They are back

The children returned home. I asked what their favorite moments were on the trip. Unanomously, they all said playing in the snow. They had been to Hood River and to a resort at the coast. Hood river won hands down. In an old decrepid barn full of rats they had gone hunting with a pellet gun, under adult supervision of course.



Trevor told me they climbed on the roof of the house and used the roof as a giant slide. Riley did not participate in this activity. I know the house. The back side butts up against a hill. It would make a fun slide. There is a small three foot drop at the end. it is just enough to give a thrill without giving the parents a heart attack. There is a drop on the other side of the house of 20 feet, but Trevor said they stayed away from that edge.

I remember climbing on the roof of my Grandmother's beach house at Sand Pines. You could climb up the wood pile and reach the roof. Tom tells me of swimming through the fish ladders at Detroit lake as a teen. My Mom told me of jumping off the gates at Bonniville Dam, way back when she was a teen. Its what they do, challenge themselves, get a little excitement. I know they wont be extreme sports participants. They were just looking for something to do with a little edginess. Sounds like fun. I would probably want to try it myself if I wasn't so old with bad knees.

They headed to the beach after a day of playing in the snow. This is the destination where in their own words "The event" happens. This hotel has an outdoor pool they keep heated. At this time of year the cold air creates a deep fog on the pool. Trevor has been swimming. His eyes are blood shot and tired. They are playing some game and swimming fast. He bumps into someone in the pool. All he does is brush her breasts accidentally in the water. That is all it takes. He backs off quickly, swimming away to his friends where he proceeds to tell them about the hot babe in the water he accidentally touched her breasts. His friend looks over at the woman, "Dude thats my mom".



What better compliment can a woman of five children, over the age of fifty, receive than being mistaken in the fog by a young teen as a "hot babe". Everyone laughed and it became known as "The event" .

The boys ran into another friend's daughter at the resort. Riley heard she was in the building and ran down to say hi. That is all he said, I understand. She is now a beautiful teen. Riley stands there looking at her, completely tongue tied. He ends up retreating back to his room for more video games, unable to carry on a conversation with his old friend who is now a beautiful teen. I know he will eventually learn to talk to girls, but at the moment he has reached that time where boys are boys and girls are girls. They don't play together. I guess the next faze is dating and I can put that off a long time.

I have been wrapping packages like crazy. I think that we now have a satisfying number without breaking the bank. Tom will shop on Christmas eve as usual. It is his tradition. He knocks it all out in four or five hours, what takes the rest of us weeks to accomplish.



I was putting names on the packages. I find labeling Tom's packages difficult. I don't call him Tom. I have never found that name fits him. He has always gone by our last name. We were introduced by his friends who all call each other by nicknames. It was easy to pick up the same habit. Now it just doesn't seem right when I use the name Tom.

It is such a normal and common name. Tom is a much richer and deeper person than his name. He needs a name more unique than Tom. Sometimes I can think of a few names to call him when I am not so happy with him, but right now I am really excited about the gifts I am giving him.

I spent a lot of time searching for books he would find interesting. He is a copious reader. My job is to find books he would not normally pick himself, yet still find interesting. Unique and different. I am really proud of my choices this year. Everything from a history book to a biography to a few fictions and award winners. He will love them all. I used Barns and Noble's web to find award winners. Then I spent hours at a book store thumbing through titles.
It is a Shirley thing to give books. My Dad was really big on giving books. He loved to stimulate the mind. He would be smiling and pleased to see the stack of books I was gifting.

Kids are gone

The children are gone for four whole days. Peace reigns at our house. I do have to work today, 11 to 5, but its short hours. Tom gets to have a quiet house. Last night I bought a chick flick Christmas movie called the Holiday with Cameron Diaz. It was very improbable and sweet. Tom and I loved it. We had wine and a romantic movie with no children in the house. It was a lovely evening.

We had both brought home left over pizza from our respective works so I didn't even have to cook. I did throw on a load of dishes from the morning. They were left from the children before they got picked up. We had a lovely cookie exchange at work the day before, I made up a platter to send with the boys. It was gone when I got home, so I know they didn't forget it. The quiet is heavenly. Three nights of bliss, no fights, no mess, romantic moments with the man I love.

I just hope all is well at the other end with the boys. Luckily this particular mom knows her stuff. Trevor gets to go because he is so good with babysitting her 4 year olds. She has two little boys that need constant activity and attendance. Trevor loves to feel useful and what better way than playing with children. He gets to go to a resort with a pool and play in the snow all for the price of playing with more children. As far as he is concerned there is no down side.

Riley goes because her other son is his best friend from infancy. She and I went through pregnancies together as next door neighbors. Riley and her son are six months apart in age. they are both highly intelligent nerds. Though her son is very active also. He can wear Riley out physically. When that happens she flips Trevor. Trevor gets to play with the big boy for a while. It does take two of mine to keep up with her older son. But everyone is happy, and she gets some quiet time theoretically.

I used to go on these trips with them upon occasion, but with work, I was happy just to send them off with a trusted friend. With so much time on this holiday, I was grateful when she offered to take them for four days. I just hope they behave.

Dreams

I have decided I don't like dreams. If I eat late at night before bed it causes me to have dreams. Last night's dream is beginning to fade, but I remember hospital hall ways. I knew it was the children's hospital. I was trying to find a private room to take a shower. The place was crawling with children. The only showers were in the common playroom where there was a water slide and pool. The shower stalls were lined up on one wall next to the water slide. The stall doors did not touch the floor, very little privacy. Children were playing but you could tell they were part of the hospital. Some had bald heads, while others had tubes coming out of their arms and chest. I ended up going down the slide into the pool and having to climb up the pool wall to the showers. I showered with my cloths on and then woke up.



Riley is going away today with a friends. They are taking him to play in the snow, then to the coast to play at a hotel on the beach. I don't think he has been drinking enough water. I can hear him when he goes to the bathroom. He leaves the door open. Everyone seems to leave the door open around here. When he urinates, the sound goes off and on. At his age it ought to sound like a waterfall. It is darker than it should be. These are all signs of kidneys working hard.

Tom wants Riley off his drugs. I do also. Riley is being sloppy with his pills, not keeping to his schedule well. I had to remind him after he went to bed the other night that his pills were still on the counter. I think I might call and schedule the doctor for the beginning of February rather than the end.

I received a call to reschedule our appointment to February 24. The Doctor will be gone on our other appointment date. I think I will call and ask for the tenth instead. We need to move on to the next faze whatever that may be. Hopefully, Riley is weaned off his pills and his numbers continue to improve. That would be dreamy.

I can't cook

I can't cook. When we were growing up we could sit on a stool in the kitchen and watch, but the kitchen was my mom's territory. No one could make messes in that room but Mom. Tom always asks for his rebate from my Mom about this time of the year. My biggest flaws, not good at cooking and not good at cleaning, become glaringly apparent during the holiday seasons.

One of my coworkers wants to do a cookie exchange. I have one recipe I do, pecan tarts. I have to make 5 dozen for the exchange. The first batch is delicious but not the most attractive. The sugar and butter filling covers the cookie so no pretty rim is visible. The first three dozen are unattractive balls of sweetness. deliciously edible but not pretty.

I decided to try and hurry the process. I get out cookie sheets and make balls of the cream cheese and butter with flour crust. I think that maybe they will be like sugar cookies and be able to hold enough shape. I use the tip of a wine cork to make the centers and pour in the sugar sauce. The oven is set at 375. The cookies go in to the oven. Shortly there after I turn around to see flames in the bottom of my oven.

The sugar filling in the cookies has poured out onto the elements and started a fire. Sadly this has happened enough before that I don't panic. I treat the kitchen fire like an every day occurrence. It doesn't even get my heart racing anymore. I turn off the oven and pull out the sheets of gooey cookies, laying the trays on the counter. Now I realize why they have to be cooked in those tiny muffin pans. Its a good thing to know for the future.

I go into the pantry and grab the box that contains the baking soda. I taste it to confirm that it is baking powder. I wouldn't want to accidentally use the powdered sugar. I then open the oven door and scatter the white powder. The fire instantly disappears.

I am luck to have two ovens. I make up another batch of cookies and finish the project using the upper oven. Once I am done cooking, I turn on the cleaning cycle on the lower oven to cook up all that mess. It will turn all that hard messy caked on sugar to ashes in a few hours, an easy clean up.

I sigh over the fact that even making Christmas cookies can turn into such a production.
I was even able to turn the stove fan on quickly enough that I didn't set off the fire alarms for once despite the black smoke billowing from the oven when I opened the door. The key is to be quick and then shut the door and keep it shut. Any smoke that would escape goes out the top, straight into the fan vents.

The boys come home from school. Riley says it smells like pizza. I tell him I was cooking in the ovens. They comment over the fact that if you don't look at the cookies while you eat them, they are delicious. I have over a dozen rejects on a plate in the kitchen, The ones that broke while being removed from the cupcake tin or were just too unattractive to serve. The boys devour them all. Within minutes every spare cookie is gone, over a dozen. I am hopeful my coworkers will respond the same way. The whole idea of the cookie exchange is to get homemade cookies. These cookies were made with love. No one goes knowingly into disaster without a little love involved. I could do without always setting fires to my kitchen. Even my boys don't get over excited when I botch the cooking.

Turning 50

We were supposed to be hosting a friend of Trevor's for the weekend but due to grades being below par that got canceled. Instead Tom and I headed to Seattle without children to see an old friend turn 50. His wife was hosting a dinner for him at a new restaurant in Bellevue. Tom and I got a room at the Marriott down the street from the restaurant.





The drive up to Bellevue was gruelling. There were flood watches . The rain poured down the whole way. Passing a truck was blinding. When we reached Tacoma, the traffic was stop and go on the freeway. Tom is driving with both hands on the wheel in case we hydroplane. We pass a car that has hydroplaned into the concrete meridian. The back end of the car is completely crunched. The police are just arriving to see if the driver is OK. What gets Tom is when there is no accident and still the traffic is slow or stopped, for absolutely no reason.



when we were dating and Tom lived in Eugene and I lived in Seattle, he could do the drive in 4 hours. He would start at two in the morning and miss all the traffic. This drive took us 4 hours to do half that distance. Seattle had heavy traffic on every freeway. It was Saturday, not even a work day, and people were driving everywhere. Tom comments that he wants to move to Montana where there aren't all these people on the roads.



We finally reach our destination. With a half hour to spare on our dinner reservations we have time to drop our luggage and car at the hotel and walk over to the restaurant.



The Wild Ginger has only been open a year. We have a private room in the back. The place is packed with parties. The location is in a new mall next to the Microsoft tower. Neiman Markus and Hermie's are just some of the stores. Swanky and very high end. Tom was lucky the stores were closed. I could blow some serious money in this neighborhood.



Dinner was Divine with a sea bass salad wrapped in fresh cabbage leaves, skewers of chicken and steak and scallops. I used to not like scallops but these were mouthwatering good. There were dipping sauces on the table.



I could have really indulged myself, but I was looking at all the beautiful wives in the room. They looked as young and as beautiful as when I knew them 20 years earlier. These women had stayed in shape. I don't know if it was because they had been chasing after their children for all these years or working out, but I was impressed. I was glad I had on a girdle under my dress so I didn't jiggle in the wrong places.



Our hostess was the wife of one of Tom's oldest and dearest friends. She had asked Tom to say a few words, so it was very important to Tom that we be there on time. A coworker had generously given her afternoon to sub for me so we could leave early enough to make the dinner.

I had my own toast I wanted to share. I had met Mark when I was dating just out of college. My date introduced us. They worked together. I ended up sharing a house on frat row with Mark and another man, when my college roommate and her boyfriend needed more space in the house we were sharing. Mark had a spare room at his house.

When Mark and my other house mate turned 30, they felt they needed to be home owners and have more mature digs. I became a tenant to help pay the mortgage on a town house Mark purchased.

Meanwhile, Mark had told me that an old school friend was coming to visit. This friend was turning 30 and divorced, and really depressed about life. Could I show him around Seattle while he was in town. This depressed friend turned out to be my future husband Tom. Mark told me over the course of the next six months he had seen more of Tom than in the last six years.

Mark and Tom go back to age twelve when Tom moved to Salem. They had a lot of history attending high school together. Tom's toast reflected those old times. I wanted to thank Mark for introducing us. 17 years of marriage, through fun and rough times, we are still together. It was kind of a "Wonderful Life" moment without the suicidal tendencies. Mark has impacted our lives. How different our lives would be if not for having met him. His wife gave Tom advice on how to court me when she was single and dating Mark. It seems like just yesterday except for the teenage children and weight gain I have put on.

Time magazine ran an article about marriage recently. The trend for successful marriages these days is that you have a college degree, wait until you are a little older when your career is established, and marry a peer or equal. You are more financially stable. More women are comfortable not getting married at all. More children are being born outside of marriage than in marriages especially to non college graduates.

Looking around the table at our good friends, I am pleased to note that most of the couples I know are still together. A few have fallen to the "D" word. I am Tom's second marriage. I owe a lot to his first wife. He finished college when she blew him off as a drop out Freshman. She taught him to compromise with his spouse or else. We are not perfect people. Learning to live with the flaws is half the battle. The other half is love and enjoyment of life.

The evening was a delightful catch up on every one's children. Some are reaching their senior years of high school and must now choose colleges. Tom warns me I must not live vicariously through our children. Let them make their own choices. Aah, but were is the fun of parenting in that. So, I give a little nudge in the right direction. Beaver nation is not the only nation in the world. Private schools have more scholarships.

Anyway, the party was a great success. The hostess even had adult goodie bags for all the guests. The bags had music CDs and beautiful blown glass wine corks. Tom and I walk back to our hotel while everyone else has to get in their cars and drive. In Seattle, no where is close.

In the morning, Tom slept in while I walked over to that expensive mall. He was lucky it was Sunday and nothing was open. The clothes in the windows were so wonderful. When I got back to the hotel I threatened Tom that if he didn't get me out of here before the stores opened he would be sorry in his pocket book. He crawled out of be and we checked out.

The drive home was almost as bad as the drive up. The rain was unrelenting, but this time we had all day to get home, so we could relax and not rush.

When we arrived home my sister looked exhausted. She is working two jobs these days. Every other weekend she works at a church downtown as the coordinator for events. She plans weddings and memorials and special events the church hosts. This weekend she had wanted to play with the boys. She took them all to the singing Christmas tree and then to the movie Tangled, and stayed up most of the night. The cousins all had fun. She on the other hand looked like she could due with a nap.

What a lovely weekend.

Size 10

I went to the thrift store to buy a pair of jeans for the weekend. We are headed to the Civil war, Oregon State Beavers against the Oregon Ducks. Probably the biggest deal in the whole year. Its our anniversary. How could I deny my season ticket holding husband the civil war game.







The Ducks have a perfect season going into the game, 10 and 0. The Beaver Nation hope is to knock them off that pedestal, ruin the perfect season. It would make up for the 5 and 5 season the Beavers have had. Some key players are injured on the Beaver team. It is unlikely that they will win. We will be happy if it isn't a total blow out. Vegas has the over under at 64. That is where the total points are added up. They also anticipate The Ducks scoring more than 45 points.







Tom gave up his excellent seats on the 35 yard line for four seats near the end zone, so the children could come with us.









I booked a hotel in August. Even then I had to hunt. But I got lucky on Hotels.com. One of the hotels had not changed to premium prices for that weekend yet. I got the hotel for $100 less a night than anywhere else. It was a good 50% discount. Two nights for the price of one.







We will drive down separately as Tom has to work and the boys are off due to a grade day for school. Riley had his first finals this week. He had to ask me what finals were. I laughed. It catches me off guard sometimes the things our children don't know.







Now Riley knows. They are really big tests on everything learned in the whole semester, that weigh heavily on your grade. He says he did well on all of them. I have no doubt he did do well.







I bought a pair of jeans at the thrift store. I am now a size ten trending to a size 8. Jeans don't lie. I need to get a few size ten pants. I was told my 14s look really bad on me and are way too big. Yeah!!! I have to wear my 12s with a belt.







Trevor and I went on the walk and knock before we left for Corvallis. We were looking for canned food for the local food bank. It being Friday morning, most people were not home. The kids made a valiant effort. The end result was maybe 30 cans for our particular group. I took Trevor and another boy to the Safeway. I told them to buy $50 worth of cans. Food they would want to eat also. Trevor shared with me a meeting with an adult who, as a child, had been a recipient of gift baskets of food. She said it was really disappointing to receive powdered milk and other ingredients that they didn't normally eat. Her parents probably appreciated the staples, but not the children. With that in mind I told the boys to get things that make a meal or that they like to eat.







The boys loaded up the cart. They did not stick to any budget at all, just grabbing what they liked. When I met up with them again the cart was full. The cashier rang up the bill, $91. He took pity on me and gave me a $10 off coupon, as it was for a good cause. Those boys did not even bother counting to $50 or fifty cans. Trevor knew I would cover the bill. Well, it was a good cause.


We all had fun. The teacher in charge had donuts waiting for us when we got back with our load.





Trevor and I went home after that to get Riley and hit the road. We had still to pack and head out. The laundry was not ready when we got back. Tom had wanted every piece of Beaver apparel washed and ready for us to wear to the game. He will have to swing by the house after work to pick up what he needs.





I am going to head out with the kids early. We are to swing by my sister in laws and pick up our Christmas cards since we pass her city on our way to Corvallis. She took pictures of us a while ago.





We finally reach Corvallis. We are all hungry. Across from the hotel is an all you can eat buffet Chinese restaurant, a perfect choice for everyone. Tom arrives later and orders pizza to be delivered to our room.





You know the old saying "you get what you pay for". We rent a movie, Secretariat. The film is not in High Definition and it roles with lines throughout the showing. Tom calls to the front desk but they can't fix the problem. In the morning, on Saturday, I am the first one up. I take a shower only to feel the water go from hot to warm. I warn everyone still sleeping that they had better get up and shower as the hotel is running out of hot water. Tom grumbles in bed, saying hotels don't run out of hot water. I tell them that everyone staying here is going to the game and they are all getting up and taking showers. The hotel is full. They are running out of hot water. Riley gets up to take his shower. The water is getting cooler. Trevor is next and its getting worse. By the time Tom tries, its a cold shower. He has waited too long.





I, meanwhile, have gone down to the lobby to enjoy a great breakfast of regular pancakes and eggs, included in our room fee. I had a choice of blueberry or regular or chocolate pancakes.


Riley was thrilled with the chocolate pancakes as was Trevor. Tom just wanted coffee.





We leave for the game. We could have caught a shuttle but Tom said he knew good spots to park. But this was a big game. Parking was already hard to find. We ended up parking 10 blocks from the campus on the north side. The stadium was across the campus. People were coming from all directions. Walking towards the campus, we passed homes with cager parties in full swing at 10:30 in the morning.





We checked out the Alumni center where beer and wine were being served. Tom said the cheer leaders and the band would make an appearance. They did show up just before we were about to give up waiting for them and head to our seats in the stadium. We cheered along with all the other alumni.





Our seats in the stadium were in the top tier in the corner. There are really no bad seats at Reser Stadium. We could see the whole field. There is also a giant TV to watch the game, in the end zone. I like to watch the TV because it follows the ball better than I can.





The fly by of two jets felt like they were barely over our heads. They came in from our side of the stadium, seemingly to just appear out of nowhere. We flinched as they flew by they were so close. It was impressive how low they were.





I liked that the stadium was alcohol and smoke free. The security guard in our area had a work out. He would climb the stairs to the top and watch us all from above, trying to spot alcohol that had been snuck in. If he saw someone drinking a beer, he would climb down the stairs all the way down to get a state trooper then climb up again to identify the culprit and have the person escorted from the stadium. He would then have to climb back up again to his station at the top. His first eviction slid down the stairs, already intoxicated before he had arrived. His neighbors had asked for his ejection. The next two ejections were Duck fans in green garb. The Beaver fans booed them as they left, calling out "good riddance". The next ejection was a Beaver. Everyone was silent with no comments. For each ejection that security guard climbed the stadium stairs three times.





I had brought ear plugs and a head set with me to the game much to Tom's consternation. He said I would look geeky. Head sets are for Nascar, not football. I loved to be able to muffle the yells and noise. I felt I could pretend like I was listening to the radio. There was also a gentleman eating peanuts behind us. He was dropping the shells on the ground and on us. It was not intentional, just one of the experiences of going to a live game. I liked the feeling of insulation that the head set gave me. They also kept my ears warm as the temperature dropped during the game. We started out hot and removed our jackets. As the sun moved across the sky and the shade hit our area, we put our jackets back on.





It was a hard fought game. I think we were happy the Beaver stayed in it as long as they did. They had lost some key players during the season. Vegas had them losing big with the over under at 65 points total. The fans stuck with them until the fourth quarter, then from being down two touchdowns down they went to three. There just wasn't time on the clock for a miracle turn around. Tom suggested we leave before the end. I didn't argue. I was along for the ride.





Many people had the same idea of leaving early. There were a lot of unhappy Beavers cussing and swearing. Tom tells me Eugene is worse, but I wouldn't want to be a visiting fan in either city. We were hungry after the game so we headed to Applebees only to find it closed for repairs. We ended up at Ruby Tuesday. The meal was awful. Mine was cold. The food tasted like microwaved dinners. But we were having fun. Tom had a view of the TV in the bar from his seat. They did serve a good cocktail for me.





After dinner we headed back to the hotel. Trevor and I headed down to the hot tub and pool. The pool was unheated but the hot tub was great. You would get so hot that you would jump in the pool to cool off then quickly climb back into the hot tub.





One of the Beaver players was in the hot tub soaking a sprained ankle with his family. Another guest in the hot tub was a player from a decade ago staying at the hotel with his family. He had two small girls with him. Trevor and I headed up to the room after a while. But Trevor got board watching TV and put his pants on to go work out on the weight equipment in the room next to the pool. He was back shortly to put his swim suit back on. He said there were some really hot girls in the hot tub.





Riley throws on an Hawaiian shirt over his black long johns saying he is going to pretend to work out so he can see the hot girls also. Trevor comes back up to tell us two are Beaver cheer leaders. Tom tells Trevor to invite them up. Trevor laughs and ignores his father. I get the feeling the hot girls in the hot tub are the boys high point of the weekend.

I have to work Sunday so I am up early for breakfast and to hit the road to drive straight to work, leaving Tom and the boys asleep in bed. On the way out of town I spot a car pulled off to the side of the road. Two cute girls are standing by the car, one is slumped over vomiting on the grass verge. It made me laugh and smile, remembering how it once was to party that hard, and glad I don't feel that way now. Been there, done that.

It wasn't my dream anniversary weekend of 17 years of marriage. But there have been a few we have had which we have both forgotten entirely the date and done nothing. This was a fun weekend.

American Cancer Society

Hi All,

I was asked by the American Cancer Society to ask my neighbors for donations. How could I say no given our circumstances. Riley would be dead if this was 10 years ago. His disease may not technically be cancer but he is being treated with a cancer drug.

They gave me a letter to send and the names and addresses of my neighbors. I just finished getting it ready to send. I thought while I was at it that I would let my blog followers know that American Cancer Society was asking for my help.

They are asking for my help when I owe my child's life to their dedication. Great medical improvements have been made in just the last ten years. Riley is able to attend school and get on with his life, indistinguishable from any other high school freshman, other than that mustache he is so proud of.

His camp this summer was sponsored by the American Cancer Society. It allowed him to meet others just like him, facing life threatening illnesses. Doctors and nurses were at the camp to help as needed. Keeping the children healthy and safe so they could have a summer camp experience like any healthy child might have.

These wonderful opportunities cost money from somewhere. Our family will be eternally grateful for the research that has allowed Riley to continue living with Aplastic Anemia, Bone Marrow Failure, with a fairly normal life style. We are grateful for the fun opportunities that put aside the shadow that hangs over our home. There are so many charities that contributed to making this incredible year so... well, incredible.

Doernbecher Children's Hospital diagnosed Riley quickly and got him the treatment he needed to stay alive. They held our hands and supported us through Hell.

American Red Cross provided the red blood and platelets that kept Riley alive. If you have ever given blood, you know the detailed care the staff takes in collecting blood to try to ensure the safe quality of the product. The shelf life is shorter than I ever realized. There is a constant need for fresh donations from good reliable donors. Many people do not qualify as good donors for a variety of reasons; Being in Europe after Chernobyl or the mad cow scare in England, having a tattoo, or any decease or a cold that might compromise a sick patient. A blood drive takes nurses and volunteers. It is time consuming. No wonder that one pint of blood costs $700 with the amount of care taken to collect the blood and care for it and distributing it appropriately. It is a priceless life giving commodity.

Make a Wish sent us to Charlotte North Carolina to meet Dale Earnhart Junior and see our first Nascar race as a family. What an incredible experience that was. Children with life threatening diseases get a wish granted. Some are modest wishes, others are quite grand in scale. It is all about cramming a lifetime into a moment, because that may be all these children have, a moment of time. I don't even want to know how many recipients don't survive to adulthood. I know that on our trip I met three other children. One has already died. His family will remember that people cared and wanted to wish them a wonderful memory. Total strangers opening up their hearts and giving up their privacy for a child's wish. The money for those wishes came from somewhere.

American Cancer Society has their finger in every part of these experiences. Their research gives us hope. Their camps, so children can feel normal, give our children hope and cheer. I know from my experiences this year that these programs work. They are worth every penny. Riley is alive and mentally well balanced. He does not feel sorry for himself or question what might happen in the future. No dwelling, we have been having too much fun to dwell. Who could ask for better blessings than that.

If you are in a giving mood or need that tax write off, I can tell you from personal experience any one of these charities are truly worthy causes. American Cancer Society has asked me to put in a plug for them. Riley would be dead almost a year, if not for their research in medical cures for cancer. That summer camp they sponsored made us realize that life can still be fun. I made a donation in honor of Riley. He will get a card in the mail. I thought it would make a nice Christmas gift for him, the gift of life and happiness.

I wish you all happiness and good health to you and your family.

Lots of Love,

Steph

Boiling frogs

I have been busy with work and kids and life. My house is marginally under control. Last night I attended a meeting for the school superintendent. Three years ago he came on board as the economy began to sink. He had the schools start over and make a 10% cut in every building, rebuilding their schools from the ground up. 60 district employees were laid off. At this new meeting he was warning us that another cut with as much severity was on its way. He described the state of education in America. It was scary.





Where we used to be number one in the world we have fallen to 12th in College graduation for those that start College and finish. He told us that overall in comparing students in America to the rest of the world, we are now closer to 38th in knowledge. Fourth and eighth graders take a test world wide and this is where we line up with the results.





When you pin down Oregon, it gets worse. Most states have a mandated 180 days of school. Oregon does not. Our children go to school each year for 161 to 164 days on average, with more days cut expected. Over the course of kindergarten through high school that totals up to a whole year less of school than the 46 other states. The teachers are still told to teach the curriculum but with less contact with the students. We rank 36 out of 50. Not last, but on the down hill side.





He compared the problem to the frog in hot water. You put a frog in hot water and he realizes its hot and jumps out. If you put the frog in cold water then heat the water slowly to boiling point, the frog does not realize the water is getting too hot and boils to death. The situation is a slow boil and no one is paying attention. Oregon being one of the worst states in America.





Education used to get 44% of the state pie. The pie is shrinking and this year the cut for education is 38% not 44%. That is millions of dollars for our school district vanishing. Thus the reason for the town hall meetings. The superintendent is desperate for ideas and help and to make the public aware of the strained future of our children's education.





It makes me want to put my child in private school. Not that I haven't always wanted to have my children in private school. I have been good at taking advantage to the programs offered by the district. The boys did band along with the rest of the regular curriculum.





What got my attention was talking about preparing our children to compete globally. The problem with that argument is foreign language is not offered until high school and only after freshman year. We are expected to compete globally without learning a language. Studies show the best time to teach children a language is when they are young. They just need one other language then all the others come easily. With this budget crisis I can see this is another area that will be lost. I also see band on the chopping block. Perhaps we can do higher fees for participation. Tom talks about how he had to pay much more for participating in sports than our children do now.





I know we have to keep up with technology, but sometimes I feel we are moving away from the basics to get the technology. Not teaching the roots. Doing math with calculators before learning to add the numbers. They have that much more history to tackle than we had. Writing is on computers, which I love. I wish the teacher had the children e-mail assignments in. My Dad did that for college classes. I have been having Trevor do that for his English class. It guaranteed the assignment was delivered on time. I wish we could do that for math.





The basics are reading writing and arithmetic. That is the core. Add social studies and history and of course science, then the new wellness class. It is a lot to teach and for students to absorb.

They are so much more visual learners now with the advent of TV.



We watch the discovery channel and cant catch enough of it all. Tom with his engineering background will put holes in the theory on a program to show the boys not to take everything at face value. Theory is not fact.



I battle the violent games of Halo. The boys should be doing their homework, not sitting playing video games. Those poor teachers are trying to educate students in worse households than ours. We are supposed to be the middle class and I can't even get my children motivated when I care. What about those families that don't care and are still sending their children to school. No wonder teachers are burned out and frusterated. We are demanding the world and offering nothing to assist in how to achieve it.



No wonder the superintendant is begging for help and inovative ideas. He is being sucked dry and tossed about like a crumpled note. I don't have the answers. I am just glad that I don't have to teach my children. I will try to do as much to help and encourage the teachers as possible, and thank goodness it is not me in the classroom.

Cold weather

The cold weather has arrived early this year. It reminds me of the stories my dad would tell of Mount hood getting so much snow on the magic mile that they had to plow an opening for the lifts to go up the hill. The season started before Halloween. Two feet at Ski Bowl before Thanksgiving. If only we could ski.

I honestly doubt Riley will ever ski again. We are passed that window of time where you can introduce a sport to your children and have them fall in love with it. What they will remember are those early morning hours. Having to get up at five AM to leave the house just after six to make it to the mountain for the first run before anyone else gets there. No lines, but for the boys, they did not like those early hours.

Trevor may take it up again. He has just gotten so big that I worry if he falls he may really do himself some damage. The bigger they are the harder they fall. Its one reason you need to start early learning to ski. Toddlers only fall two feet when they topple over. Trevor would make a good snow boarder perhaps. Perish the thought.

Today Trevor is out practicing for the Macy's Parade on Friday. Its 23 degrees outside. I stopped by Wilco and bought him the required sweatshirt all in black. I also got him some heavy duty long johns, both top and bottom. I found a knit skull cap and removed the logo so he could wear it under the Santa hat. I tried to find gloves that would not interfere with the musical instruments. I am not sure they will work, but we'll see. Trevor is carrying the crash symbols for percussion. He only hits them rarely.

He is to be at the school at 5:30 am to catch the bus. Tom will drop Trevor on his way to work. I have to work myself. I know one of the other moms who is going. She will take lots of pictures.

Riley is now old enough to get his permit, but he is beginning to shy away from the idea. The weather is a big turn off with the cold and ice. He could be one of the first in his class to get his license. We even have a spare car. Tom says he wants to take Riley out first. Fine with me. but I think it would be better if I took him to a parking lot at one of the schools over this break and had him practice in preparation of his father. He has driven a golf cart and bumper cars. Riley thinks driving the Cadillac will be fun. Tom doesn't drive the Caddy in this weather, so that will have to wait. The Caddy has rear wheel drive.

Tom was excited to get the Christmas tree. the store next door from my work just got their delivery. I texted Tom and told him to get the $30 tree. He has the jeep, which can hold the tree. He comes home Tuesday with the tree.

I am laughing. The boys say "What tree?" . The tree is a table top size. It is maybe three feet. I say its an adorable Charlie Brown tree, but it is nicer than that. Its a Noble but it is so small it looks like just the top of a tree. Tom looks sheepish. He said he couldn't fit any of the bigger ones into the car. I don't know about that. I have been bringing trees home for years, jambed in to the back.

This one even has a nailed on stand. We may have to replace it by Christmas it will be so dried out. Tom loves the convenience of the stand and how quickly it is decorated. I don't have to use half of our decorations as the tree is pint size.

It is somewhat my fault. I have been getting the five to seven foot trees and then setting them up on a coffee table for the illusion of a bigger tree and having lots of room below for presents. Tom's tree fits on a side table. I don't even have to put the table in storage as I need it to put the tree on it for height.

It all looks lovely in the end and it was so easy. The mantle is decorated with artificial garlands and our toy soldiers. The stockings are hung. We haven't even reached Thanksgiving.

The symphony

List and Mauler. It was good but not my favorite pieces. Mauler's concert is thought to be unfinished. It has parts disturbing with gaps in the music, where it seems as if instruments are missing. He wrote it after he found his wife was having an affair, so the music itself is disturbing. List was a piano concerto. Lovely and lyrical with lots of running scales. It evokes tears and smiles with the playing.

Trevor sits sternly, concentrating on the music. Riley is board. He tries to sit still, but with difficulty. Luckily List is a short piece intermission comes quickly. This is because Mauler is 72 minutes long for the second half. Riley puts his head on my shoulder and shuts his eyes. Occasionally lifting his head when the music gets louder or disruptive.

The seat started out behind Margaret. Students are still only $10 at the door. I ask for seats close to Margaret's, not realizing Margaret's seats are down in a corner. At intermission we all move to the middle having scoped out vacant seat more centrally located. Margaret and her group move with us.

We are near the front so we can see the expressions on the musician's faces and follow closely the conductor's baton. The conductor has big hair that flies around as he leaps and gestures. He is entertaining to watch. Mauler is a challenging piece. It hasn't been performed in 20 years by the orchestra in Portland. It is not as popular as other composers. I can understand why having heard it now.

The day began with my warning the boys we would leave at 4:00 to go to dinner with Margaret. She calls to warn us the weather may be turning nasty. Tom tells me to take the jeep. I had planned on it anyway as it has seat warmers for this cold weather. The boys whine about dressing up. I tell them ties and button down shirts. They don't have to wear suit jackets. More whining occurs. I finally settle for just having nice clothes. I had told Trevor dark pants, to which he agreed. He put on a black shirt to go with it. He thought it was kind of goth to be all in black, but he looked pretty handsome. He compared the look with Spider man Three when Spidy turns evil for a while. But he felt comfortable with his clothes and that was what counts.

Riley kept to his Hawaiian shirts. He wore one of the new silk ones I gave him for his birthday. He buttoned it all the way us to look more formal. It made me smile when I noticed. Well, they looked clean and presentable, and definitely, they have their own style.

I make them spend a half hour looking for their wallets for ID so we can get the student discounts. Good thing we started early with the search as it takes the full amount of time. Both boys have no idea where their wallets are. Trevor ends up with his Malibu raceway ID. Riley finally finds his wallet in a kitchen drawer.

We are off. The rain is coming down and my sky light leaks water into the walls of the car. When we bought the car, it had a totalled title for water damage. I am thinking it wasn't immersed at all. I think the car leaks in the rain. It drives, which is all I care about. I have towels to mop up the moisture. The rain doesn't hit us. It slides down the inside of the walls and comes out on the floor in the back seat, or through the central light in the middle of the front area, missing all the passengers.

My old Saturn used to leak through the sky light. It would dump a pool of water right on Tom first thing in the morning when he started the car to back down our driveway. Riley says lets not get a car with a sky light again, they tend to leak.

We arrive early at the restaurant. I take the opportunity to call my sister in New York and say "Hi" to my 3 year old nephew and his brother. We put them on speaker so the boys can talk also. That kills the time quickly.

In the restaurant, Margaret is already waiting with her friends. She has a regular group that attends the symphony with her. Her old friend Martha, My Dad used to work with her husband Bob. Martha and Margaret had their children close together. Jen is good friends with Kim, Martha's daughter. It is a two generational friendship that binds them even closer. Hugh is also there, with his pad of paper to play hang man with the boys.

It has become our game to play hangman while out to dinner. It is great entertainment and keeps the boys occupied until the food arrives. Trevor orders a five meat pizza all for himself and proceeds to eat the whole thing, all by himself. Riley orders a turkey dip, which is something like the roast beef dip au jous, but with turkey. He eats all of his sandwich also. I order a southwest salad, but forget to have them leave off the olives. It is still good, but I prefer no olives. Hugh orders the spinach ravioli which looks delightful. Martha orders the same. Margaret gets a salad with the dressing on the side. A delicious foccacia bread is served soft and hot. The boys wolf it down. Bread is a big part of our diet.

The boys also order Italian sodas. Strawberry vanilla for Trevor and Blackberry Vanilla for Riley. The waitress says she had never thought of combining flavors. Trevor says when you do it at a soda fountain and get all the flavors it's called a "Graveyard". I don't like "Graveyards" but Trevor does make them often when we do fast food.

The time comes for us all to pay our bills and get to the symphony. I need a little more time as I am buying our tickets at the door and need to stand in line. I am not worried as the symphony always has seats available. I just wish I had known exactly where Margaret's seats were. We would have chosen seats to her left instead of behind.

Trevor wants to do the balcony next time. I am glad he wants a next time. January is the next time Margaret is going. I will have to see if Riley wants to go again. Perhaps pick a more popular composer. But over all we all had fun and enjoyed the night. Tom is in bed half asleep watching the news when we get home. The news men are predicting snow at high elevations and slick roads tomorrow. I will drive carefully to work.

Sunday Morning

I get my money back. Trevor did not do chores. He came home with a friend from band practice and played all day. The young man was picked up only moments before I arrived home. I am glad they had fun, but today we will try and tackle the mess together. That will not be fun.



My niece has introduced the boys to Saturday Night Live. I went to bed, kicking the dog and the cats out of my room. I slept soundly, only occasionally disturbed by the laughter from downstairs. They could have stayed up all night for all I knew in the end. I loved the sound sleep for once.

The scratching at the door I at first ignored, then yell "No". An hour later the scratching was back. Light shined through the windows, I knew it was morning. The clock said 7:30am which means it was only 6:50 am. Tom keeps the bed room clock at least a half hour fast for psychological reasons. We are rarely late for work, if when looking at the clock first thing in the morning we already think we are running late.

The cats are lined up at the door with the dog standing behind them waiting his turn in last place. There does seem to be something wrong with that order. In our house the cats rule over the dog. They are please that the door is opening, but everyone waits for my invitation to enter before crossing the threshold, cats first.

I crawl back in bed with a cat meowing on my pillow, letting me know he did not appreciate being shut out of my room all night. The dog leaps up on the bed and waits for his invitation to crawl under the covers and curl up next to my belly before he will settle down. The other cat lay on the floor, content just to be back in the Queen's royal room.

We all fall back to sleep for another hour, but the light coming in prevents me from finding the deep oblivion again for long. I get up and check on the boys. They are sound asleep. I wake Trevor and ask how late they stayed up. It takes a few minutes to wake him, he is so deeply asleep. He mumbles and moans in complaint, finally he says they only stayed up until the show ended. It seemed a lot later to me last night. I couldn't see the clock without making an effort so I didn't look last night when I heard the laughter. Besides they were having fun and it's vacation. Riley is good about putting himself to bed when he is tired. Trevor wouldn't have stayed up downstairs without company. So they probably did go to bed after the show was over.

I will let them sleep in a little, but Riley needs to take his pills fairly close to on schedule. We let it go an hour or two, but try to be consistent. Mornings are good. He takes them right before catching the bus, 7:55 am. That gives him most of the evening to choose when to take them at night.

I was so please with his numbers, 123,000 platelets. That was a great leap. It was like the leap from 64, 000 to 95,000 he had before. With any luck perhaps he will have another great leap, defy the odds. There is a small group,(very small), 10% that do recover and do not relapse using this treatment. Tom is not placing any bets, but I am keeping my hopes up. The doctor was able to put Tom off with the numbers improving again. He also extended our time on the drugs. Nine months is now a year on the cyclosporine.

Cyclosporine is an immune suppressant. It is hard on the kidneys and liver. He will be weaned off slowly when it it happens. The blood levels will be watched closely again. He must remember to drink lots of fluids while taking the drugs to prevent damage to his organs. He is a teenager, not always the most reliable. He has been a real trooper through all of this, but then he hasn't had much choice.

So the boys sleep on this wet and damp morning, enjoying the opportunity to sleep in. I wont spoil it, but at some point I will get them up. They can't sleep all day. Tonight I am taking them to dinner and the symphony with Margaret and Hugh. They will dress up.

It is amazing what clothes do to their personalities. When they dress up they seem to realize that more is expected of their behavior. I feel like I have real pending adult children for once. Perhaps its because we are doing an activity. But Trevor definitely doesn't behave this nice respectful way as well when we go to Bullwinkels for the end of season parties. There he ditches me for the games and disappears. He sits with his friends and leaves me to fend for myself. When we do the symphony, the boys stay close. They carry on conversations. They love to stand in line and order drinks and desserts from the counter before the performance and at the intermission. I get comments from total strangers about how pleased they are to see young people attending the concerts and how well my boys behave.

The symphony only costs $10 for students. The concerts are never sold out. They want to encourage young musicians and future patrons, give them the opportunity to hear the concerts. My seat on the other hand runs about $75. You get a big break for season tickets or senior citizen tickets.

I just can't pull it off that often. Late nights and the long drive home discourage me from going very often. Margaret lives close into town. It is easier for her less than ten minutes from downtown. She does motivate me to come out on occasion, such as we are doing tonight. It will be fun and special and the boys will love it.

Last time we went to the symphony, Trevor had a smile ear to ear stuck on his face as he absorbed the sounds. It looked like the music plucked his soul. Riley looked at it more like his father the engineer. The impressive timing of getting 30 to 50 people all playing different instruments in time with each other, like cogs in a giant well oiled machine. Each piece doing its part to perfection.

Now I just have to choose one of my party dresses to wear. I bought a great Ann Taylor skirt at the thrift store for $5. It is an incandescent blue and brown tones. I am going to have trouble finding a top to coordinate with it. But it was such a lovely skirt I couldn't leave it. Almost time to wake the boys. I was enjoying the quiet.

Saturday Morning

Thank goodness for work on Saturdays. I woke up this morning to tom getting ready for a weekend in Corvallis. He is golfing with friends then off to the late game. He will spend the night and probably golf again before coming home. It is raining, but that wont slow true golfers of the Northwest down. They would rarely get out if they waited for the weather to be nice.

Meanwhile my boys wake up and start the TV. I ask for them to wait until I leave the house. There is plenty to be done around the house. Riley's birthday presents are still piled on the dining room table. Riley hides under the covers in my bed, pretending to be asleep while I list off all the chores; from putting his new pants and shirts away, to unloading the dishes from the dishwasher, to getting out of my bed so I can make it before I leave.

Tom's friends come into the chaose. I tell them I needed just one hour of no TV then I am off to work and the boys will do what ever they want. Tom just rolls his eyes. He does tell the boys to do what I ask before he heads out the door. Riley is still hiding under the covers in my bed. He had snuck in there to play the x box. He was disappointed that I made him turn it off. Now he is going to hide until I leave and then turn it back on.

Nothing will get done. I will come home to the dishes still needing to be unloaded and the pile of presents still on the dining room table. The carpet needs to be vaccumed and the lawn needs to be mowed.

AAh, I have hope. I offer Trevor money for today,$20 to do chores. He agrees. I make a list; dishes laundry vaccuming, putting away new cloths, cleaning clothes off his floor. I have hope now that the disaster areas might be brought down to a dull roar before I get home.

Riley still hides from me. Waiting until I leave so he can turn on the TV again. I may have to steal the cords off his games, if things get really bad this week. He did like his presents yesterday though. Spoiled child. I love my boys, but they are so much more work these days. Their messes are bigger also.




Trevor has marching band practice. I will drop him on my way to work. I know nothing around the house will get done in my absense. At least Trevor has something constructive to do. I love escaping the teenagers for work. Dealing with adults who know their jobs and follow the rules of civility.

Impatience

After our ER scare on the tenth, Tom asked me to make an appointment to see the Doctor. He didn't want to wait until the end of December to talk options and see numbers. The doctor is only available on Thursdays. I don't want Riley to miss school. I get lucky the doctor has an available time slot at 4:30 pm the next Thursday. The day before Riley's 15th birthday. Tom will meet us there. I will pick Riley up from school. There should be just enough time to get the dornbeckers for blood draw and labs, before we meet with the Doctor. They like to do the blood draw about a half hour in advance. One hour is even better. The next week is Thanksgiving so we would have to put it off even further if we don't go this week.



I figure by picking Riley up directly from school I can buy some extra time and not worry about the commute. I even anticipate Tom calling and requesting I bring his computer and grab it before I leave the house. It is my day off so I run lots of errands in the morning. I get a spiral ham which Riley wants for his birthday. He also said and wrote on his birthday list that he needed pants. I swing by the thrift store first to find the deals. They are having a half off books sale. The books are already under two dollars. I find a whole lot of classics like Animal Farm by George Orwell and Centennial by James Mitchener, Call of the Wild by Jack London (we already have a copy, but it is a great book), The Jungle book by Rudyard Kipling, Charles Dickens' Oliver Twist. I buy about 15 books, each one is less than a dollar . All are great reads, books I liked or always intended to read myself. I find a couple silk Hawaiian shirts for $4 each.



After that haul, I feel I can fill in with the more expensive gifts without breaking the bank. I head to Fred Meyer to buy food and more pants with real tags on them. I get home in time to unload the car and put everything away, then head to the high school where I wait for the bell to release the students.



A police car passes me twice, checking to see if I am safe to be parked out front of the school. It makes me feel good about the safety of the school. I wonder if he ran my plates. I wait. The buses come and load up. They leave. I begin to wonder if Riley forgot and got on the bus. I start to pull out after circling the parking lot once to make sure I didn't miss him. I spot him right before I am to turn onto the road and follow the buses home.



He had forgotten and got on the bus, but remembered before the buses took off. What it did do was eat up some of my spare time. He then asks if we can swing by the house for his computer. He has an assignment due he wants to work on. Not knowing quite what to expect at the appointment I agree to swing back by the house. Eating up more of my spare time.



I have not had a late appointment before with the doctor. I don't know if he will be on time or have an emergency that might delay him. Having the computer will be a good idea all around. When we get to the house Riley wants to use the bathroom, a little more delay. The drive takes a good 25 minutes at least. Riley doesn't like using the bathrooms at school, so I know he really needs to now. Its a good thing I planned that extra half hour into our commute.

By the time Riley gets back in the car, Trevor is coming up the driveway from the bus stop. The boys normally ride the same bus. He sees us and smiles, laughing that he beat us home before we even left for the hospital.

Now there can be no delays. Traffic is good on the freeway and we arrive at the hospital at 3:45. Time enough to make our 4:00pm blood draw, but not early as I had hoped. Tom texts us. He is also at the hospital. He meets us at the lab. Riley goes in to the lab and comes out quickly. The nurses are good and efficient in the lab.

There had been a line at Starbucks in the lobby when we arrived. I told Riley we could get something after the blood draw. I wanted to make sure we had time before waiting in line. Tom heads upstairs to check in with the clinic. Riley and I head down to the lobby for our treat. The line is short. Only two people in front of us. It still takes 10 minutes though. Starbucks is an experience place. I explain to Riley it is a little like going to the symphony. You can't speed up the process, that would take away from the whole experience. It is a leisurely treat. He makes the comment that it shouldn't be leisurely if you are after caffeine.

He orders a vanilla mocha decaf. I order a vanilla streamer. We take our drinks upstairs where Tom is waiting. The TV is off in the waiting room. Tom comments on the fact. I point out that at this time of day they probably don't want you lingering watching a movie to the end. They want you to head home.

Riley's name is called and we go through the security doors to the check in room where he is weighed, 125 pounds still. His height is measured, five feet eight inches. He is officially barely taller than me. Blood pressure is good. We toss our cups in the garbage and head to the room where the doctor will examine Riley. He comes in shortly with a new doctor.

He asks if we will tell our story to this new doctor as he will be following our case for a while. I ask if this new doctor is going to specialize in this area. He says he is considering it. We give a synopsis of the last year, how Riley spotted the rash on his legs, then the bruise on his hip that he couldn't tell where it came from, and the sore in Riley's mouth. How we took him to the clinic at home and the doctor at the clinic recognized the symptoms of bone marrow failure almost immediately from the peticia. How we were told to go to Dornbechers the next day. More blood draws and the aspiration of bone marrow confirming diagnosis. How Trevor was not a match. Riley started receiving platelet transfusions. How Riley got sick the next week with a fever which landed us back in the ER and the opportunity to begin treatment immediately. Once treatment started there was no going back even though just a few days into treatment multiple donor matches were found. Now here we are almost nine months later, still in a wait and see mode.

Tom wants to start weaning Riley off the meds. He just wants to get Riley well. The doctor says not yet. Studies show too soon and the chances of relapse are higher. He wants Riley to go a year on the immune suppressants. He says February 17, the exact anniversary date of the beginning of Riley's treatment. The day just happens to be a Thursday this year.

Finally the labs come back. Platelets are 123,000. The doctor thinks it is in response to Riley's virus last week. The body responded appropriately. I am gleeful. Tom has to swallow his words again. The numbers are good enough to put his argument off again and continue with the current treatment.

Hemoglobin is 10.6. Everything is higher than before he got sick. whites have come down from 5.9, but that number indicated that they were fighting some infection that has now passed. They did what they should be doing. It is still improved at 3.9. The numbers still aren't great. My hemoglobin was 13.4 when I gave blood. My platelets were 450,000. When I get sick my white cells go past 10. But we are crawling out of the gutter.

They cancel our December appointment and tell us February 17 will be our next visit unless we absolutely cannot wait again, or something comes up. I ask since Riley is turning 15 if he can get his permit and practice driving. The doctor says Riley has a few platelets to spare, but asks if our car has airbags. Yes, all our cars have airbags. He also asks if Riley has had his flu shot. I was going to ask about that. I didn't know with the immune suppressants if he should have the shot. Yes, we will do that while we are there.

The doctor does his regular exam. Both doctors listen to Riley's heart. They check his liver by pressing on his abdomen, causing Riley to giggle uncontrollably. Riley is terribly ticklish when it comes to the abdomen and liver areas.

The doctors leave and the nurse arrives with the flu shot. the needle is about an inch long and has to be administered into a muscle. Riley chooses his left arm as the nurse says he will be sore afterwards in the area where she gives the shot. What a change a year has wrought. Riley doesn't even flinch. he even jokes about the shot and how he ought to administer one to his parents. I have yet to get my flu shot. The year I got a flu shot I came down with a horrible case of the flu. I figure it must not have matched that strain. I haven't had a flu shot since before the boys were born. I guess I should probably get one this year. I wouldn't want to bring anything serious into the house. Riley is still compromised or we wouldn't have had to go to the ER last week, as a precaution.

I ask Tom if he wants to have Riley ride home with him, but he says he wants to smoke. Riley and I both complain that the cars all smell of smoke. He needs to stop smoking in the other cars, he is making them all stink. Riley and I head out. I have to back the car out of our parking spot so Riley can get in, as the car next to us is so close Riley can't get in on his side. The rain is coming down and it is dark. It feels late but it is only just after 5:00 pm, peak rush hour traffic. I like the freeway because it is well lit. The cross town roads don't have a lot of street lights. I am always afraid I will not see someone in the dark, bikers or walkers.

The traffic on the freeway is heavy. We finally make it home. As I tell my boys, we are moving faster than the pioneers on the Oregon Trail if the traffic is moving above 13 miles an hour. We were going 25 or 30 at some points, but it was all forward progression. With the rain coming down and the dark night, I don't mind the slow traffic. I always like to drive a little more cautiously when Riley is with me. We are in the middle lane. We pass Tom's car several times on the freeway. He was in the supposedly fast lane then moved over to the slow lane. Riley calls him on his cell to let him know we see him. He picks up but then says he can't talk as he is driving, good man. Me, I just sit in my lane moving forward.

Once home though, I have to fix everyone dinner, then I throw on my pajamas and climb into bed. Visiting the doctor is always stressful and exhausting just keeping up appearances. Tom can sit there and dwell and mope and want all this to be done. But as long as there is progress and forward progression I want to stay the course. Riley does not want to do BMT. He has seen and heard enough to know the discomforts. Tom is not going to be able to get him to do the BMT unless he can come up with some good arguments. I am thrilled with the new numbers. If we reach 150,000 platelets, I will be ecstatic. The next phase will be weaning off the drugs. Not relying on the immune suppressants. We need to know Riley's marrow can sustain itself without assistance.

February 17, 2011 will be our next bench mark. Patience and good humor will be our mantra. I gave Trevor's teachers cards with gifts in them for the Thanksgiving break. I think it helps to keep a positive outlook. I like to assist those poor teachers when ever I can. Trevor is giving us all his own challenges in a different way. I think everyone is looking forward to this long break.

Trevor even had one teacher write me a note saying he had no homework over the break. He knew I would put him to work without it. I thought that was very pro active. We are still working on improving his grades. I am so tempted to keep him in middle school one more year. High school will be a disaster.

Meanwhile Riley is flourishing in his classes. I want to send him to private college, some place warm and nurturing like my own Whitman in Walla Walla. Trevor wants to play football so Whitman wont work. Whitman doesn't have a football team.

Trevor's coach said when he is out on the field the opponents double team him. I could tell. Every year he gets better and better. If only that dedication would spill over into his academics.

The Vet

We were late getting Peach to the Vet. I asked if Peach might try just an antibiotic treatment rather than surgery. The admissions nurse said she would check with the Vet. I also told them no unnecessary treatments. We will not be doing the teeth cleaning or the pre workup on the blood, just the draining of the leg, that is all. The cat either survives the surgery or he doesn't. Running a bunch of unnecessary tests wont change the outcome.



We are told to call at noon. Trevor calls, the vet is delayed, no surgery yet. They call back. The cat has been looked at again. They have opted for just an antibiotic treatment, no surgery.



I can't help being a little cynical. I do like this clinic. But sometimes I think that they really do go overboard. Tom compares them to dentists. Dentists want the teeth cleaning straightening and whitening even though the straightening and whitening it isn't necessary. The vet wanted to do the same thing to a cat.



Peach is nine years old. He is getting up there in cat years. His teeth weren't bothering him. I bought a cat food that is supposed to help with the cleaning. It didn't cost me an extra$200 as the cleaning under anesthesia would have. The potential extractions were going to cost anywhere from $25 to $125 per tooth and they wouldn't know until they got into Peach's mouth how many or how much. It sounded like a money pit to me.







Peach seems to be responding to the antibiotics. The vet did not charge us for the day stay. He also wasn't happy to hear we were buying our flea meds from Wilco Farm and Feed store. It is more convenient than driving out to the vet clinic. I also don't feel the need to make the required physical inspection of our pets every two years just to receive the flea meds.



Yes, our pets are family members, but I am not going to break the bank over unnecessary annual physicals. I will take them when they are sick, not before. It is a delicate balance where to draw the line.



We had a dog, Bubu. He was a Rottweiler, well loved and respected. We bought a king size bed, because our old double bed was too small with the dog sleeping with us in the middle. I would have to shove to keep my space in the bed.



Bubu blew out his ACL, one of his knees just gave while he was running in the yard. The Vet wanted to ship him to the veterinary college in Pullman Washington for a mere $25,000 for a complete knee rebuild. I asked if we could just chop the leg off. He compromised and charged us $2500 for a local repair. Two years later, Bubu grew a tumor in another leg. It metastasized quickly. He spent three months on pain killers and treatments before we said goodbye to him. He was our most expensive pet medically and he still died.



I am willing to spend the money, but I have learned to be reasonable. Vets are like any other business. They want you to spend as much as you are willing with them. Give them your limits. Don't let emotion rule and overtake your pocket book. I just saved my cat and $500 at least.

How much do you spend on a cat

House pets are special. They share your home and in our case the master bed. They are abused and adored by the children. They tolerate much. They bring me gifts of dead and living animals seasonally as available to show their love and devotion.

I feed them and pet them to show my own appreciation. I take them to the vets when they are sick. Most of the vet visits run around $200, the visit plus what ever medicines we are sent home to administer. I prefer liquid syringes as getting a pill down a cat is not easy. They fight and claw.

This last visit to the vet was due to Peach having an injured paw. It wasn't broken, but he wouldn't put any weight on it. He was without energy and lethargic. He nibbled his food. I gave him a treat of canned food to stimulate his appetite. He ate a little but not much. Normally he would have consumed half the can.

Trevor helped me capture the cat and carry the case to the vet. Not that the cat put up much resistance, he was waiting for us at the door next to his carrier. The cat's temperature was 104 degrees. The vet said that was high. I don't know what is normal for a cat, but that seems high to me. Peach was not dehydrated, but there was something definitely wrong with the leg. The vet thinks an abscess caused by another cat biting him in a fight.

The neighborhood is in a territory battle right now. There must be eight or ten cats trying to establish their boundaries. Every home has a cat. The occasional cat fight can be heard out the window at night. It isn't so bad with the rainy weather. I used to watch a couple of cats that liked to walk the top of our fence. Peach would walk the top of our fence. It was definitely a strained relationship around the cat neighborhood.

It seems that Peach did not come out of one of his altercations unscathed. The vet says he needs surgery to drain the abscess in his leg. She tosses in a teeth cleaning and extractions as needed. The estimate is for $576.00.

The day Tom noticed the limp and said "take the cat in to the vet", I had warned him it would cost us. I said "Any visit will be at least $120". It is even worse than that. With Trevor with me trying to choke back tears over the sick cat, I agree to the surgery. I tell the vet I have a ceiling of $1000. I will not pay more than that regardless of what they find wrong. It still seems extreme for a cat. But he is a member of the family. He is a great mouser and has often defended his home from infiltrators and unwanted guests.

This is also his first trip to the vet since infancy. He has been extremely healthy up until now.
Tom looks at the estimate when he gets home. He says no teeth cleanings or extractions. Do just the minimum. He makes the comment that he could accidentally lose the cat on the way to surgery, or there is that "other option", Peach is a family member. Trevor would be devastated if we didn't at least do the minimum effort.

So Peach is going to get his chance. He will be using up one of his proverbial nine lives. The doctor is going to open up his leg and drain what ever puss or infection is bothering the cat. It will be an out patient experience. We are to drop him off at 8:30 am and pick him up at 5:30 pm. Then we will probably have to administer syringes of antibiotics over the next week and keep him from being over active while he recovers. Cats and dogs though are pretty good at knowing their limitations as long as they are not encouraged to go play. Peach is 9 years old. He is a smart cat. He didn't run off and hide. He wants us to make him better.

Pets can be so expensive at times. We picked him out at PAWS, which is like the humane society. He was a kitten we brought home to entertain the kitten, Tiger, we had brought home a few days earlier. Tiger wanted to play all night and wouldn't let anyone sleep. We hoped that by bringing home a playmate the first cat would not wake us up all night. They fought. I was afraid one would kill the other, but in the morning of the first night we found that they had become the best of friends.

Peach turned into our adventurous hunter and Tiger was our timid afraid to go outside cat. Tiger had flea allergies. Forget to give him his flea meds and he gets huge scabs all over his body. He has had several vet visits for his rashes. He pulls his hair out to get to the fleas.

Peach could care less about fleas. The vet found several fleas on Peach. We gave him an updated dose of flea meds when we got home. Now we are about to gather him up again and deliver him to his surgery. We use an old decrepit green carrier with bent clasps. It has held many of our cats over the years. I think it is original to my first cat Rascal.

Rascal only loved me. She knocked my sister's hamster cage to the floor killing her pet. She was half Siamese with a voice you could hear for miles. Peach really never howls. Tiger wakes the dead. I think that is why I love my cats, they have personalities. They are devoted to their good owners. It is something of a test. A cat will abandon a bad family. He will go off and find a new home if you make him mad enough. They have an independent streak.

Peach came to me with his limping paw. How could I let him down, especially with Trevor there to judge me. A pet is a member of the family. Pets are the ones that teach our children their first experiences about life and death and kindness. So I am off to the vet again and a really expensive vet bill.

An evening at the ER

Riley has been fighting a bug. Yesterday he had stuffy ears and a slight soar throat. He spiked a fever in the evening of 99.1. Tom gave me a look and told me to call the on call number and find out how to treat the fever. We are not supposed to mask fevers with ibuprofen in case it masks a more serious problem. With a compromised immune system a minor illness can escalate to something serious quickly.

The nurse said to only give ibuprofen judiciously. Once a day. Benodril is what I like for ear aches and stuffy noses as I feel it keeps those sinuses open and draining. Benodril is a good choice according to the doctor as it doesn't mask the fever. It will also help Riley sleep.

He awakes with no fever. I encourage him to attend school despite the stuffy ears. He has missed enough school and who knows how much he will miss in the future. He begrudgingly agrees to go after I point out that he is up against a four day weekend. He can relax the rest of the week.

I go off to visit a friend and on the way back home later in the day, stop in at work for a couple of hours. The new employee has not worked out so we are back to our old schedules, but trying to accommodate already made plans, when we thought we had the time off.

Once home I check on Riley. He says his throat is still mildly soar and his ears are still plugged. During the coarse of the evening his temperature rises. Tom make us take it regularly. It reaches 100.4. In the old days back in the spring that was a trigger point for a visit to the ER. Riley is not as compromised now, but it warrants another call to the on call Doctor to find out what we are supposed to do.

Do we treat the fever or what? Now the trigger for the drive to the ER is 101. We hit that mark while talking on the phone to the Doctor. Better to error on the side of caution. It has been over a month since our last blood tests. Who knows where Riley's numbers are. With the drugs he takes his immune system is compromised. We are told to go ahead and bring him into the ER. They will be expecting him.

Riley and I get our stuff together. I grab a blanket for him for the car ride. We both grab books to read. Tom gets a packet of sample meds together for the visit. We are supposed to bring his meds just in case whenever we go visiting the hospital. It helps keep everyone on the same page so to speak. I send Tom back into the house for a yogurt. I will bring yogurt just in case this turns into an all nighter. Riley wont have a problem taking his pills in the morning if we have the yogurt. He had to take his pills with apple sauce before, when they didn't have yogurt in the ER.

I did forget the computer, but I had a good book. Riley and I chat as we drive. He really doesn't act sick. I can tell he isn't feeling that horrible. We just can't take the chance, not without knowing his numbers. The ANC below 500 will mean he will stay in the hospital. An ANC at where it was in September means he gets to come home and we can treat the illness with ibuprofen. That is what the doctor told me on the phone.

The fog is thick. I have to use the white line on the side of the road to guide my car to the freeway. It is only eight at night so traffic is still fairly heavy leaving town. Going into town isn't bad though. We know the route well and make good time.

I skip valet and just park nearby. Riley and I head into the ER and check in. The clerk tells us to take a seat. I mention Riley is immune compromised and usually we go to the children's room. There is a TV and games in the children's waiting room. A nurse comes out and hands Riley a mask and uses her card to open the security door to the playroom. Riley says he could have sat out in the lobby, but I point out the TV. It is the Disney channel showing one of those obnoxious shows the boys like and I can't stand. Riley sits without anymore complaint, his eyes on the TV screen.

Time passes and they call his name. He gets a room and they check his vitals. He is running a temperature of 99. They give him the topical lydicane to kill the pain for the needle injections. The nurse says she will do the shot in his arm. Riley is happy not to have them do it in his hand. He had been stressing that it would be another painful experience. This time it all goes smoothly. We just have to wait now for our results to get back.

We can hear an infant screaming in another room. I turn on the TV to drown out the sound. Indian Jones is on, a good distraction for Riley. A volunteer stops by to say hello and see if we need anything. I ask if she has games or chess. She says she is on her way out but another volunteer will be stopping by, she will send him in our direction with a chess board.

He arrives a short while later. I ask Riley if he wants me to turn off the movie. Yes, Riley would rather play chess with this young man. Riley proceeds to beat him several times in short games. Quite pleased with the experience. Our results come back. Riley's numbers are good enough to go home. They are better than a month ago for red and white. Platelets are pretty much the same, not much improvement, which is disappointing, but not unexpected. We know the odds. We get to treat the fever with ibuprofen and get to sleep in our own beds tonight.

Riley falls asleep in the seat beside me on the drive home. The fog is still thick. Car lights float in a thick white halo. I drive cautiously. We are home just before midnight. Everyone is already asleep having heard that there was nothing to worry about this particular evening. Riley has all weekend, four days, to rest up and be ready for school. Get over this hump in the road to recovery. We got a peak at the numbers which pleased Tom. He was having a hard time not knowing for so long. Now I am winding down and going to bed myself.

laundry- updates

Wednesday, today is the day Sears makes their visit. I am guessing the day may be a thousand dollar day. I am having the gas stove looked at as two of the burners wont start on their own. The oven light is out also. the Laundry machine is also getting an overhaul.

I thought since I was having the laundry looked at that I could also have the stove at the same time, but they are two different technicians with two different bills. The stove guy comes first. He doesn't have the parts. They will be sent and he will return, but I wont have to pay for the return call.

While he is here he asks if there is anything else he can fix for me. He mentions the filter on the refrigerator. "Yes", that definitely needs replacing. We have lived here since December 2006 without replacing the filter. It is time. I know you are supposed to change it out every year. Its a little past time. The door shelves are broken on the fridge also. I ask for new ones. By the end of the kitchen visit the bill is a little over $400. I would rather fix these things given the opportunity. They would need to be fixed if we ever moved anyway. At least now I can enjoy the use. There is a discount for a second appliance health check. Everything will be sent to me and the repair man will come back in two weeks free of charge to install the new light on the oven, the switch on the stove, the filter and drawers on the refrigerator, worth every penny.


The Laundry repair man comes a little while after the kitchen repairman leaves. The pump is blown. Unusual for the age of the washer, little does he realize the use that washer receives. It is kind of like the time I bought the planer for Tom and he proceeded to cut down the woods around our house and plane nearly 2000 board feet of maple. Sears was out several times repairing that planer. It just wasn't up to that kind of volume of use. It was meant for the hobby use. We had insurance on that planer, worth every penny. We were lucky with the washer, there was a pump in the repair truck.

Tom mentioned last night it might be time for one of his exceptions to the no insurance rule. He always said if you bought insurance for every item, the cost of all that insurance alone would cover replacement of one item every year if it broke. You could just buy a new one. So he didn't advocate insurance. In this particular instance though, our washer gets industrial use. It needs insurance.

I bought a five year package from the repair man, repairs included $500. Thats $100 a year to guarantee it doesn't break down again, less than 50 cents a day. The washer is two years old. In seven years we can consider replacement. As a front loader it should have held up better. Now it will, because it has insurance. The laundry mat cost me $4 a load plus inconvenience. I do a load every day if not two to three. Insurance for this one is worth every penny.

I took advantage of the second machine maintenance discount while the repair man was here. I had him clean out the drier. He must have collected two pounds in change out of the drier guts. That cleaning was definitely worth every penny. I knew there was stuff in it where there shouldn't be, because I had had it jamb up before. I just tipped it upside down and shook it when that happened. That fixed the problem, removed the rock or change blocking the belts. Having it professionally cleaned was wonderful. Now it will be happy for a while.

I was right. The end result was about a Thousand dollar day. But my appliances will all have new life breathed into them. The only thing they wouldn't fix was the instant hot water on the sink. I will just have to go buy a new one. Tom said he would install it, having heard how much we just spent on repair men. But all the repairs had to be done sooner or later. I would rather have the benefit of them now.

Yeah, my laundry is fixed. I was told to run a cup and a half of white vinegar through an empty load first, due to the bad water sitting in it for a week. It smelled like sewer upstairs when the washer door was opened. the vinegar will also help rinse out old soap in the lines. He recommended doing that once a month to keep the lines clear. I am going to start a load right now then I am off to buy a new instant hot water. I had to turn off the cold water under the sink due to the dripping of the instant hot. Now all I need are new floors for the torn vinyl in front of the fridge. That was caused by melted ice cubes not picked up from using the ice maker. Well, maybe next year that will be on my wish list. Today I am just happy to get what I did get done. We are hard on a house.