Turning 50

We were supposed to be hosting a friend of Trevor's for the weekend but due to grades being below par that got canceled. Instead Tom and I headed to Seattle without children to see an old friend turn 50. His wife was hosting a dinner for him at a new restaurant in Bellevue. Tom and I got a room at the Marriott down the street from the restaurant.





The drive up to Bellevue was gruelling. There were flood watches . The rain poured down the whole way. Passing a truck was blinding. When we reached Tacoma, the traffic was stop and go on the freeway. Tom is driving with both hands on the wheel in case we hydroplane. We pass a car that has hydroplaned into the concrete meridian. The back end of the car is completely crunched. The police are just arriving to see if the driver is OK. What gets Tom is when there is no accident and still the traffic is slow or stopped, for absolutely no reason.



when we were dating and Tom lived in Eugene and I lived in Seattle, he could do the drive in 4 hours. He would start at two in the morning and miss all the traffic. This drive took us 4 hours to do half that distance. Seattle had heavy traffic on every freeway. It was Saturday, not even a work day, and people were driving everywhere. Tom comments that he wants to move to Montana where there aren't all these people on the roads.



We finally reach our destination. With a half hour to spare on our dinner reservations we have time to drop our luggage and car at the hotel and walk over to the restaurant.



The Wild Ginger has only been open a year. We have a private room in the back. The place is packed with parties. The location is in a new mall next to the Microsoft tower. Neiman Markus and Hermie's are just some of the stores. Swanky and very high end. Tom was lucky the stores were closed. I could blow some serious money in this neighborhood.



Dinner was Divine with a sea bass salad wrapped in fresh cabbage leaves, skewers of chicken and steak and scallops. I used to not like scallops but these were mouthwatering good. There were dipping sauces on the table.



I could have really indulged myself, but I was looking at all the beautiful wives in the room. They looked as young and as beautiful as when I knew them 20 years earlier. These women had stayed in shape. I don't know if it was because they had been chasing after their children for all these years or working out, but I was impressed. I was glad I had on a girdle under my dress so I didn't jiggle in the wrong places.



Our hostess was the wife of one of Tom's oldest and dearest friends. She had asked Tom to say a few words, so it was very important to Tom that we be there on time. A coworker had generously given her afternoon to sub for me so we could leave early enough to make the dinner.

I had my own toast I wanted to share. I had met Mark when I was dating just out of college. My date introduced us. They worked together. I ended up sharing a house on frat row with Mark and another man, when my college roommate and her boyfriend needed more space in the house we were sharing. Mark had a spare room at his house.

When Mark and my other house mate turned 30, they felt they needed to be home owners and have more mature digs. I became a tenant to help pay the mortgage on a town house Mark purchased.

Meanwhile, Mark had told me that an old school friend was coming to visit. This friend was turning 30 and divorced, and really depressed about life. Could I show him around Seattle while he was in town. This depressed friend turned out to be my future husband Tom. Mark told me over the course of the next six months he had seen more of Tom than in the last six years.

Mark and Tom go back to age twelve when Tom moved to Salem. They had a lot of history attending high school together. Tom's toast reflected those old times. I wanted to thank Mark for introducing us. 17 years of marriage, through fun and rough times, we are still together. It was kind of a "Wonderful Life" moment without the suicidal tendencies. Mark has impacted our lives. How different our lives would be if not for having met him. His wife gave Tom advice on how to court me when she was single and dating Mark. It seems like just yesterday except for the teenage children and weight gain I have put on.

Time magazine ran an article about marriage recently. The trend for successful marriages these days is that you have a college degree, wait until you are a little older when your career is established, and marry a peer or equal. You are more financially stable. More women are comfortable not getting married at all. More children are being born outside of marriage than in marriages especially to non college graduates.

Looking around the table at our good friends, I am pleased to note that most of the couples I know are still together. A few have fallen to the "D" word. I am Tom's second marriage. I owe a lot to his first wife. He finished college when she blew him off as a drop out Freshman. She taught him to compromise with his spouse or else. We are not perfect people. Learning to live with the flaws is half the battle. The other half is love and enjoyment of life.

The evening was a delightful catch up on every one's children. Some are reaching their senior years of high school and must now choose colleges. Tom warns me I must not live vicariously through our children. Let them make their own choices. Aah, but were is the fun of parenting in that. So, I give a little nudge in the right direction. Beaver nation is not the only nation in the world. Private schools have more scholarships.

Anyway, the party was a great success. The hostess even had adult goodie bags for all the guests. The bags had music CDs and beautiful blown glass wine corks. Tom and I walk back to our hotel while everyone else has to get in their cars and drive. In Seattle, no where is close.

In the morning, Tom slept in while I walked over to that expensive mall. He was lucky it was Sunday and nothing was open. The clothes in the windows were so wonderful. When I got back to the hotel I threatened Tom that if he didn't get me out of here before the stores opened he would be sorry in his pocket book. He crawled out of be and we checked out.

The drive home was almost as bad as the drive up. The rain was unrelenting, but this time we had all day to get home, so we could relax and not rush.

When we arrived home my sister looked exhausted. She is working two jobs these days. Every other weekend she works at a church downtown as the coordinator for events. She plans weddings and memorials and special events the church hosts. This weekend she had wanted to play with the boys. She took them all to the singing Christmas tree and then to the movie Tangled, and stayed up most of the night. The cousins all had fun. She on the other hand looked like she could due with a nap.

What a lovely weekend.