Got it

They called. The office manager called back. She said 30 days. She has to do the schedule and move some people around. Probably make room for my training. So we get to enjoy August as stress free as possible, until the next crisis. Or so it seems at the moment.



Trev made up his birthday list, even though I told him his trip with me was his birthday present. He said his brother still has to get him a present and his dad. We'll see. I am not going to push it or purposefully take his brother shopping. He might get a card. We'll see. My pocket book is drying up as the summer comes to a close.



I still have to get through Tom's birthday. I have arranged for a sitter and we are going out on the town. Date night. My step mom bave us a night at a hotel for Christmas. I am taking advantage of that gift. I just have to find something fun to do outside the hotel. That is my job today. Plan the activity, plan dinner out. I am pretty excited. I think Tom is looking forward to it also.
He wasn't thrilled about celebrating his birthday. As we get older it is less thrilling. So a night out is just right. He doesn't do walking tours, but I might get him to a concert. I will see what I can find.

Loss

I talked to my sister today. She had returned from her memorial on the East Coast. It was intense. During the Quaker service a lightening storm struck the city. All power was lost, toilets couldn't flush. The service was held by candle light and flash lights.

I have never been to a Quaker service. I remember Quakers played a large role in the underground railway pre Civil War. I decided to look up the Quakers and what they represent. Its a Christian movement from the 17th century. They believe each individual is a direct conduit to God, no priests needed. Jesus was the word of God, not the whole Bible, written by others. Their meetings consist of people gathering and when inspired to just stand and speak, moved by the word of God inside them. Some meeting may be held in complete silence. Others may have many speakers. There are no particular leaders. Decisions are made by consensus. They have been successfully doing this kind of governing for centuries. Though criticism abounds that governing by consensus cant succeed. Here seems to be an exception. The word Quaker is thought to come from the expression Fear God and quake in your boots. The more correct term is Religious society of Friends.

So I visualize this room full of people sitting in silence until someone was moved to speak. Each person is there to bid farewell to a man they knew. The warm glow of candles illuminating their sad faces. When someone rose to speak, it was from the heart. It truly must have been a surreal moment, intense.

When we were in DC, Senator Bird, a Democrat from West Virginia died. All the flags were at half mast all week. They were at half mast at Arlington Cemetery and Antietam. When you give up your privacy for the public life, even your death is publicly acclaimed.

My mom says she wants no party or recognition of her passing. She threatens to haunt us if we do a memorial. She takes the practical approach. A few hours of mourning then get on with your lives. Even the few hours is begrudging. Something in between would be nice. My dad wasn't religious. He called himself a lapsed Episcopalian.He left it completely in our hands what to do. We hosted a cocktail party and a lunch for his friends, so they could have the opportunity to say goodbye. Nothing ostentatious, just a way to gather and acknowledge his existence, that he impacted our lives, and that he would be missed.

That is what my sister is doing. She is acknowledging the impact her fiance had on her and his friends. He did so much to support and love Tory, that his going has left a serious void in her life. It was so sudden there was no time to say goodbye. It will take time to fill that hole in. There will always be a scar from that void. No one gets away un scathed from being with death.

I was bit by a spider or a misquote yesterday while gardening. My leg has a big itchy red welt on it. I took some benedril for the antihistamine to stop the itching. It helped but it also made me tired. I ended up taking a nap. Now my leg wants to start itching again. I think I will find some hydrocordizone instead to stop the itching so I don't fall asleep again.

When we were at the beach I really stressed Riley getting bitten and how his body would react. I slathered on the repellent. He joked it was his lack of blood or the pills making him taste bad, but he did not get one bit. The mosquitoes did swarm around my friends until they also got the repellent on their bodies. I love living in this modern age. To be able to beat the bug with a little squirt bottle is lovely. Too bad I didn't do it before I went out gardening.

My blisters popped on my hands, while gardening. I used a little bag balm to sooth them. I figure if it is good for cow's udders, it will sooth my hands. It is amazing, softening the dry skin and easing the sting. I used to use it on the boys diaper rashes. I thought it cured them faster than the desinex.

This is why I need to go back to work. Too much time on my hands to dwell on everything and nothing.

Humor

I drove Trevor's friend home. Its an hour and fifteen minute drive one way. His mom and I kind of eyed each other until I volunteered to bring him home, that was when she said he could stay over night. We live just a bit too far away now we both admit. They are such good friends, the whole family. Trevor and his friend have known each other since preschool T ball at the YMCA.



I love that they make the effort to still call each other and angle for sleep overs whenever possible. I do what I can to keep their friendship alive.



I had a dear friend when I was little. When we moved away I tried to keep connected but over time we lost contact. When you don't see each other and have those common events to share it is hard to get together and have anything to talk about. Its awkward for me.



Trevor has no problem with this friend coming up with things to do or talk about. They both love mad libs. They will do the silly stories for hours, laughing hilariously. His parents are wonderful people and have great parenting values that I admire. I like those kinds of friends. Tom was disappointed they didn't come in to say hi. But often he is asleep in his chair recovering after a round of golf. He could have come outside to say hi if he had felt strongly enough. They had other things they wanted to squeeze into the day.



After dropping the boy at his home Trevor and I headed over to my sister's place. I had said I would mow her lawn again. No one had done it since the last time. She was coming home from the East coast service on a late flight. I wanted the exterior of the house to look welcoming. I also told Trevor he owed me for the sleep over and drive home. He didn't complain. He said he felt bad for Tory and wanted to help. That boy has a good heart. He belongs to the volunteer corps at school and does charitable works all year long.

We are headed south on I5. I want Trevor to remind me to stay on I5 when we come to our regular splinter. I have in the past automatically taken the other rout when I really wanted to stay on I5. Trevor's response was so funny. He says "I5, that's easy, Bingo."

"What?" I ask

"Bingo" He says again. "You know mom Bingo, I5."

I love the way that boy's mind works.


Today it was 85 degrees. The ground was hard and dry. Mostly weeds had been growing in this heat. At my sister's, the grass needed a trim, but it was not out of control from two weeks ago. No one had been watering it regularly so it hadn't grown much. I tried to do some weeding while Trevor mowed. It barely mad a dent. I will need to catch the weeds after a wet rainy day in the fall to get the roots. The lawn did look better two hours later when we were done. She has a lot of lawn and the self propulsion is broken on her lawn mower. It is also a big heavy machine. I burn my fingers on the side of the mower when, with Trevor's help we lift it from one level to

another. My fingers touch the hot part of the engine. My skin turns whit on two fingers and I know I have created blisters. We continue working but I put on gloves.



Trevor is thirsty so he goes inside and returns with a tall glass of water for me, without my asking. He is so thoughtful. I needed that water. After the mowing is done I throw in the towel on the weeds. I am sitting on the porch drinking that wonderful water sitting next to Trevor, he looks over and asks why I am crying. I say I am not, that is sweat dripping off my face and it was. I sweat really easily. 85 degrees is way too hot for doing yard work.



Tory has a friend house sitting for her. He was there at the house when we arrived. It was nice to see all the cars in the drive. Leaving your house empty during times like these is not smart. This friend was taking care of the cat and I think enjoying the air conditioning on this very hot day. He had also cleaned up a bit from all the visitors earlier. Tory has some very dear friends who have been wonderfully supportive.



Hopefully she will be happy with our work. Trevor and I are both pleased. We are done and head home. There are still a lot of weeds on the bank but we need to wait for the rain to tackle those. I ask Trevor what he wants for dinner as my thank you for helping. I had told him we would stop at a store for a drink, but now I am thinking bigger. I don't want to cook. Options are KFC, Chinese, or Panda Express. He wants Chinese and calls home to get either Tom or Riley to place the order while we drive. It would be ready for pick up by the time we got there. Neither Riley or Tom want Chinese or want to make the call. Since we don't have the number the fall back plan is KFC.



I order Trevor a kids meal with a milk shake and the rest of us get family meal with mashed potato and gravy and original recipe. There is a special, 7 thighs and legs for $10. That is all we like. No one in the family likes the breasts. So for us its a great deal. We even end up with left overs since Trevor had a kids meal. Riley only eats one leg.



Tom and I talk while we all watch TV. My sister in Law has been trading e mails with me over the cat issue. Tom and I agree again "no cat". It is nice to confirm that we are on the same page. He hadn't want to read the e mails in case there was something in them that would make him mad. I told him he was free to read them. I hadn't written anything he wouldn't approve, nor anything really instigating from his sister either. But it is always nice to know what to expect when opening his family's e mail. You have to love them.



I tell him his family wants to wait until the bitter end before moving. No one is coming to visit any time soon. They may not even end up here as things resolve themselves. All options are open. Now that that issue has been pushed out indefinitely, I have taken a breather. Doing the lawn has given me fresh energy. Exercise is invigorating.



Tom says I am like Bones on TV, I am good at compartmentalizing my life. Now I am just waiting to hear officially if I got the job and when my start date is. Long days, but I am looking forward to them, since it is only part time. After 14 years, its a good start. I think Tom is torn about my job. He wants to encourage me to go back to work, but then he is concerned about the boys. He also wishes it were something more distinctive than a shoe store. But again I think he is happy since it is a start for me working, finally.

Tom and I have always joked that we are scrappers. If push came to shove we would not be embarrassed to do any job. We would not be too prideful to flip burgers. A job is a job. It is important to provide financial support to the family with an honest wage. That was how Tom ended up on Vashon Island as a Project Manager for a sewage treatment plant before we ended up where we are now. He hated being away from home, but he did what he had to do to provide for the family.

My Meyers Briggs exam in high school said I should work in a Funeral Home or own a Boutique. I was strongly empathetic the test scores implied. I figure this shoe store will give me the exposure to small retail and the details needed for running a successful small business. The owner has successfully been in business for 57 years. He has a lot of knowledge to teach. I am excited at the opportunity. The store manager mentioned starting in September, which would work, but I would love to start sooner. We will see what they say when they call back. I am guessing at the end of the week. Tom keeps asking. I will call if I don't hear from them by Thursday. I sent a thank you letter and the formal application back in the mail on Friday. My references will need to be contacted, so I want to give them a few days.

The Fair

We made arrangements a week ago with some friends to go to the Renaissance fair in Silverton. I got discount coupons and directions off the Internet. We could all fit in their minivan. I do sometimes miss the mini van for that very reason. Theirs fits eight, with a pull down movie projector for the children. As soon as the movie starts the loud talking in the back ceases. It is a cool trick.

The place is easy to find with the directions. It is the second year for this fair. People wander around in costumes covering several hundred years. Some costumes are fantasy costumes with fairy wings. A few jesters are also around. There are actors in costume. You can tell by their carrying voices and their comfortable bearing while dressed in medieval garb.

There is a temporary arena set up for the jousting and sword play. It is very realistic looking with sparks flying from the swords on contact in battle. The horses are beautiful. Each section roots for a different Knight. They use long pointed javelins to grab hanging rings from horse back. They also charge each other with blunt tipped javelins while galloping. It was much like that movie "A Knights Tail". Fancy maidens road around the arena making their horses bow and dip and Spanish walk.

The place was set up on a farm next to a forest. The tents of vendors were set up under the trees which helped shade everyone from the heat of the day. The cars were parked in the un mowed field.
Painted medieval pillars were strategically placed to give you the flavor of a medieval village. I am spoiled. What I felt was missing were real ruins.

Being the last day of the fair, many of the booths had great prices on the jewelry and souvenirs. I bought some new necklaces and earrings for less than $5. I could have bought a lot more. I gave the boys $20 each to go get food and souvenirs themselves. As usual I banned swords. My girlfriend's husband also banned swords. He said inevitably they would hit each other at home with swords. Someone would get hurt and the sword would have to be confiscated and broken. I love being backed by other parents. My boys don't think I am so strict then.

Tom was golfing. He loved that we were going out, he said , so he didn't have to feel guilty about being gone. He should never feel guilty about golf. I love his mood afterwards. I asked Tom if Trevor's friend could spend the night. He said yes. This particular friend is a quiet boy. We have always enjoyed having him over as he keeps the boys entertained quietly.

I asked Tom why he wasn't into Renaissance as he was Civil War. He said the Civil War reenactments are more realistic. The people involved really want to be in 1863, and do their best to create that atmosphere and realism. Renaissance is more like playing dress up.

Its true. Behind the black smith tent is a propane tank, not a boy at the bellows. The campers that spent the night were in modern Pup tents. No canvas covered poles in sight. The Renaissance Fair was theater entertainment. The Civil War was the participants reliving the period as authentically as possible. The civil war was not about the paying customer. That is what made it so special.

I loved the Renaissance fair for the fun and frivolity. It was a fun day and worth the short trip, as going to a play would be. The Civil War reenactment was all about living and breathing 1863. The participants took their roles very seriously. It wasn't acting, it was living.

The boys enjoyed the magician show. Riley watched it twice. He laughed and cheered with the crowds. The boys were right at the fence when the jousting occurred. Cheering on their favorite Knight. The choreography was great in the fight scenes. The actors wore heavy leather belts around their waists to protect them in the final scene when they get stabbed in the gut and carried from the field.

We were told all the horses were rescue animals. A donation helmet went round after the show. We all put money into it. There were musicians playing classical music and selling their CDs. One gentleman sang bawdy Scottish ballads that were hysterical. We wandered through the trees to keep to the shade. You could rent costumes for the day at one tent. My friend bought an inexpensive hair ribbon for her daughter.

I had brought a shawl to sit on which came in handy several times. It is light and easy to carry draped over my purse. It is nice to have when sitting on prickly hay bails or the ground while wearing shorts or thin light clothing. The children liked it.

We popped another show in the DVD player for the ride home. Trevor's friend stayed with us when we were dropped off. They were going to try and see another friend on the way home so the parents didn't come in. The boys went off to play on the computer. Tom was already home from his day of golf. He was having that perfect Sunday. He had Tivoed the Nascar Race and was watching the replay. The only thing that could have made it better is if Jeff Gordon had won and Tom had shot better golf. But he was content and happy in his chair.

I made Marinated Flank steak for dinner with rice a roni, one of my family's favorites. I like it because it is minimum time in the kitchen. There were no left overs. Our guest didn't like it. I guess it is what you are used to. I think that other food was snacked on instead. Cheap hot dogs are always available.

I could hear the boys voices late into the night, through our bedroom walls. Tom slept through, so I let it go. Just telling the boys to whisper.

Today I am driving our guest home and going to try to get to my sister's house. No one has mowed her lawn since I did it two weeks ago. I like to mow lawns. Trevor will help me. Mowing her lawn is an easy way to help out. We, Trevor and I are also going to check those school supplies. His tutoring starts tomorrow.

Despite the bad things happening, its been a good summer for us. No complaints today.

Saturday - thoughts

The doctor said come fall He wants Riley indistinguishable from any other in coming freshman. Other than contact sports, Riley should be able to do everything. He said Riley could ride his bike as long as he didn't try going down steep hills or trick biking. Riley never did trick biking. I love to be able to do the trail by our house again. I tell Riley contact sports also include falling down the stairs. That is contact with the ground.

So we are in normal mode for a while. Tom and I discuss the BMT. He points out the most successful results are those that do BMT within the first year of diagnosis. Less reactions, smoother transition, the body is not worn out by long term drug use yet. He has a point. We will see what the numbers hold for us on September 2.


Lunch with my Mother in Law was interesting. My nephew was there. He is 26. It is kind of a package deal. She wants to make sure he has a home until he gets his feet on the ground. He is attending a Community College. We are about the same distance north as they are south of the school, about 30 minutes. He talks all lunch. I can tell he doesn't get out much or get to have an audience of such rapt listeners. My boys think he is really interesting at first. He is a computer gamer. He has a beard, the boys tease him and warn him beards turn grey when you get old. His is a reddish hue and a little scruffy.

I am told he can type over 100 words per minute and is quite intelligent. He is just a little socially awkward. Nothing like living with his grandmother and an aunt your whole life to make a man socially awkward. He always hid in his room when we came to visit, until the boys got old enough to watch him play games on his computer and enjoy it. Now when we visit, he sits on the couch with a boy on each side quietly cheering him on with his game, while the "adults" talk.

I am told he is pleased to be considered in our tentative plans with grandma. He "likes" us compared to other relatives in the family. He talks the whole lunch. He is like a wound up child, and excited to be with us. I don't mind as it gives me time to assess him and how he and the boys interact. he tells us about school. It is his first year. He says he knows someone on line through his gaming, who is in a position to offer him a job, in California, if and when he gets his associates computer degree. Two years and he is half way through his first year, not unmanageable.

Before I went to lunch I had made some calls around town to see what 2 bedroom 1 bathroom apartments with no stairs were going for in our area. $630 would get an older but decent unit in a nicer neighborhood, near us. $750 gets you a newer apartment complex with a few extra amenities.

Turns out my nephew has a cat. I have to draw the line on the cat. We have two cats. The times other cats have come into the house have been disasters, peeing everywhere and fights in the middle of the night. My nephew tells us his cat is aggressive. With Riley, that just wont work. What a nightmare. So I let him know the cat will be a problem. I don't spell it out or say it strongly enough, though. I e mail my sister in law after lunch and ask her to let him know "No Cat". Start looking for a new home for the cat if you want to be under our roof for any amount of time. Either that or get a job and an apartment and pay the $300 animal deposit.

It may come to that anyway. I like the idea of Grandma living in the neighborhood in an apartment. She would qualify for housing aide and food stamps. She would be nearby. My 26 year old nephew could still live with her for the next year while he is going to school, and keep his cat.

They want to wait until the eviction for the foreclosure before doing anything, which is fine. Put off the move or having to make these serious choices as long as possible. I am told you can go a year without getting evicted or paying any monthly mortgage payments or rent. Live free for as long as possible.

I am still hopeful my sister in law will be able to settle and refinance, doubtful though it is after all this time. They have been in the battle since last October. The bank took it upon themselves to pay the house taxes even though my mother in law had received a waiver from the state. The bank billed the mortgage the taxes and the battle was on.

My sister in law has already reserved an apartment in the event of the eviction. I think she is looking forward to independent living after years of raising children and taking care of family. That just leaves Grandma and nephew. I think that an apartment looks very appealing for them at the moment. There are options other than our house. The key is Tom wants to make sure his mother is taken care of.

My Mother in Law was wonderful when she came to visit for that week, earlier this year. The counters were wiped clean and the dishes found their way to the dishwasher with out me. She was thoughtful and considerate and good company. Nothing like taking care of Tom Senior. That man was helpless by the time he moved in with us. Because of his diabetes I would often have to spoon feed him breakfast in bed to get his blood sugar up. He couldn't make it to the bathroom in time. He was work. But then I was getting paid to take care of him, so I didn't mind. He was a frail old man in need.

Mother in Law will not be in that condition. She is helpful. Now nephew, I have seen how boys live. He may be 26, but if he comes to stay he will need to follow the rules of the house. There will be chores and work. I will yell at him just like I do with my boys to get them to do their chores. But that is only if they end up at our house. We could be just a short duration stop gap while they find their own place to live.

No stress. I did buy my tickets to take Trevor and myself to Tucson for the memorial that was supposed to be my sister's wedding to her now dead fiance. Riley opted not to go. Tucson will be hot hot hot. Riley said he didn't want to do the memorial. He was there a year ago in March and it was hot then. This will be August.

Trevor has never been to Tucson He wanted to go. Tory booked us rooms at the El Conquistador Hilton. It has a huge pool and slide. She got a great rate $79 a night. 1/3 the price as peak season, or so I am told. I doubt Trevor will get to eat free though. Something to find out. The memorial is Saturday. We will fly home Monday. I am trying to figure out what indoor activity we can do on Sunday as our one free day of tourist.

I may have my niece with us. I don't know if she will be entertaining with Tory or if she can come play with us. I rented a car to make it easier. Through it on our very expensive plane tickets, so the car was really cheap to rent. Friday to Monday for $68 dollars. I kept putting off the plane tickets in hopes the price would go down, but they just kept getting daily more expensive. I thought that August would be cheaper, but those airlines know the game.

I thought about bidding on Priceline, but you can't pick your flight. I had specific times I wanted to fly. So I finally just purchased the tickets. I am grateful Riley opted not to come along now. Trevor and I will have a great time. I told Trevor this was his early birthday present from me. His birthday is two days after we get back. The last few years his birthday has fallen right in the middle of family vacations. Rafting down the Rogue river, camping at Lost Lake, Trevor has had some really great birthdays.

I used to host pool parties for him. Between the location, the cake, presents, and goodie bags for his guests, these parties ran about as much as I just spent on his plane ticket. Football has helped because we can't travel as easily without missing practices, once football season has started with conditioning. Trevor will miss one practice in my estimation, without having a schedule yet.

Trevor will miss several practices and a game, let alone a few days of school, when we do our Make a Wish Trip in the fall. I had a friend though, more than one that said do those family trips now. Don't let early sports deter you. As the children get older it is even harder to schedule family events together. Spend the time now.

A friend of mine from college just got back from Italy with her mom and her sisters. Her mother has recovered from breast cancer and decided that she wanted to do a trip with her children. "You can't take it with you" was her motto. She wanted quality time while she still could do it. My dad did that with my little sister. They went to London for a week just a year before he got sick. He wanted one last trip abroad before he was too old to travel. Who knew it he wouldn't be with us just 3 years later.

My girlfriend helped plan this dream trip with her mom. One sister had just found out her husband had a new job in a new state and they were selling their house and moving. Another sister had children in sports. My girlfriend had to take time off from work. It was difficult to coordinate everyone. It was worth the work. I had drinks with them after they got back. Everyone just glowed telling of their adventures, laughing at the problems. The careful picking of an apartment off the Internet with no stairs to deal with for mom, only to arrive and find the building located at the top of a hill with a hundred stairs to climb to reach the hotel.

They will remember that trip with their mom and sisters their whole lives. Even after their parents have passed away, the memories will bring a smile. They will be grateful they made the effort despite the inconveniences to their families left behind and personal lives. They will be glad they made the effort to be there for the ones that went.

I was torn about Tucson, a wedding was one thing, a memorial was another. Like Riley I don't particularly like attending memorials. Everyone is sad and weepy. Not that anyone does like attending these events. But they do give closure. In this case, I want my sister to know her family loves her and supports her. We had mixed feelings about her fiance. He was good for Tory and the children. But, " in our opinion", his politics and environmental views were whacked, and we wished he had more money so Tory wouldn't have to struggle all the time to make ends meet. But in the end the fact that he stuck by Tory despite her difficult ex husband and her children issues outweighed any reservations we had. I am glad to be going to his memorial to say he will be missed and he was appreciated.

Life throws so many curve balls these days, its more like dodge ball. Some hit harder than others. My goal is at the end of the game I am still smiling through the bruises and glad I played.

Friday July 2010

Tom was asleep by 8:30 last night. Probably exhausted by holding in the stress and emotion. He had machines down yesterday which didn't help, but some good people were in charge to deal with it until he got back. So it was early but justifiable on such a full day.

I took advantage and kicked out the neighbor boy that was playing with the boys and sent everyone to their rooms for bed. Riley took his pills and went without complaint. Trevor had me get his book out from under the covers in our room, where he had left it this afternoon. It takes thirty minutes to settle the boys when we don't do night time showers. Between the fussing and the getting water from down stairs, and the brushing of teeth, settling down the house takes time.

Ahh, the peace and enjoyment of an early night is delicious. I did pull my blanket from the drier only to find it had started to smell from not being fully dry. It had knotted up and inside the knots were damp spots that smelled of old shoes. I will rewash it. It is an argument for a clothes line. Those heavy blankets do better spread on a line. My neighbor has one she can put up and take down. I have used the ladders before. Setting up two A frames with the extension ladder between them .

I need to wash a rug. Its a big 8x10. I thought I would hose it off and scrub it then hang it in the yard. I am just waiting for another hot spell so it doesn't mold like this blanket fresh from the wash. It always surprises me how fast clothes go stinky in the laundry if you don't flip them right away. One of my friends told me she could tell when she hugged me whether the load had been flipped in time.

Today I have lunch with my mother in law. We are going to discuss her coming to stay. Her home is in foreclosure. Medical expenses went up and fixed income stayed the same. Now she is too far behind to make it work. They may want to put the move off as they battle with the mortgage company to refinance. Who knows, they could pull the rabbit out of the hat trick, and get some special deal.

I just want to set some of the ground work and see what she is thinking. I also want to offer the option of apartments in our area that are within her fixed income means. We will see what happens. My motto is no stress until you have to. Right now we are in this gray area, neither good or bad, options are available.

The boys are looking forward to lunch. Riley likes the all day breakfast menus and Trevor loves Cheese burgers, onion rings, milk shakes, and soup. The restaurant has lots of good coffee and a waitress that does all the work. That is what I like about eating out.

Next week Trevor starts tutoring. We will set up his supplies. Some things we will buy new but some we can scavenge from his old stuff. I told Trevor we will add days if he doesn't make an effort. I will hang a sign on the door for the neighborhood children so the sessions are not interrupted. 10:00 to noon on Tuesdays and Thursdays. for three weeks.

Numbers- July 2010

White cell 2.3 (from 2.4- inconclusive)
Hemoglobin 11.0 (up from 10.4 on 6/24, not bad, low normal)
Platelets 67 (up from 62 , a 1% gain)
BASO% 1 no change
EOS% 3 same as last month
Reticulocyte absolute # 23.8 (down from 51.6) This may not be good as these are the new juvinile red cells

The White cell family:
Neutrophil 1.2 (6/24 was 1.1)
Lymphocyte 0.7 (0.9)
Monocytes 0.3 (0.3)


Its like watching a turtle sleep. Every once in a while something might twitch to show that things are happening and alive. I had my interview and it looks like I got the job. three days a week including Saturdays though. I asked for every other Saturday, because of football season. They said that they could accommodate. I also mentioned the Make a Wish Trip and the potential to need 6 to 8 weeks for BMT if necessary. Again they were understanding. As I said before they hire by word of mouth and do not advertise as they are looking for a particular type of employee that melds well with their clientele.

I am to send back the formal application and they would let me know when I can start training. Training will take a month or so. They will know by the end of that time if I will work out or not. I look forward to starting after years of talking about going back to work.

I had taken Riley to Starbucks across the parking lot prior to my meeting. He waited in the car for me to finish. The interview took 4o minutes. I met the owner, who has owned the store for over 50 years, and his manager. I also had the pleasure of meeting another employee who came in to open the store while we met. I am hopeful that this will be a good fit for all of us, no pun intended as it is a specialty shoe store.

I am told 80% of their business comes from Doctor referrals. Very few are just walk ins. One client may lead to 5 others just by word of mouth. My mother in law moving in soon is good timing, if this works out.

Riley and I head to the hospital directly afterward. Riley needs to give blood so we can see his numbers. We park in the parking garage and head in to the seventh floor. I sign the arrival card on the door of the nurses station. There is one name ahead of us. Five minutes later they call for Riley. I ask him if he wants me to go in with him. He shrugs, either way is fine. I go in with him.

He sits at the raised chair that has special padded armrests. He asks for the anesthetic while the nurse wraps the rubber band around his arm and has him pump his fist. She tells him she doesn't have any as she sticks him with the needle. By the time he says "Awe, I like anesthetic" She is done drawing blood. "Wow you are fast". With a grin on his face, Riley leaves the room.

We head to lunch since we have 2 hours until our appointment with the Doctor and get the blood results. Riley orders a bacon cheese burger with seasoned fries. Once at the table he says its over cooked and he isn't hungry after all. His Dad texts us and says he is in the building. I text back to have him join us for lunch and he can eat Riley's whole meal. He does just that. He arrives shortly and wolfs down the burger. We talk about my potential job and then I suggest heading upstairs to the waiting room. Tom leaps from the table with alacrity. He has been waiting as patiently as he can for those numbers.

We are over an hour early so a nurse comes and apologizes that we will need to wait until our appointed time. I figured the doctor was at lunch. Kung Fu panda was on again. We have seen that movie every other time. We chuckle that we have never been able to see the whole movie all the way through. I read the paper for a while. We are called promptly and see the doctor within 15 minutes of our appointed time. Riley gets weighed 57.4 kilos and he measured 68.5 inches. He is growing just fine to fit his size 13 feet.

The numbers are close to what they were last month but improving slightly. 1% gains more or less. At this rate it could take years to recover. I ask how long Riley can stay on the cyclosporine. The Doctor tells me he has patients that have been on it for more than a decade. Riley is on a low dose as it turns out. He could take it indefinitely. My mind turns. That means we could time BMT for next summer rather than miss school, or postpone it indefinitely. We will have some serious discussions at our next appointment. Riley would opt to not have the BMT.

Now I understand the articles regarding living with Aplastic Anemia. I couldn't figure out the long term discussions. How these people could still be living. I had not realized you could just go on indefinitely without serious repercussions if you take the autoimmune suppressants. As long as Riley keeps his fluids going so his organs don't stress, it is a possibility not to do BMT. I will be discussing this option with Tom. The risk would be an illness with his compromised immunity.
Everything is a measured choice, risk, gain.

Riley has what looks like a virus to the Doctor, on his skin: chest and fore arms. Little red raised bumps. Riley had thought them in grown hairs or zits on his chest. He has had them for several weeks. The doctor says if it gets worse to call the dermatologist. It may just need to run its course.

The zit meds are working. Riley's face is much better. He did have a new big juicy zit on the bridge of his nose today, but there is definitely an overall improvement. His forehead has little red dots where the zits used to be but the zits themselves are gone and so is the inflammation. The Retin A should fade the spots over time.

Tom is quiet during the whole exam. he is waiting for August to pass. our next appointment is September 2. The Doctor is away for August. It is a morning appointment which is unusual, but we found out he is substituting for other doctors taking their vacations.

Oh, I forgot the insurance angle from our side. If we get everything done this year, we wont have to pay another $5000 max copay for Riley. Well, this time Tom can put it on his flexible spending account. I am sure we will be going through a lot on just the prescription's' co pays.
Honestly, I have no complaints with good insurance and good doctors and options all around.
September will come soon enough. We will enjoy this marathon of a summer.

Getting Ready

I was up with Tom this morning. He asked why I was up so early. He who has been so tense every night this week asks me why am I up at 5:00 am. Today we get numbers. Today I go for a job interview. You can go back and forth which one would stress me out more.

I try not to think about the numbers. They are out of my control and will be what they will be. This is only another indicator month. August is the big deal. That is when insurance lets us choose our course again. But if the numbers are pretty much the same as last month, we might start having that discussion today with the Doctor. 1:00 appointment.

This morning I am up early though because of the job interview. I have to try on clothes and see what still fits and what is too tight. Having put on a good 25 pounds and still counting, I have a limited selection of appropriate attire. I do have some lovely clothes, if only they fit.

I have ended up in a little black cocktail dress. One of those dresses that are perfect for every occasion. With a business jacket, it will be fine. I am sorry I have to wear black, but with limited options, I don't have a single suit that fits me any more. If I get the job, I will go shopping.
Of course my skirts will be fine for the job if I am hired, but for interviewing I wanted to be professional.

So I am tossing my wardrobe at 6:00 am now. I realize what a cheap wife I am when I look at all these clothes and realize most of my clothes are goodwill or hand me downs. I have had most of the clothes for over 10 years. I remember when I had a friend come over in Longview. We ditched my 80's business suites with the big shoulder pads and military buttons. That made room for the Mom clothes that I have now.

Now I need 21 century suites. I just got the Nordstrom's sale catalog full of twiggy models. There were some cute clothes, but fewer than there would have been if I was twiggy. Most of the stuff was trendy and would date itself within a year or two. I am also passing the stage of really short skirts. This job wouldn't work with those clothes. Fitting shoes involves a lot of squatting.

I anticipate if I get the job, losing weight. I will be out of the kitchen all day. I don't eat when I work. Sometimes a granola bar, but I have always liked to work through lunch, just take a quick break. If I take lunch I like it to be a real lunch with long hours. Treating myself to a restaurant with a friend. Its been a long time though since I worked, so maybe it will be different with age.
I might need my breaks.

The boys are 12 and 14. I haven't worked seriously since Riley was born, other than that year in Real Estate when Tom was between jobs. I loved Real Estate, but the overhead costs where high if you weren't taking it seriously all the time. When Tom moved us to another state my license was no good. The upfront expense deterred me, as did starting over with few contacts.

We will see how interested these people are after this second interview. My girlfriend told me they like more "mature" employees as their clientele tends to be older also. Not that there is age discrimination, but in this case older is better.

Time to finish dressing, pick appropriate jewelry, and do my face and hair. Its a big day no matter how you look at it.

Biking treat for Mom

I just got back from a delightful ride on the Springwater trail. I went with a girlfriend who is a dedicated biker. Last time we road together she crashed and broke her collar bone really bad.

Last fall we did this same area of Springwater Trail. We headed towards Gresham. When we ran out of trail and got to the road, she tried to stop and slid on gravel crashing hard. She hit her helmet on the concrete, denting it and slammed her shoulder into the ground. A homeless guy who appeared out of the brush, tried to help thinking it was dislocated shoulder and mangled the area trying to force the bone back in place. I flagged down a police car for help, while I returned for my car. The officer took her to the hospital where I eventually reconnected with her. She ended up with a plate in her shoulder and we hadn't gone biking since.

When she called to see if I was available I was thrilled and concerned. I said I would only go if she promised not to crash again. We started at Oaks Park and road in to past OMSI. It was loud in town by the Freeways and bridges. There was also a homeless "town" under one of the bridges. I suggested heading back the other way. Before reaching town the Springwater trail follows the Willamette river on a quiet peaceful stretch. That is the part I like best.

Once back in the Sellwood area we meander through the neighborhoods admiring the craftsman houses and beautiful landscaped yards. We stop to have lunch at the Grand Central Bakery on 13th. We talk for over an hour. Women can sit and talk about anything and it recharges the battery of the soul.

The sun came out and I knew it was time to head home. I picked up a couple of sweet treats to bribe the boys. We loaded our bikes up and headed in opposite directions. I feel so refreshed from exercise and good conversation. This morning crawling out of bed I wasn't sure I had the energy. I kept putting off getting up. Exercise makes energy. Now I am going out to mow the lawn.

TV

Today the boys slept in then had a big breakfast of bacon and blueberry waffles. We watched a show they both love. The door bell rang. It was a good friend of Trevor's. we have been gone for a month now so he wasn't sure we were back yet. He was happy when Riley opened the door.

He had brought an X-box game. I told the boys they could play as it had been so long since they had seen this friend. I am working away on the computer when I start to tune in on the sounds down stairs. Its a violent shoot em up game. I call down and ask the rating. M for mature, 17 and up. "How old are you Trevor?" . "13". "Not Yet. Pick another game". They whine a little but turn off the violence.

What they end up doing is running around the house with unloaded nerf guns, shooting at each other in play. Tell me that is not directly related to just turning off a game in which they run around shooting each other. Hmm.

They probably didn't want to load the guns because I am making them pick up the orange bullets afterwards. Either that or they couldn't find the bullets from the last time they played.
Boys!!

Whoosh

Lets list the crisis in the last year. My Dad, Tom's Dad, Riley getting sick, Tory's Loss, Evelyn's house. I wont even mention Trevor's final grades this year. A tree does fall in the woods when a butterfly flaps its wings in this household.

I just had a call from a company I interviewed with last December, before major crisis mode. They just called back. They want to interview me again. Big sigh, I don't know what I should do. I have been wanting to go back to work for ages now. I needed something to fill my days while the boys were at school. It is part time work in that it is not all week. Just two to three days a week to start, but full days. It is a specialty shoe store for medical shoes and people that are really into comfortable and expensive shoes. I would need to be trained, as proper fit is all important for this particular store.

In my first interview I was told my job would be to convince the customer that their views on looks and fashion need to change. They come to this store because they have foot or leg pain issues. They are looking for solutions not stilettos. The shoes on display cross the spectrum of tastes from wholesome to attractive flats, and walking shoes, and boots. No pointy toed dress shoes allowed.

I thought it might be something not quite ordinary and potentially interesting when I interviewed back in December. A friend works there part time and said there might be an opening. I wanted something not too demanding of my time and energies, but still hold my interest. I look forward to finding out what they are looking for in an employee.

I went into my closet to find an appropriate pair of shoes first for this interview. Something conservative and comfortable, no sexy summer sling backs. I'll match the clothes to the shoes for this interview.

My mother in law may be coming to visit for a while and this could be a nice foil. I could work and she would be home with the kids. I raise my brow in thought. This could work well. Last time she came the house was kept cleaner than it has since I had the high school student next door coming to clean, when the boys were small.

Back then our expenses were less. The club hadn't taken such a huge bite out of our income. I liked the company in the country, and so did the girl who came over. Her parents often weren't home from work when she cleaned. We did great projects. She helped me move furniture and paint walls. She vacuumed and picked up. What ever I wanted done she was game, and as bored as I, without a social life. I could afford her because she didn't ask for much money, since I was about the only business in the neighborhood, and she liked to hang out with me and the boys. Often she would just drop by to see what I was doing, what project I had going, and stay to help. I would pay her after the fact because I was so grateful for her help. Sometimes we would just sit on the stools in the kitchen and talk. She would tell me her thoughts and I would give her my opinions.

Her mother was a dear friend of mine. We had become acquainted when they moved next door. She had become pregnant shortly after I did. She had ended up on bed rest towards the end of her pregnancy so we would hang out together and just talk to keep her occupied. Her daughter loved being included in such an adult environment, hanging with the "women".

I am looking at my mother in law now from that perspective. Her bad knees prevent her from being too active, but she is easy company. She can also fill that supervisory void with the boys if I am working. Trevor may even become organized and a good student. Anyway, I will put a positive spin on it all regardless. Tom and I had been thinking she would be a great asset if Riley has to go to the hospital. Trevor would not be neglected. There would be someone here for him 24/7. After December Riley should be well and Evelyn could find her own place close by.

December to December, what a strange year for us. It truly has been one disaster after another. But we are resilient and bounce right back at every challenge. I like the thought of extra income. Mother in Law moving in for a while is perfect timing for me to take a part time job. Now I just have to give a good impression at the interview and get the job.

For all those job hunters out there, Tom says just walk in to the store. That is what I did. I did not call first, I just dressed up and took my resume with me. I also did my resume Real Estate style with my picture in the upper corner so they could put a face to the name, like they have on some business cards. That wont work for some jobs. Photos aren't allowed on government applications or the school district. But for a small store it is appreciated. My sister told me she had 1300 applications for a receptionist position she advertised. I am thrilled that after six months, the owner of the store called. I probably need to thank my girlfriend that already works there for keeping my name alive.

Life is not dull.

Stuffy nose

One of the toddlers at the beach began to have a stuffy nose while we were down there. Luckily the boys were in the tent and the babes were in the house. By Friday morning the running nose had turned into a full blown attack of coughs and difficulty breathing. My girlfriend got up at 5:00am to give the boy a nebulizer treatment to see if that would help.

When she got up, I got up. I couldn't sleep with that poor child coughing. This particular child has given them lots of health issues to deal with, so his mom was calm about the wheezing and coughing. She was worried on our account because of Riley. Coughing is a big no no. So, at 5:00 am I get up and strip my bed. It's the last day and clean up day. I toss on the first load of laundry and catch a shower. I figure I might as well get started on the house cleaning because it takes hours with the laundry.

My dear friend is really very understanding about it all. I tell her I want that boy closer to a hospital than we are at the end of the peninsula. She calls and gets an appointment with the child's doctor for that morning. She can drive straight to his office, without stopping at home first. She is packed and out the door by 7:00 am.

I start wiping down surfaces in hopes of containing any germs. I am not very good at it. All my good cleaning friends have left. Its just me this trip. I do get all the beds done and made, which is huge. There are three doubles and three twins in the loft. My girlfriend who left the day before had done the beds her family had used, but I still had the other half plus toy clean up.

My mom tells me she spent a day and a half cleaning up after I cleaned up. She always comes down the day after my visit to check things out. I did not get the toys put away properly and I had not mopped the floors and swept well downstairs. This is why I love the cleaning service and I leave cash. Had she but seen it before I made my effort. Maybe it's best not to have seen it.

We did have fun, but I realize I am not in the toddler faze any more. These boys were work. That cabin is a booby trap. They would dump out blocks and legos and mix them up. Mom has everything sorted and categorized. In the sorted toy box, things were not sorted anymore, by the end of the week. There is no place to hide the toys to prevent the toddlers from getting into everything at once. It is just a wide open room with open buckets of colorful toys.

So, I rush my friend with her sick child out of the house and on the road to the doctor and home. The poor woman says she hasn't been up this early in years. Rise and shine. Tom gets up this early every day for work, I reason with myself that it isn't that early.

One day later Riley has a stuffy nose. I am pushing fluids, lots of water. I would like to flush what ever is in his system out. I don't want Riley's stuffy nose to become anything more than that, a stuffy nose.

His energy level has been down, also. Sleeping in really late, but it is summer and Trevor has been sleeping in. It is nice to have another teen age gage in the house. Is this normal teen age summer sleeps or something more? Hard to tell. He gets up for his pills then goes back to bed for another couple of hours. Thursday is the blood draw.

Home Sunday night

At 11:00 am Tom came into the bedroom and asked if I could make him my special cheese omelet. I felt so tired, but I rolled out of bed. I was also trying to avoid the disaster of my house. Having been virtually on the road for 3 weeks between our DC NY trip and the beach, the house and laundry is overwhelming.

My first routine each morning is to flip a load of laundry. In our house we do at least two loads a day. It was more before we bought the front loader, which holds at least half again as much as a top loader. Without the agitator in the way, you can fit a lot more in each load. I call the boys upstairs, tearing them away from TV and ask them to help. They bring pant hangers and coat hangers. I show Trevor again how to properly hang pants. We get most of the balcony cleared of laundry needing to be put away.

I also clean up the garbage and the spilled cat food from last night. I had seen it going to bed, but at 1:30 am I opted to walk by the mess. I knew it would still be there the next day and it was. By the time I get the dishes going and the counters cleaned an hour has passed. I make Tom that omelet he has patiently been waiting for.

Trevor goes out to mow the lawn and Riley gets the mail. The mail stack takes two trips. It has not been picked up in a while. I spend time sorting through it and tossing. I love the tossing. Move it out of the house as quickly as possible, before it becomes more clutter. I can't figure out how people can keep that paper clutter hidden. I am barely down to a dull roar.

I worked in the yard a little weeding. I also found a box of garbage tucked around the side of the house. Out of sight out of mind. I finally dragged it to the cans out front to be disposed of this week. The cans are full though, since we weren't around last week to take them to the street on garbage day. We wont forget this week.

I have to figure out how to adjust my sprinklers. A couple of plants are being missed and suffering. Just tackling what I did today though feels like an accomplishment. I can tell that my energy since giving blood is sapped. I will need to spread out my donations a few more months.

Riley and Trevor play on the computer in the afternoon. We are out of bread so Tom gives Trevor money to go to Fred Meyer on his bike and buy bread to go with spaghetti dinner. I put bratwurst in the spaghetti which Tom loves and the boys hate. I give the boys the option of Alfredo sauce instead.

Now it is a lovely Sunday evening and I am going to bed early so I can get up early and tackle more of this mess in the house. I am about ready to just start tossing these half made model sets just to have them gone. Maybe I will ban the boys from computer use until the models are finished. That sounds like a plan.

slip

Today one of Tom's relatives got married. It was a lovely wedding set at the new husband's family home, on a hill overlooking the valley and the family's the filbert orchards. The young couple look so content.

I drive home and all three men need to use the bathroom. The drive is over an hour, but we make it. As I am unloading dishes in the kitchen I hear the thump of someone sliding on the stairs. I turn in time to see Riley bounce down several stairs.

I can't stop the scream that rises in my throat. He has slipped in his white socks. He catches the rail, but he has bounced on at least four or five stairs. No bumps or bruises the doctor said. My heart is in my throat. He sees my expression and his own fear is reflected. He gets up and comes down the rest of the stairs and gives me a hug. I shudder.
"It's OK Mom" he says.

I ask where he hit and he says just his Butt. I check him over for bruises. A couple of welts are appearing but so far nothing serious. I will check again later.

Tom wants us all to stay up and watch a movie. I think that is a good idea. At least then I can see if Riley did do something serious internally without being obvious. Though I think he is fine. No serious organs in his butt, just pride and a tearfully over reacting and apologetic mom.

Oysterville

Our friend paces around the house outside waiting for his mother. We don't normally go into Longbeach. I am all about moms putting up their feet and the children going off on their bikes exploring or reading quietly. This one is a busy boy needing constant entertaining. he wants his mother to drive him into town and supply funds for entertainment. Once his mom arrives she takes him into town with the other children and parents.

One day of town for me is plenty. the next day I opt to stay home and nap. Riley also opts out one day. The other teen agers go horse back riding and do race cars. They do laser tag on the day Riley goes with them so Riley is able to participate.

My favorite activities though, are the hours at the beach; the hide and seek in the dunes and watching the sunset. One evening Trevor puts on a life jacket and goes wading in the cold surf. This area is prone to drowning incidents so any water time is with life jackets. I allow them to get wetter and deeper when they wear the life jackets. Trevor is terrifying otherwise.

Trevor and I set up the tent the second day and agree that our more experienced camping friend Janae, who moved away, is sorely missed. The tent is up but it has a droopy appearance we never can solve. The boys are out in the tent all week. They run a power cord from the barn so they can watch Red Box movies late at night on the computer. I get up to go to the bathroom at 2:00am and I can hear them giggling and talking.

Riley knows where a stack of old Sports Illustrated swim suit additions from past years is stored. Riley has brought them out to the tent to share. Well, it could be worse. The other moms don't mind.

The children have a lovely week but it is more activity than I am used to for my quiet beach vacation. I have to come home to rest.

This trip though I am smart when unloading the car. I back onto the grass so the unload occurs near the front door with no chance of running over things left behind the car by accident in the dark. I am so disappointed we lost that cool pull cart within days by leaving it under the tires in the dark, the night we got home.

My tiredness could also be attributed to donating blood last week. I am just beat. The house looks like an explosion hit it and I am too tired to deal with it. I tell the boys some things that need to get done and get Tom's help. Then I go to bed exhausted from my relaxing vacation.

Kicked out

I am trying to keep the summer full of activities and fun for the boys. As a result I did not check with Tom first when a friend called asking if her son whose weekend play date had fallen through, could come to our house Saturday night for a sleep over. I suggest he stay through Monday and we will meet the mom in O'ville bringing him with us.



Tom said he wished he had been consulted. He had been looking forward to a quiet weekend at home after our trip to DC. The boy arrived Saturday night. By Sunday morning Tom tells us to go to Oysterville a day early. I am still cleaning and unpacking, but he says go. So I load everyone and everything into the car and take off.


It is rainy and overcast when we get down to the beach on Sunday. Oysterville is the worst in the rain. We stay in the upstairs of a barn on my parents' property. It is an open room with no privacy. Great for a free week at the beach in good weather. Cramped for bad weather.



The place is full of ancient furniture. These are the pieces that didn't make the cut to go to nicer accommodations. knobs are falling off drawers or drawers themselves are falling off if you are not careful. It is "night at the museum" of 1863. I usually pitch a tent for the boys in the yard to minimize the damage to the house. They can use the toilet as needed. I prefer them to find an obscure place outside if they can. They are boys after all.




Last year there were bears. We did not come down. I didn't want to bring our dog or have the tent up. It was also right after my Dad died and I was cleaning out his house. Really July is the only month I can go with August being football. I was exhausted and just didn't make it.
This spring 10 black bears were captured. five had to be put down as too domesticated. A woman had been feeding them dog food in the area. The other five were relocated. But I am now a little paranoid about food in the tent.


This winter my mom mentioned she wasn't sure we loved the place enough. WE didn't use it enough. I knew we had to make it down this summer for sure.


The drive down, the car is so full I can't see out the back windows of the Jeep. I have a roof box full of three sleeping bags, the big old fashioned kind with flannel lining showing geese flying out of reeds on a yellow background, and hunter green exterior. They are bulky and heavy, and not water proof, but they are so warm and cozy and soft. I love the feel of them. We have pictures of my sisters and me in these sleeping bags, when we were little, on a trip camping in Kanita in Eastern, Oregon. My boys now use them.



I have one slick fluffy nylon sleeping bag,. But the boys were using it to slid down the stairs and ripped the zipper out. I had to sew the seam closed until part way up so we could still us the sleeping bag. I banned them from sliding down the stairs with it, but I know if I am not in the house and the thought crosses their minds, I wouldn't put it past them to pull out that slick sleeping bag and go for it. Right now with Riley sick I know he has a good sense of self preservation. He wont be doing any sliding. But he might put his brother up to it.


Gigi does have beds with bedding, but if you use the beds then at the end of the week you have to strip all the beds and do laundry. You get stuck for hours doing laundry on the last day. She says to just strip the beds and she will come down to do the laundry, but I know she loves to find the place just how she left it. Sleeping bags on the beds make the last day much easier.


She did hire a cleaning lady a couple of years ago. I loved that because it took all the pressure off the last day. But then Mom is pretty frugal and she didn't want to use the cleaning service and did the cleaning herself. I left a check one year for the service and Gigi ripped it up. So now we leave cash. Gigi wont tear that up. Then if I miss something cleaning or she finds something broken, which happens almost every trip with all these "treasures" , She can get it repaired or not get tooo mad at me.



In the roof box are also a case of toilet paper and a case of paper towels. We use a lot of toilet paper. My mom's rule is to replace what you use. So I just bring down my own. That fills the roof box.


In the car are the kites and food and the cooler and our clothes that did not fit in the roof box. Somewhere among that the children are squeezed in. We have to bring down a five gallon water cooler. The house and barn are on a shallow well. It went really bad about ten years ago. There is a spigot on the front of the property that has city water. It would cost $3000 to $5000 to hook up the houses to the city. Gigi opted for $500 and a spigot. She keeps water bottles in the fridge to drink. We warn every one not even to rinse your tooth brush in the sink unless you want the runs.


I remember one summer seaweed or green algae coming out of the tap. I forgot one day two years ago and took a drink without thinking. It was not a good thing. I sat in the shower eating pepto when I got home. I hadn't been able to get my clothes off and make it to the toilet.

There is a little red wagon in the barn. The boy's job is to take the blue cooler in the wagon to the front of the property and fill it with the drinking water and then wheel the now heavy cooler back to a bench on the patio, where it is convenient to use for everyone. A useful outcome of this is it keeps the children out of the very small kitchen area in the barn. They get their water outside.


The kitchen area has a sink, a washer and dryer, and a microwave, and Turkish manufactured refrigerator. Gigi wanted a smaller model fridge, but bigger than the hotel size. The fridge is two feet wide and five feet tall. It has a small ice compartment on the inside that fills up with frosty ice and needs to be defrosted constantly when you use it. A small table with four "gently used" wood chairs is tucked under the stairs. The chairs are painted a cheery burgundy that matches the vinyl mini squares in the floor. But don't wiggle in them or the joints might come loose. Two metal cabinets keep dishes and dry goods clean and safe from ants and rodents that might try to break in.



The building itself is a fortress of construction. Oysterville is a historic community, built around 1850 and later. It is one of the first white man settlements on the west coast. End of the Oregon Trail. It was the county seat for a while, until settlers on the main land side of the bay snuck over by boat and stole all the papers from the one room court house.

Gigi had her house built during the summer of 1982. She hired a couple of shop teachers from a private school in Portland. Master carpenters like This Old House on PBS. They had a crew that came down and lived in the village. Mom paid for their stay at a rental down the street. She cooked all their meals and just had a fun summer watching her little cottage grow.

There had been a building on the sight, but it had been abandoned too long to be salvaged. Gigi had got a great deal on the acre and a half. After salvaging what she could from the existing building, it was tearfully bulldozed. She had saved a cast iron tub and a couple of doors.

Everything had to be historic. No vinyl windows, and only cedar siding and roof. Gig wanted to keep it all natural and not paint the cedar, but she also didn't want it to weather or turn silver. She had been given a recipe of linseed oil and turpentine to slather on the cedar to protect it from the harsh beach elements. She was told to put it on until it wouldn't absorb anymore. The stuff went on so thick and heavy it was sticky. The whole side of the house became one big fly trap for the bug infested neighborhood. She had to power wash the siding the next year and re measure the recipe to stop it from being sticky. It also turned the siding almost black in color. But she liked the look.

The little cottage turned out to be a bit small when company came so a few years later the men came back and erected the barn. When the barn went up it gave everyone breathing room. The little cottage was off limits to children. Entrance was by invitation only.

While we are down at the beach, we are barn only visitors. We roll up in my jeep and start to unload. The first thing is the bikes have to come off so the bike rack can be removed so the trunk can be opened. As I mentioned we were pretty loaded down. Then the children have to be told they need to finish unloading before they take off on the bikes.

Gigi has an adult tricycle, Big had bought her a couple of years ago. She has ridden it once. It is a Rolls Royce of bikes. Riley sees it in the garage and realizes it is his opportunity to keep up. His eyes gleam. He is not allowed to ride bikes at the moment. Doctors orders. I tell him he has to call Gigi and ask permission. This is one real treasure, its "special" . She hesitantly gives permission.

The bike is turned upside down under a tarp to discourage any thought that it might be available for use. We up end it and inflate the tires. It sparkles in the sun. The other bikes in the garage look rusty and beat up. This bike is new and still has the stems on the tires from lack of riding. Riley is thrilled. The other boys don't even think he looks dorky. They think the bike is cool also, with its big basket on the back.

After the car is unloaded, Its damp and raining so I opt not to set up the tent. I raise seats on bikes and pump tires. The boys take off on their respective bikes. I have breathing room. I pull out my beach book and relax. Tomorrow my friends arrive for a relaxing week of sudo camping. The barn is set up to be just comfortable enough for a fun week, but not so comfortable that you would overstay.

Upstairs the token TV gets two stations in black and white. It is there only because my nephew is autistic and it is a good babysitter when the adults need a break. Otherwise we are pretty technology free. Riley brought his computer only because of his condition, otherwise I would have banned it from the trip. There is no Internet, but he has a CD to play.

Once it is dark the boys play on the computer, but I call bedtime and lights out after 10:00. Once the tent is set up tomorrow, they can stay up as late as they want as long as the neighbors are not disturbed.

Moments remembered

Albert was not able to join us for dinner the night of Indian food. That did not stop him from taking Tom out on the town for a guys night out. they hit a favorite watering hole. When they got
back at 2 in the morning, Tom was happy. He said a woman gave him the" foot tap" under the table. He seemed to think that a lovely young New York lady made a pass. He did braid the hair of another woman, which we all know is one of his favorite things to do when having a good time.

My hair has never been full or long enough to interest him. I think he was a hair dresser in a previous life. I would have said a sailor but he so hates the water. Maybe he was kidnapped and forced into the royal navy, that might explain his dislike of water. When we were in Baltimore the boys had wanted to do the paddle boats, but tom would have none of it. He did not like the idea at all. Time prevented us from pressing the point.

Routine

The lawn is mowed. All the laundry is done and put away. Trevor went to a football camp today. Anthony Newman does a free camp. At least he did. He announced this was his last camp. He has been doing it for 17 years and he is now done. I was sad to hear his end of day speech. from what I could tell it was exceptionally well organized and Trevor sounded like he picked up some great tips on defense.

Football season starts in August. We do not travel for the next 3 months. I am looking forward to the season. I get to see old friends again. Even though Trevor and Riley had a losing season last year, they loved football and had fun. I am guessing Riley got sick either during football season or shortly there after. the only cold I can remember is during football. Riley missed a week of school and football in October. He then ran into the garage door and knocked it off its frame giving himself a big contusion on his forehead, missing another week since he couldn't wear his helmet due to the big lump on his forehead.

February 9th was diagnosis, but by then Riley was so low he was lucky he didn't just expire right then. November, December, January decline. I look at this now as just a long flu. By December Riley will be over this "Flu". His numbers may come up. Tom says it is too early to tell what is going to happen. If they don't come up we have half a dozen excellent bone marrow matches to choose from. If I have anything to be grateful about it is how "white" tom and I are. We used to joke about glowing in the dark. Now I am so glade we are so ordinary that Riley "has the luxury of choosing a donor" as the doctor put it.

We get one more family trip in October, which again will be fun for everyone. Tom is so into Nascar, I get in trouble if I forget to Tivo the weekend race when Tom can't watch it live. Riley will be so thrilled to meet Jr. and just being and a race, Trevor Too. I am along for the ride. I love family vacations, period. I will take them any time I can get them.

Trevor will have tutoring coming up. Grades were an issue this year. He has been nagging Riley for use on Riley's computer. I remind him constantly that honor role As and Bs gets him his own computer. Hopefully he will connect the dots and get the grades. Meanwhile I will occasionally make Riley share. I have to be careful because Riley learned immediately that he has the power, and wheeled that power over Trevor with a little too much gloating. I like the power to confiscate all the computers the X box and the TV. Its summer go play outside.

Our new sprinkler system works like a charm. 10 minutes front yard then 10 minutes back yard. Tom tells me it goes off at 5:30am while we are still asleep. Trevor has learned how to set it off when ever he and the neighbor boys want to run through them. Its great in that it automatically shuts itself off just about the time the children lose interest.

Monday Last night out

I asked the concierge if he had any recommendations for dinner. He gives me a list. The restaurants are listed by area and expensive or inexpensive and if formal attire is necessary. We pick Chinese and take a cab to China town on the other side of the mall. tom still refuses to do subways. The restaurant has Mongolian downstairs and Chinese upstairs. We opt for Mongolian. You pick your ingredients and watch the chef cook it. It is supposed to be all you can eat but we are full after one bowl. We were so hungry the whole meal takes maybe 20 minutes if you push it including the cooking. Tom laughs and asks what we are going to do for the rest of the evening. it still hasn't really cooled off yet.

This was supposed to be the inexpensive Chinese. The bill comes and its $20 per person because we had done the Mongolian style. For warned for next time. It was still fun to do. I wait outside while Tom pays. While waiting a taxi drops off another group right in front of the restaurant. I ask the woman driver if she will take us down to the Lincoln memorial, which we have not gotten to yet. She says yes but to not leave her car door open in this heat while we wait for Tom. No problem I pop into her air conditioned taxi and we wait.

She is the best taxi driver we have had. She knows some history of the city. she tells us to note the different colored granite on the Washington memorial. Three different batches were used the first was when they started but then ran out of money the second was the restart and the third was because they didn't order enough granite on the restart. You can really see the difference between stage one and two. Stage three they tried to get a close match but you can tell its a different batch if you look closely.

She drops us off at the Korean war monument. Soldiers walking through a field. A black granite wall with faces of soldiers looking out is the back drop. it also encloses the soldiers so you cant see the traffic on the street just beyond.

The next memorial is Lincoln. He is huge and dramatic. Much like Liberty in New York, you can feel the drama of the memorial. The view from the top of the steps down the reflecting pool and the Mall Museums is also impressive. Trevor asks if the reason the pond is called the reflecting pool is because of the reflection of the Washington Memorial in the water. Yes.
Cyclone fence is set up around the reflecting pool today due to the fireworks the night before. Tom sees all the cardboard on the ground and guesses the fencing was up to protect the crowds from debris fall out.

We walk over to the Vietnam War memorial with all its names. There are notes leaning up against the wall. You can read some of them that are in clear sleeves. One is from a grand child wishing he had met his grand father. An Uncle had told him wonderful stories about the man. Another was the official record of the soldier being killed in hostile fire with the location and date. I walk through a little choked up and quiet. The boys meet me at the other end. Tom shows up after that. He was as moved as I.

The WWII memorial comes next It is a circular fountain with 50 pillars with copper wreaths representing each state surrounding it . At the edge is a plaque listing George W Bush and the architect as the dedicators in 2004. That irritated me a little. None of the other memorials listed the president in office at the time of dedication. GW couldn't quite leave off his name. I thought it a little petty. But the Memorial itself was beautiful and tasteful and fit in well with the rest of the mall.

We couldn't walk the length of the reflecting pool because of the fence and I was tired and my dress up flip flops with beads and turquoise were hurting my toes. So I flagged a cab and took the boys back to the hotel. Trevor told me now I knew how he felt the night before when his feet hurt. Tom wanted to walk and take in the atmosphere. The drama of the Mall is incredible, especially after the tourists have all left for the day. The huge and gorgeous museums full of the wealth of history of our country stand wondrously powerful.

I can't believe we survived 10 days sharing hotel rooms and small spaces as well as we did. The rare disagreement was fleeting. I am sorry the trip is coming to a close.

The fireworks

The night before Tom had been watching TV in our room and I had felt that I had not come 3000 miles to watch TV when the mall was right out the front door of the hotel. I had decided to take a walk in the evening and see some monuments. Tom made Trevor go with me. But in his rush to follow orders Trevor had worn Rileys flip flop. They were not comfortable and hurt his feet. It made me cranky to be taking a lovely walk with a whiny boy. Next time he must wear his shoes. Some times it is better to take the extra time or help Trevor find his shoes and not just shove him out the door willy nilly.



It limits our walk. We can't go the distance I had intended. Probably just as well as it got dark quickly after sunset. There were police everywhere though, watching out for all the tourists. Again, we were surprised there weren't more crowds.



Trevor and I stop at the Air space museum as we see people going in the door. It was closed though but there is an IMAX theater showing Iron Man II. I tell Trevor maybe another night. We keep walking.



We walk all the way to the Washington Memorial. Trevor touches the walls. He asks if it is as tall as the World Trade Center were. I will have to take the boys to down town when I get home so they can get perspective on sky scrapers again. DC has no buildings over 5 stories. Nothing is allowed to be taller than the Washington monument at 555 feet. I love not feeling towered over by sky scrapers. The whole layout is so beautiful with the Greek influences. There is even a model of the Acropolis in one of the museums to show the inspiration. But up close leaning against the granite walls of this monolithic obelisk, it does feel impressive.



The world trade center buildings were at least 120 stories over 1200 feet. You couldn't see the tops when you leaned away from the buildings. You could only see the tops when at a distance. Here we were at the center of America's political world, having just come from the center of our financial world. Standing touching the cold granite with the lights illuminating its solid walls, even in the 80 degree heat if the evening, Trevor and I had tingles down our spines.



Trevor's feet hurt to walk any further so I opt out of continuing down to the reflection pool. You could see there was a concert going on the steps of the Lincoln memorial. You could see the flashes from cameras and hear the faint music and cheering crowd. We turn and head back to the hotel. The vendors are closing up shop for the evening. Tom texts me to see where we are and I text back we are almost there. I just wish Trevor had worn his comfortable shoes and we would have walked to that concert.





So, both Tom and I have checked out the best locations to view the fireworks. We have found the crowds are not bad at the Capital Hill side of the monument. We walk down the mall past tents. some are labeled Asia, Mexico, children's crafts. They are all empty. I wondered why. One was having a barbecue. But again the lack of crowds or lines surprised us. We find a fringe of warn weeds and grass to sit and view. After walking almost to the Monument again. Tom mentioned the Capital Steps, but I knew the fireworks were around the reflection pools. We had watched a show about the set up on the Discovery channel. We had found out that the display would last only 20 minutes. Had we a radio we could have heard the symphony playing patriotic songs with the display.



The fireworks began big and stayed strong. Lots of big round fireworks. From our position on the grass, the Washington Monument was smack dab in the middle of it. I guess it was appropriate. Definitely reminded us of where we were. it did make Tom and me laugh. We had tried so hard to find just the right spot. Off the mall trees would have blocked our view. We had seen a party on the balcony of the Smithsonian building American History. We had walked over to see how we could get ourselves invited. The security guards had told us it was a private party hosted by the secretary of the Smithsonian, not someone we could afford to bribe. Their view would have been spectacular.



So on the well worn grass we sat with the Monument right in the middle of our view. Tom had thought the fire works would be high enough to clear the top. They weren't. But they were so big lighting up the sides that it was still spectacular. Trevor asked if the finally had been an accident. So many had gone off at once he thought there must have been a mistake.



Tom and I are something of affectionatos when it comes to fire works. Seattle has wonderful displays. I grew up seeing the fire works at Lake Oswego. We would go to Fort Vancouver displays a few times. Then Tom discovered the lack of limitations on fireworks in Longview and would spend over $1000 at the Indian reservations. He and a friend would let off a display in our own yard that puts our Oregon small town displays to shame. Its one of the reasons we try not to be in Oregon for the fourth anymore.



I figure the spending money we took on this trip would have gone to fireworks this year if we hadn't been ion this trip. It was a break even proposition, win win. Here we were seeing one of the most impressive firework displays in the country. We oohed and Aaahed with glee.



I did get a momentary catch in my throat at the beginning when I chanced to remember where I had been last year. My dad passed away July 1, 2009. My sister Jen and her family were with me clearing out my Dad's house. We had walked up the hill to the local elementary school and watched the valley fireworks at a distance. There weren't much local family fireworks in the desert because of the fire hazard. Tom had done tank wars with the boys but he had also had a low key fourth last year.



This year we were making it up with a vengeance. Wow, it was worth coming 3000 miles to see. next time though our seats are going to be on the Lincoln Memorial side so the Washington Monument is the back drop, not the centerpiece.



After the fireworks ended we walked back to the hotel. Even then the crowds weren't bad. Police were out directing traffic. I think they had closed the capitol streets for the day. As we passed the subway station, we did see crowds packed around the entrance. That made the expensive hotel worth every penny. We got to head to the bar for a drink while everyone else, all 150,000 plus, headed for a tight and crowded subway.



The next day, Monday, when we went down for breakfast, families were packed and leaving the hotel. We had the restaurant virtually to ourselves. Riley wants to relax with his dad so I take Trevor to the Museum of Galleries. This is Americas collection of paintings both American artist and from Europe. There are also sculptures. I love this museum and could wonder these rooms for hours. These paintings are the equivalent to modern photo albums. They capture a time before photography. The details are amazing. You can stare at a painting and see something new every instant. The building is a beautiful piece of architecture in itself with garden rooms at each end and a huge Pantheon ceiling. A painting of the Pantheon can be found in one of the Italian artists rooms.



The boys had a book called Where's Waldo. The object was to find this man in every photo and the photo would have great detail. I feel that with the Dutch and Italian and English artists. A street scene catches the moment. A mother nursing a child, a dog peeing on a building, a boy playing jacks in the street while vendors sell food to the maids, soldiers smoke while leaning on their weapons. Another painting is of a funeral by ship. You can see the drummer playing the dirge while women weep and men look on stoically. These are powerful paintings.



Trevor stops at Daniel in the Lions' Den, a huge painting probably 10 feet long. The artist has made the lions angry with their noses crinkled and their teeth bared. Human bones lie about the cave.



A sculpture catches his eye in another room. Its the memorial of Bostonian Colnol Shaw with his all black Brigade on their march to be slaughtered in the attack on Fort Wagner in the Civil War. Those men knew they would not survive yet walked with purpose and fortitude captured in this memorial. The movie Glory is based on this moment.



Trevor bores of looking at paintings. I am not even half done. We head down to the basement where a concourse connects this museum to the museum of modern art. A moving ramp with twinkling lights lining the walls and the ceiling, painted black for dramatic effect, greets us down stairs. The ramp is very cushy, enough of a ride that Trevor is content to ride the ramp back and forth while I race upstairs to see one of the newest building on the mall.



Beautiful architecture but I found the open plan with the few pieces of sculpture a little disappointing. With all the modern artists in our country there didn't seem to be enough on display. It was more about the building than the artists. I guess you could get away with it with the Hirtshorn just across the mall. It also is a modern art museum. Trevor and I head back to the hotel



Everyone has left the hotel the day after the fourth of July. The pool that afternoon was empty but for us. It was lovely and I got extremely burnt. I sent the boys down to the room for sunblock which they applied but did not bring it back with them. I was tucked under a tree thinking I was safe from the sun. But I ended up with a painful sunburn. As I was waiting in the lobby for the boys the next day, a man stopped to tell me how painful my sun burns looked. Yes, I do know its painful.



I have the bell hop call a town car for us. Jen has told me they are about the same price as a taxi and so much nicer. We pack that night with our cloths for tomorrow set out. All our souvenirs need to fit into our bags and the breakables need to make it home undamaged. The boys and I have breakfast as usual and bring Tom his coffee. We have an hour before we need to go to the lobby, but I don't want to listen to the TV so I find a quiet corner in the lobby to hang until it is time. I read my book that I have rarely opened the whole trip. Who has time with all there is to see. When ever I sit down its bed time.



The town car comes. It looks like a limo. Black and beautiful with that fake mahogany and leather seats. An upgrade from the torn taxi seats and the dirty exteriors. The boys are impressed. We are flying out of Reagan International. $38 plus tip for a 15 minute drive. But its "styling". Last day splurge, we had to go in style.



Reagan Airport surprises me. It is one small terminal. Almost like a small town airport. No wonder they had to build a new airport further out. The computers are down when we arrive so checking our bags takes waiting in the front of the line for 20 minutes. When we go through security Riley misplaces his boarding pass. Turns up in my bag next to mine. I must have picked it up with mine without noticing. Nothing like a little stress before take off. We all handled it well. The airport is so small they would have just given him a new one at the gate.



The airport has one bar and one book store and one souvenir shop. The boys go to check out the souvenir shop. Tom goes to the bar. We have two hours until our plane. I pull out my book. Riley comes back with a new paperback. We read until boarding time. We have upgraded our seats for the extra 6 inches. It is amazing how much difference 6 inches can make. $25 each seat, it also makes us one of the last to board the plane. Stretch seats are in the front few rows only. My bag fits under my seat. I love not having to put it in the overhead. I like to get into my bag at least twice during a flight, pulling a book out or getting out a magazine or getting money or my card out.



I found that airlines don't take cash anymore, credit card only. I like not worrying about change.

We land in Denver only to find a storm cell right over the airport. Our connecting flight has been re routed to Colorado Springs. The boys play on the moving ramp for 30 hours. Finally the weather clears enough for our plane to land and be cleaned and re boarded. We are not going to get in at 7:45 pm, arrival time will be 11:00 pm.



My parents pick us up at the airport. They have brought two cars so they can go straight home and so can we. I drive this time, its familiar territory. We unload the bags and I throw on a load of laundry before falling asleep.



The next day I drive the car over our brand new roll away carrier that I picked up for $25 at Penn station. In the dark it had fallen to the ground behind the car and been missed in the unload.



The cats whined and cried at us all the first day home, because I didn't give them canned food like the boy who took care of them the last two weeks. The front lawn was beautiful and mowed but the back yard was six inches tall and took hours to tame. The exercise felt good and the house was in good shape considering we had abandoned the cats in it for 10 days. I had shut all the doors upstairs to keep the cats off the beds. the bribery of canned food every day seems to have worked. There was no revenge damage to be found.



Trevor went to sleep with a cat on his pillow and we had a dog on ours. Riley slept hard within minutes of lieing down, and then took a long soak in the tub the next day.



I went to see my sister and give her my condolences. She has house guests from the east coast that arrived to support her and do their own grieving. it will take time, a lot of time. What I have learned is to enjoy the moment. I am so glad we did this trip. I wish Tom had more vacation time, because I think we all benefited by having him around. Boys need their Dad. Tom had wanted to go because he was a civil war buff. I hope he feels as fulfilled as the rest of us. The boys will definitely remember this trip the rest of their lives.