 9;00 pm. We had started the trip by picking Riles up after school at 2:30pm. Long drive
Our other friend E was waiting for us. She had arrived hours earlier and been able to attend some of the evening events. She works in the Seattle area but has family in the Walla Walla area, as a result she had been back before.
We went across the street to the local restaurant. They were locking up but agreed to let us in as their last customers. We ordered appetizers and one round of drinks to unwind from the road trip. It was so much fun talking.
The next morning we caught a student led tour of the school. Our guide was wonderful. He got us into our old dorm area, even though we had been instructed that the dorms were off limits for student privacy. Rules were meant to be bent a little. After all we, the alumni, paid for most of the remodeling we were witness too. There had been a lot of remodeling over 25 years.
Riles favorite was Sherwood center with the 110 foot climbing wall, sixty feet tall. designed by the REI architect. At 3:30 it would be open for climbing. Riles was there waiting at 3:30. E took him as LL and I were at a wine tasting room downtown sampling the selection. E didn't drink so she was fine laughing at us and then pretending to be Riles guardian so he could sign in and start watching the safety video for the climbing wall. By the time we walked back to campus with our bottles of wine Riles was just getting his gear on and heading to his first climb.
The first wall he aced in moments. Just a regular vertical assent. The next two climbs got progressively more difficult with the wall tipped out so he had to carry more of his weight on his biceps.. By the time he was done he said his arms were numb and exhausted. He loved it and just glowed with happiness. Honestly he was awesome all day. Hanging with a bunch of parents and not whining or complaining.
We picked up a couple of books at the bookstore in the morning before the tour and anytime he wanted to tune out he would just open "A hitch hiker's guide to the galaxy" and ignore us in a quiet corner or under a tree while we talked and laughed and admired all the changes to the campus.
Though how could you not love one of the most prestigious and perfect and most expensive colleges in the country. Whitman can do no wrong. Nestled in the lovely quaint town of Walla Walla in the middle of Wheat fields and grape groves for as far as the Eagle flies. The whole college population is smaller than a city high school.. It is warm fuzzy and nurturing.
Our student guide tracked down a teacher in the English department who does tea ceremonies. He did an impromptu Japanese tea service lesson for us that was amazing. The calm presentation after all our rushing around, how the bowl seemed to float out there in the air all on its own as he held it in front of himself and walked the tea bowl to us. The professor was the same professor who had just started his career when we were at Whitman. Time had left him virtually unchanged in the slow back waters of the college.
At 1:00 pm, we were to have a group picture taken on the stairs of the administration building. We received our numbers and got in the photo group of about 100 people . I was surprised at how old everyone looked. I asked Riley if LL and I looked that old and he responded with "You are the youngest one's up there by far". What a wonderful son I have. I turned to LL and asked what was with all the small children. LL and I started late having our children I had thought. There were people with babies and small children running around in our class. Some were adoption children you could tell by ethnicity, but the baby surprised me. We are too old for having babies. LL leans over to me and whispers "second marriages". We giggled.
That night there was a banquette for our graduation group at the hotel down town where we had held many a dance function with our sorority, which is now folded and gone from campus. Greek was not heavily pushed on campus, it was more of a social organization you could join, and pretty laid back, but then maybe that is why our house failed. Maybe we were a bit too laid back .We didn't fight heavily for its survival. My friends and I were more GDI (God Damn Independent) at heart, feet on both sides of the fence
Afew of our friends did not attend the reunion as they said they were already in contact with everyone they wanted to see. That may be true. In my facebook I have more college friends than I recognized attending the reunion. I maybe remembered half a dozen of the people there, while the Whitties I like to play and party with are in my face book but not at the reunion. Thank goodness a few old friends did show up as it was a long way to come not to see anyone we knew and wanted to see and hadn't seen in a while.
People came up to say hi to me and I would have to lean over and whisper to E or LL "How do I know this person?" I am so bad with names and faces. Riley made the wise decision of staying at the hotel to read his book rather than attend the banquette. I brought him home a late dinner afterwards. The hotel staff boxed up his dinner for me. $43 for a slice of lasagna. I did think the banquette was a bit pricey. I split a bottle of wine with another couple at the table. The hotel charged me $40 for a bottle of average table wine.
I was not impressed with the wine selections when we did the wine tasting either. For all the hype Walla Walla gets I think we fell into a tourist trap. But it was all in fun. And when on vacation you have to splurge a bit and have fun. We had a blast. My gut hurts from soar muscles from laughing. I have blisters on my feet from walking the campus in pretty impractical sandals. I have a wonderful glow from visiting my fantasy land. the sun shone the weather was perfect, my friends were all having fun with me. A few dear people I never get to see, I got to spend quality time with. Riles was wonderful and polite and easy. I showed him off with pride.
I have set the bench high by showing Riles such a perfect college first. Now he needs to motivate and start applying and see where he ends up. I gave Tom the instructions that he had better take the boys to OSU and give a glamorous tour of his campus if he wants to motivate them in his preferred Alma Marta's direction. I have to admit choosing a school for an incredible climbing wall, even if it is the biggest indoor climbing wall in North America, and designed by a preeminent architect, is not really a good reason to go there. Now I am back to the real world.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
The rental
Last night I drove to the old house. I was expecting to show the house to three different potential parties. I figured with three showings I should be there. I had arranged everyone for one night as my tenant had to get the house clean for the showings.
The house looked fantastic. He had hired his old girlfriend to come in and clean. She was just leaving when I arrived. The yard had been weeded and the house looked wonderfully staged. I had no complaints other than my plants could have used a little more watering. My fruit trees in the back were full of luscious apples. I heard the friend leave and say she was coming back to pick some and make apple pie and fresh apple sauce. Made my mouth water. I really need to get my fruit trees in my new yard this winter.
An agent had called last week asking to show the house to a couple that she had not been able to find anything for on the MLS. That couple did a drive by over the weekend and the agent notified me belatedly that they hadn't gotten back to her, but I didn't receive the notice until I was already at the old house.
Flag lots sometimes turn people off. It took some getting used to when we bought the house ourselves initially, but I found the extra privacy surprisingly comfortable. You could forget to close the garage door all night and no one would know.
The next expected visitor was a man who had found a foreclosure they liked but didn't necessarily want to wait five months. He wanted to see our house. He turned out to also be a no show.
The last visitors expected were a couple with small children. They came and looked for potentially renting the house. They had a three month old with them and Grandma. Grandpa was watching the other children at home. They were quiet. I think they had been hoping for more yard. They live on acreage now, but a house too small for all the children.
I called afterward asking what their thoughts were, because with all the activity my tenant offered to renew his lease for another year. He wanted the same rate though and Tom wants to go up $50 a month. The family said they were going to pass. I e mailed later asking for feedback to find out what made them decline the opportunity. Haven't heard back yet.
Meanwhile Tom said there was no rush with renewing the tenant if he wouldn't go up $50 a month. I checked the competition and we are priced fairly. Only big house in this range. The other big houses are priced a lot more. Just have to find the right renter or buyer.I think that those potential buyers missed out by not coming inside.
Who knows, perhaps next March my Tenant will agree to our rental price. Rents in general go up in the spring. My tenant asked that I wait until January for any more showings. He wants to get through the holidays without worrying about moving. That is fine with me.
Tom pointed out that the extra $50 would help cover the insurance on the house which we are not covering with the rent. I will be cranky if we end up with an empty house for a month or two because it doesn't rent right away. Though I think our tenant is in no hurry to move. He is dreading moving as much as I am finding someone honest to replace him.
Looking back at 2006, there was nothing we could have rented at the time we moved that would have been suitable. People were selling homes. The market was frothy. Hind sight being twenty twenty, I wish we had offered to rent that house from the previous owner, rather than buy it. We all knew the housing market was a bubble. But it would have been hard paying that kind of rent and not buy a house. Who pays over $2000 in rent and doesn't buy. People that expect ot move again shortly. We are just not renters.
No use looking back. This is what it is. Tom still wants to walk away from the house. We could still do a short sale, but that would tie up our credit for years. Ask yourself how much is your good credit worth. We eventually want new cars. We will be paying cash for them. The house we live in needs some love, new siding on the south side and new windows.
I like my perfect credit score. I am still being offered new credit cards in the mail that I rip up.
It was a relief to see the house in good condition. That in itself was worth the time. I like the tenant. We have not burned any bridges. March is six months away.
The house looked fantastic. He had hired his old girlfriend to come in and clean. She was just leaving when I arrived. The yard had been weeded and the house looked wonderfully staged. I had no complaints other than my plants could have used a little more watering. My fruit trees in the back were full of luscious apples. I heard the friend leave and say she was coming back to pick some and make apple pie and fresh apple sauce. Made my mouth water. I really need to get my fruit trees in my new yard this winter.
An agent had called last week asking to show the house to a couple that she had not been able to find anything for on the MLS. That couple did a drive by over the weekend and the agent notified me belatedly that they hadn't gotten back to her, but I didn't receive the notice until I was already at the old house.
Flag lots sometimes turn people off. It took some getting used to when we bought the house ourselves initially, but I found the extra privacy surprisingly comfortable. You could forget to close the garage door all night and no one would know.
The next expected visitor was a man who had found a foreclosure they liked but didn't necessarily want to wait five months. He wanted to see our house. He turned out to also be a no show.
The last visitors expected were a couple with small children. They came and looked for potentially renting the house. They had a three month old with them and Grandma. Grandpa was watching the other children at home. They were quiet. I think they had been hoping for more yard. They live on acreage now, but a house too small for all the children.
I called afterward asking what their thoughts were, because with all the activity my tenant offered to renew his lease for another year. He wanted the same rate though and Tom wants to go up $50 a month. The family said they were going to pass. I e mailed later asking for feedback to find out what made them decline the opportunity. Haven't heard back yet.
Meanwhile Tom said there was no rush with renewing the tenant if he wouldn't go up $50 a month. I checked the competition and we are priced fairly. Only big house in this range. The other big houses are priced a lot more. Just have to find the right renter or buyer.I think that those potential buyers missed out by not coming inside.
Who knows, perhaps next March my Tenant will agree to our rental price. Rents in general go up in the spring. My tenant asked that I wait until January for any more showings. He wants to get through the holidays without worrying about moving. That is fine with me.
Tom pointed out that the extra $50 would help cover the insurance on the house which we are not covering with the rent. I will be cranky if we end up with an empty house for a month or two because it doesn't rent right away. Though I think our tenant is in no hurry to move. He is dreading moving as much as I am finding someone honest to replace him.
Looking back at 2006, there was nothing we could have rented at the time we moved that would have been suitable. People were selling homes. The market was frothy. Hind sight being twenty twenty, I wish we had offered to rent that house from the previous owner, rather than buy it. We all knew the housing market was a bubble. But it would have been hard paying that kind of rent and not buy a house. Who pays over $2000 in rent and doesn't buy. People that expect ot move again shortly. We are just not renters.
No use looking back. This is what it is. Tom still wants to walk away from the house. We could still do a short sale, but that would tie up our credit for years. Ask yourself how much is your good credit worth. We eventually want new cars. We will be paying cash for them. The house we live in needs some love, new siding on the south side and new windows.
I like my perfect credit score. I am still being offered new credit cards in the mail that I rip up.
It was a relief to see the house in good condition. That in itself was worth the time. I like the tenant. We have not burned any bridges. March is six months away.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Family
I know people want to hear how things are going with Mom and Big. I can't say much. It is their story. Doctor visits are lined up. Last doctor can't get them in until October 31. We are just, waiting. If they still can and want to go to Tucson, after that last appointment in October, Tom and I will help Big and Mom get there. I'll fly down with Big. Mom can drive down with Tom and Hoover. I think she doesn't trust Tom to bring Hoover down alive, after three days in the car.
Meanwhile, we just hang out and wait. Graham came to town for a tournament with Logan. I watched Logan play a tough match. It was quite exiting, exceptional tennis. Graham is now coaching Logan as Graham is probably the best coach in their area. Logan is beyond good. Graham and Logan played a doubles tournament and made it into the semi finals recently before they lost to two 21 year old college students. Tom said you could have added Graham and Logan's ages together divided by two and got to the age of their competition. Dang close.
Logan is now 12, and has not hit his full growth yet as a teen. He is not short for his age, he looks his age. I would have loved to see that match also. I bet there was a big audience to see the father son team beat out the competition. What a hoot to watch, let alone play. Graham said they had a blast. I can see he is an unconventional coach and fantastic teacher. Calm and patient, just making sure that learning tennis is fun and rewarding.
Graham and Logan stayed with Mom and Big so we all invited ourselves over for an impromptu family party. Football was on the TV. The men all watched TV upstairs with Big. A friend had delivered a delightful antipasti platter and later sandwiches so there was plenty of food. Big didn't have much as his stomach might act up, but we all dived in to the delicious spread. Riley hung with Logan and watched The Walking Dead, a really gory zombie show Logan liked. Riley ended up on the computer with his back to the TV. Tory sat in with the boys. I stayed in the kitchen and hung with Mom.
This weekend I am off to my class reunion with Riley and my old roommate. Riley is really looking forward to seeing Whitman. I told him he needs a 4 point for the next two years if he has any inclination at all of going to Whitman.
I remember my first day at Whitman. There was an orientation meeting for all Freshmen in the auditorium. Whitman only has 1200 to 1400 students total.The auditorium easily held everyone. The President asked everyone to stand up who had received any sort of honor for academics, listing National Merit Finalist and Presidential Award winners first. Three quarters of the audience stood up. Whitman is pretty intimidating intellectually.
So, we putter on in our lives and try to stay cheerful, while we wait for news, another somber cloud hanging over the family. We wait. We have our children to keep us occupied with fun activities.
Meanwhile, we just hang out and wait. Graham came to town for a tournament with Logan. I watched Logan play a tough match. It was quite exiting, exceptional tennis. Graham is now coaching Logan as Graham is probably the best coach in their area. Logan is beyond good. Graham and Logan played a doubles tournament and made it into the semi finals recently before they lost to two 21 year old college students. Tom said you could have added Graham and Logan's ages together divided by two and got to the age of their competition. Dang close.
Logan is now 12, and has not hit his full growth yet as a teen. He is not short for his age, he looks his age. I would have loved to see that match also. I bet there was a big audience to see the father son team beat out the competition. What a hoot to watch, let alone play. Graham said they had a blast. I can see he is an unconventional coach and fantastic teacher. Calm and patient, just making sure that learning tennis is fun and rewarding.
Graham and Logan stayed with Mom and Big so we all invited ourselves over for an impromptu family party. Football was on the TV. The men all watched TV upstairs with Big. A friend had delivered a delightful antipasti platter and later sandwiches so there was plenty of food. Big didn't have much as his stomach might act up, but we all dived in to the delicious spread. Riley hung with Logan and watched The Walking Dead, a really gory zombie show Logan liked. Riley ended up on the computer with his back to the TV. Tory sat in with the boys. I stayed in the kitchen and hung with Mom.
This weekend I am off to my class reunion with Riley and my old roommate. Riley is really looking forward to seeing Whitman. I told him he needs a 4 point for the next two years if he has any inclination at all of going to Whitman.
I remember my first day at Whitman. There was an orientation meeting for all Freshmen in the auditorium. Whitman only has 1200 to 1400 students total.The auditorium easily held everyone. The President asked everyone to stand up who had received any sort of honor for academics, listing National Merit Finalist and Presidential Award winners first. Three quarters of the audience stood up. Whitman is pretty intimidating intellectually.
So, we putter on in our lives and try to stay cheerful, while we wait for news, another somber cloud hanging over the family. We wait. We have our children to keep us occupied with fun activities.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Updates
For a few days I got worried when it started to be overcast and misty. I need sunny between 50 and 85 degrees, not too much to ask for in order to finish staining the decks. The backside all had to be reached by ladder. I have been up on a ladder every day this week. All but the two story deck is finished front and back. I want someone home if I am going up two stories. Besides my hand and arm are getting sore after a week of using a paint brush. I do want to use up all the stain.
It amazes me how the treated support beams suck up the stain. They are so deprived of moisture you can see the boards renew themselves before your eyes. I don't go in for the weathered look, the boards look too distressed. I figure I am buying ten years of stress free deck by doing all this work. According to the can that is how long the guarantee is for the stain on the deck surface, 25 years for the posts.
Tom asked me why I was doing it by hand and not using the sprayer. The sprayer is so messy and doesn't get the thick coverage I want, plus the thing leaks. Hand painting is therapy. It is a nice soothing activity. At least it was until I had to climb the ladder for the back side. Ladders are stressful and having to go up, do three feet and come down, and move the ladder to the next section is more work than therapy.
It is keeping me busy though as I wait for news from my parents. They are dealing with a health issue that has us all worried. We wait for news and doctor updates. Keeping active with a big project that I can drop easily is good for me.
Tomorrow is a big day. I am showing the old house to some prospects. Two potential buyers and one potential tenant family. I decided to go down to be there myself as there are so many people coming through. I can also check on the status of the house since I heard the dogs our current tenant have are causing some damage.
I thought that my coming down might get my tenant to make an effort to clean up a bit more. What it did do was get him to ask me if he could sign another year. I thought he wanted to move. That is what he told me two months ago. I told him we could discuss it. I want to see the condition of the house and hear what the people coming through say about the house. We would rather sell.
Meanwhile I am the popcorn coordinator for Trevor's scouts. I have a garage full of popcorn if anyone wants to buy some to support the scouting program. 30% goes to the scout himself and 30% goes to the troop for equipment and costs. That is 70% return. The popcorn is delightful, especially the chocolate covered popcorn.
I sat at Fred Meyers for three hours on Saturday morning keeping a young scout company as he sold popcorn at the door. I have arranged for several other days, but this time the parents are sitting with their own children.
Trevor hasn't been available to sell. He is doing football five nights a week. Last night he played the whole JV game. He was so excited when I picked him up from school after the game. It was an away game. He didn't get home until after 10:00pm. I had driven down to wait for him in the parking lot to save some time. I waited fifteen minutes before the bus pulled in. It will be a long week for that boy.He has a lot more energy than I do. He was so excited to play that much as it is an indicator that he may play on the Varsity team with more play time.
Last week he played all four quarters on the Freshman squad game, so he didn't get any Varsity play time the next night. We will see what happens this week. four quarters in 48 hours is all that is allowed in this league.
We had a home game pot luck dinner last Wednesday at the school. I was assigned to bring drinks. The apple juice was a success the iced tea was not. I also brought a case of water which will be saved for another sport like soccer or tennis since the boys have a water horse and the other sports don't use one.
A water horse looks something like a long saw horse with perforated pipes so a dozen boys can drink at once. It runs constantly throughout practice. At games there are big water coolers and a water boy who brings refillable bottles to the players while in the huddle or on the side lines. Trevor had to be water boy last year while he waited for his grades to improve.
I have been researching colleges with Riley. He wants to be an Engineer and go to a medium to small college. I had to snort when the only school that came up with all his criteria was Whitman. He would love it but at over $50,000 a year and they only look at grades 3.7 or better. After last year's report card, he is kind of screwed.
The other college that caught my eye was Southern Oregon U, in Ashland. It doesn't have a full engineering program but a pre engineering program transferring to OSU after two years. They work with OSU throughout the preprogram and have a NASA project with scholarships. Riley wants to do rockets with NASA. It might be a good fit.
University of Montana in Bozeman also came up when I widened the distances. They have an Engineering program, but it is dang cold in Montana. Riley might like Ashland's more milder weather better. It was nice to see the options though and start whittling down the list. I asked him to find a half a dozen schools of interest so we can proceed.
PSAT's are coming up on October 17. Get your college bound high schooler registered this week.
It amazes me how the treated support beams suck up the stain. They are so deprived of moisture you can see the boards renew themselves before your eyes. I don't go in for the weathered look, the boards look too distressed. I figure I am buying ten years of stress free deck by doing all this work. According to the can that is how long the guarantee is for the stain on the deck surface, 25 years for the posts.
Tom asked me why I was doing it by hand and not using the sprayer. The sprayer is so messy and doesn't get the thick coverage I want, plus the thing leaks. Hand painting is therapy. It is a nice soothing activity. At least it was until I had to climb the ladder for the back side. Ladders are stressful and having to go up, do three feet and come down, and move the ladder to the next section is more work than therapy.
It is keeping me busy though as I wait for news from my parents. They are dealing with a health issue that has us all worried. We wait for news and doctor updates. Keeping active with a big project that I can drop easily is good for me.
Tomorrow is a big day. I am showing the old house to some prospects. Two potential buyers and one potential tenant family. I decided to go down to be there myself as there are so many people coming through. I can also check on the status of the house since I heard the dogs our current tenant have are causing some damage.
I thought that my coming down might get my tenant to make an effort to clean up a bit more. What it did do was get him to ask me if he could sign another year. I thought he wanted to move. That is what he told me two months ago. I told him we could discuss it. I want to see the condition of the house and hear what the people coming through say about the house. We would rather sell.
Meanwhile I am the popcorn coordinator for Trevor's scouts. I have a garage full of popcorn if anyone wants to buy some to support the scouting program. 30% goes to the scout himself and 30% goes to the troop for equipment and costs. That is 70% return. The popcorn is delightful, especially the chocolate covered popcorn.
I sat at Fred Meyers for three hours on Saturday morning keeping a young scout company as he sold popcorn at the door. I have arranged for several other days, but this time the parents are sitting with their own children.
Trevor hasn't been available to sell. He is doing football five nights a week. Last night he played the whole JV game. He was so excited when I picked him up from school after the game. It was an away game. He didn't get home until after 10:00pm. I had driven down to wait for him in the parking lot to save some time. I waited fifteen minutes before the bus pulled in. It will be a long week for that boy.He has a lot more energy than I do. He was so excited to play that much as it is an indicator that he may play on the Varsity team with more play time.
Last week he played all four quarters on the Freshman squad game, so he didn't get any Varsity play time the next night. We will see what happens this week. four quarters in 48 hours is all that is allowed in this league.
We had a home game pot luck dinner last Wednesday at the school. I was assigned to bring drinks. The apple juice was a success the iced tea was not. I also brought a case of water which will be saved for another sport like soccer or tennis since the boys have a water horse and the other sports don't use one.
A water horse looks something like a long saw horse with perforated pipes so a dozen boys can drink at once. It runs constantly throughout practice. At games there are big water coolers and a water boy who brings refillable bottles to the players while in the huddle or on the side lines. Trevor had to be water boy last year while he waited for his grades to improve.
I have been researching colleges with Riley. He wants to be an Engineer and go to a medium to small college. I had to snort when the only school that came up with all his criteria was Whitman. He would love it but at over $50,000 a year and they only look at grades 3.7 or better. After last year's report card, he is kind of screwed.
The other college that caught my eye was Southern Oregon U, in Ashland. It doesn't have a full engineering program but a pre engineering program transferring to OSU after two years. They work with OSU throughout the preprogram and have a NASA project with scholarships. Riley wants to do rockets with NASA. It might be a good fit.
University of Montana in Bozeman also came up when I widened the distances. They have an Engineering program, but it is dang cold in Montana. Riley might like Ashland's more milder weather better. It was nice to see the options though and start whittling down the list. I asked him to find a half a dozen schools of interest so we can proceed.
PSAT's are coming up on October 17. Get your college bound high schooler registered this week.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Deck stain
The Gray deck made of faded composite is as old as the house, installed poorly, without staggered boards. Adequate for a while, but eventually will need to be relaid properly. Meanwhile Tom hates the gray and does not want a gray deck. The other half of the deck is newer and made of cedar boards, a recent install or rebuild from the looks of the newish boards. I didn't want a two tone deck with half gray and half natural cedar stain. I suggested staining the cedar a gray to match the gray composite. Tom wanted to just stain the cedar natural cedar again. We were kind of having a "discussion" on the topic.
I headed to home depot for stain samples. Tom had asked for cedar semi transparent, though there was enough markings on the deck and discolorations that I also picked up a solid stain to try. I had power washed the neglected deck weeks earlier, so the deck was prepped and ready to stain.
The cedar color once painted on the sample board was not the color Tom wanted. I headed back to Home Depot for more sample colors. Now we were to try Redwood color.
While at Home Depot, I discovered a new solid stain that has recently come on the market for composite decks that have faded with time. Targeted at our specific problem. This new stain can be put on the unpaintable surfaces of composite decking to change the color. I was giddy. I texted Tom that I had found a perfect solution to our problem of his not liking a gray deck and my not liking a deck with two colors on it. We could put the color of his choice over the whole deck, it would need to be solid colored though. That was a compromise, as he did love the semi transparent, but having seen the semi transparent with all the blemishes showing he agreed to the solid stain.
That agreement on painting the whole deck one color, was only the beginning of our Odyssey. Now we had to find the perfect color we both liked. Supposedly this solid stain will last 10 years without needing to be repainted. We needed to get the color right the first time. Each sample was $4 including tax. I had already bought two samples in the cedar, one solid and one semi transparent. The little squares of color samples did not match at all the final color in the can. Cedar was more of a light vomit color, a little yellow beige. Four trips to Home Depot and nine sample cans later, we found our color. I had also found a good match to the house cedar siding, for when we finish power washing the beat up Southern exposure.
That in itself was another conversation. Tom is thinking about replacing all the windows that need replacing and at the same time re siding the Southern side of the house with , perhaps, Hardie plank siding. Windows and siding should be done at the same time , I was told. I could see money pouring out, but it does need to be done.
Between the leaking windows last winter, and the carpenter ants, we will eventually have to open that can of worms, that Southern wall. I was just hoping to paint that wall and wait on it for a while. We had killed the bugs and caulked the leaks. But, like the kitchen island bothered me to the point of ripping it out, those windows with the bad seals and the warped boards on the exterior wall bother Tom in the same way. We both agree something needs to be done with the siding. I just would love to give it a new coat of paint. Even though it is probably on its last legs. Tom is ready for the complete replacement.
Back to the deck, I wanted the boys to help but Tom said he wanted a good paint job, so it was just the two of us, starting on the railings first. I wanted to do the back side as far as we could reach, but Tom wanted us to do the front and come back to the back side from below the deck with a roller. I mentioned the crevasses and tight corners, but there was so much to paint I could always get that later. Tom wanted to get the main deck done as quickly as possible so we could use it again soon. We spent hours staining the deck a beautiful Russet color, we both liked, which was more what we would call traditional Redwood but the can calls the color Russet.
After Tom painted the top rail, he turns to me and tells me to go ahead and paint the back side from above. I don't say a word as I lean over the damp top rail, getting Russet stain on my paint shirt while reaching for the back side which I had suggested we do in the beginning. We found a lot of missed cleaning spots, but that didn't slow us down.
We now have to wait 72 hours for full curing. Tom was the impatient one to get the furniture back on the deck in order to do the rest of the deck. He does want to re scrub everything, but then we have to wait for it all to dry again. I don't want to ruin all our hard work so I am playing the wait time by the book. The composite deck is off limits until Tuesday. Once cured I will move all the furniture over to the fresh side and we will tackle the cedar side of the deck. There is still lots to do, but the gray is gone. I just hope this product lives up to our expectations.
On Friday I went and had my nails done. I treated myself to a French Mani. What was I thinking? I looked at my hands after a day of staining the deck. I was careful and wore surgical gloves all day, but my beautiful paint job on my nails was not so beautiful anymore. Oh, well, the deck is looking good.
This project of deck staining will take weeks. Thank goodness for Indian Summers.
Before
Before
After
I headed to home depot for stain samples. Tom had asked for cedar semi transparent, though there was enough markings on the deck and discolorations that I also picked up a solid stain to try. I had power washed the neglected deck weeks earlier, so the deck was prepped and ready to stain.
The cedar color once painted on the sample board was not the color Tom wanted. I headed back to Home Depot for more sample colors. Now we were to try Redwood color.
While at Home Depot, I discovered a new solid stain that has recently come on the market for composite decks that have faded with time. Targeted at our specific problem. This new stain can be put on the unpaintable surfaces of composite decking to change the color. I was giddy. I texted Tom that I had found a perfect solution to our problem of his not liking a gray deck and my not liking a deck with two colors on it. We could put the color of his choice over the whole deck, it would need to be solid colored though. That was a compromise, as he did love the semi transparent, but having seen the semi transparent with all the blemishes showing he agreed to the solid stain.
That agreement on painting the whole deck one color, was only the beginning of our Odyssey. Now we had to find the perfect color we both liked. Supposedly this solid stain will last 10 years without needing to be repainted. We needed to get the color right the first time. Each sample was $4 including tax. I had already bought two samples in the cedar, one solid and one semi transparent. The little squares of color samples did not match at all the final color in the can. Cedar was more of a light vomit color, a little yellow beige. Four trips to Home Depot and nine sample cans later, we found our color. I had also found a good match to the house cedar siding, for when we finish power washing the beat up Southern exposure.
That in itself was another conversation. Tom is thinking about replacing all the windows that need replacing and at the same time re siding the Southern side of the house with , perhaps, Hardie plank siding. Windows and siding should be done at the same time , I was told. I could see money pouring out, but it does need to be done.
Between the leaking windows last winter, and the carpenter ants, we will eventually have to open that can of worms, that Southern wall. I was just hoping to paint that wall and wait on it for a while. We had killed the bugs and caulked the leaks. But, like the kitchen island bothered me to the point of ripping it out, those windows with the bad seals and the warped boards on the exterior wall bother Tom in the same way. We both agree something needs to be done with the siding. I just would love to give it a new coat of paint. Even though it is probably on its last legs. Tom is ready for the complete replacement.
Back to the deck, I wanted the boys to help but Tom said he wanted a good paint job, so it was just the two of us, starting on the railings first. I wanted to do the back side as far as we could reach, but Tom wanted us to do the front and come back to the back side from below the deck with a roller. I mentioned the crevasses and tight corners, but there was so much to paint I could always get that later. Tom wanted to get the main deck done as quickly as possible so we could use it again soon. We spent hours staining the deck a beautiful Russet color, we both liked, which was more what we would call traditional Redwood but the can calls the color Russet.
After Tom painted the top rail, he turns to me and tells me to go ahead and paint the back side from above. I don't say a word as I lean over the damp top rail, getting Russet stain on my paint shirt while reaching for the back side which I had suggested we do in the beginning. We found a lot of missed cleaning spots, but that didn't slow us down.
We now have to wait 72 hours for full curing. Tom was the impatient one to get the furniture back on the deck in order to do the rest of the deck. He does want to re scrub everything, but then we have to wait for it all to dry again. I don't want to ruin all our hard work so I am playing the wait time by the book. The composite deck is off limits until Tuesday. Once cured I will move all the furniture over to the fresh side and we will tackle the cedar side of the deck. There is still lots to do, but the gray is gone. I just hope this product lives up to our expectations.
On Friday I went and had my nails done. I treated myself to a French Mani. What was I thinking? I looked at my hands after a day of staining the deck. I was careful and wore surgical gloves all day, but my beautiful paint job on my nails was not so beautiful anymore. Oh, well, the deck is looking good.
This project of deck staining will take weeks. Thank goodness for Indian Summers.
Before Before AfterSunday, September 9, 2012
clothes shopping
My class reunion for college is quickly approaching. I am excited to be taking Riley and meeting up with my old college roommate and her son of similar age. Riley told the career councilor that he wanted to work with space and rocketry. Nice that he has a plan. There is a future in that area with all the private rocket companies opening up to service NASA and selling seats to bring anyone into space. he gets that he has to have the science grades also, to go with his ambitions.
I made an appointment for a color and cut. I am planning on having a pedicure and a manicure as the date gets closer. Yesterday I went clothes shopping. I used the reunion as my excuse to hit some of the end of summer sales.
I was heavy with guilt over spending any money. but at the end of the day I realized I had spent less on my wardrobe than I had on the boys' back to school clothes. Tom was at the Beaver Wisconsin game sitting in very expensive seats in the club house. One of his seats was about what I spent on the clothes today.
I came home with seven tops and four sweaters costing me around $150 plus a pair of sandals on sale. Had to buy the sandals at Macy's as the other stores had already taken out their summer stock and brought in the winter boots. I probably spent $200 total today. I still need to get some pants or skirts, but I may have stuff in my closet that will work.
This closet in the basement doesn't work very efficiently. I forget about things I have in my wardrobe, since I have to leave much of my clothes in the basement. It really makes me want to put up a wall in Riley's room and swipe his nice big huge closet for me. Perhaps another trip to Home Depot is in my near future.
We stopped at home Depot to buy more shelf brackets for the office. Slowly we will make that small space work for everyone. Tom just needs to tell me his ideas so I can start making them a reality. I am kind of excited about the over stimulation of being able to watch multiple shows at once. I am being only half facetious.
I made an appointment for a color and cut. I am planning on having a pedicure and a manicure as the date gets closer. Yesterday I went clothes shopping. I used the reunion as my excuse to hit some of the end of summer sales.
I was heavy with guilt over spending any money. but at the end of the day I realized I had spent less on my wardrobe than I had on the boys' back to school clothes. Tom was at the Beaver Wisconsin game sitting in very expensive seats in the club house. One of his seats was about what I spent on the clothes today.
I came home with seven tops and four sweaters costing me around $150 plus a pair of sandals on sale. Had to buy the sandals at Macy's as the other stores had already taken out their summer stock and brought in the winter boots. I probably spent $200 total today. I still need to get some pants or skirts, but I may have stuff in my closet that will work.
This closet in the basement doesn't work very efficiently. I forget about things I have in my wardrobe, since I have to leave much of my clothes in the basement. It really makes me want to put up a wall in Riley's room and swipe his nice big huge closet for me. Perhaps another trip to Home Depot is in my near future.
We stopped at home Depot to buy more shelf brackets for the office. Slowly we will make that small space work for everyone. Tom just needs to tell me his ideas so I can start making them a reality. I am kind of excited about the over stimulation of being able to watch multiple shows at once. I am being only half facetious.
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