reviewing

I went to visit a friend in the hospital yesterday. He was having a good day. Fresh blood in his veins had given him a happy mood and energy. Other visitors arrived so I eventually left. Riley was with me. The traffic around the hill was backed up due to construction on the roads, so I decided to go up rather than down the hill when we left the parking lot. I know a way over the hill that lands you on another freeway. My parents live this way.





Since I was driving by their home I thought I could stop in and pick up the weed eater my Dad had brought back from the beach. It is a big monster gas powered machine with a steel blade and 7 feet long. You wear it with a harness so you don't throw your back out. Tom had bought it when we lived in the country then gave it to my Dad to hang on to when we moved to a smaller lot in the city. Now we are borrowing it back again for the blackberries. The weed eater had to be maneuvered into my car as it was so long and the wide arm handles made it too big for the trunk.





Mom and Dad were home. They invited us in to chat which turned into dinner. I didn't mind missing rush hour on the freeways so I accepted the offer. A new Subway had opened in the area. Riley and Dad went to order and pick up dinner. Riley knows how to do Subway. I figured no matter how hard I tried I would probably mess up his order if I went did it. He likes to order anyway. Dad told us about ordering the food when they got back. Riley got up to the counter and just rattled off a whole list of items he wanted on his sandwich. Dad could tell Riley had done this before.





It made Dad's job easier if Riley ordered anyway as this weekend Dad had his four front teeth just fall out of his mouth while he was sitting at the desk. He had an old bridge in his mouth fail. He has been hiding in the house until he can get to the dentist. Mom has been teasing him, making him show everyone the huge gap. He will be getting a temporary bridge on Tuesday. He had been warned that the work needed to be done but had put it off as the cost was quoted around $6000. I am sorry this didn't happen while they were in Arizona as he could have had the work done in Mexico for 1/4 the price, while on vacation. I had told them I had heard the work and technology is just as good at a fraction of the cost, but they were more comfortable doing the work at home with someone they were familiar with. Dad had put it off and waited until he had absolutely no choice and was home.





Riley and I stayed and chatted and ate. Finally we hit the road. When we got home I sat at my computer to clear away the junk mail. My girl friend with the sick child had told me she had been reading my blog to see Riley's old numbers and compare experiences with her own son. It made me curious as to what I had written so long ago.

Sunday, February 8, 2010 I called the advice nurse after bedtime. That was the beginning of this journey.My journal started a few days later. It was after 1:00 am before I realized how late it was, as I read through the first few weeks of that February. I had to quit and go to bed because of the time.





I found my writing barely scratched the surface of my memories. It brought back flash pictures of moments and people. The friends that came to my aide. Jaimie packing Riley's trophies for the room makeover. Wynter feeding everyone spaghetti lunch. Tiffany helping install the laminate boards on the floor. Elaine and Paula painting the bathroom Gray. Michelle coming over to vacuum and drop off a meal. Becky and Susan and Sherry leaving meals regularly and vacuuming. Betty, the boy's school Principal, bringing Mac and Cheese. Those were just some of the people. I missed a few names as over the course of those weeks of back and fourth to the hospital and long days, lovely people just showed up and kept my life from falling apart entirely.





I remember Trevor walking himself home to an empty house until one of his parents could come home. Getting his homework done as he should, being helpful, being his up beat self and entertaining his brother who was house bound and lonely every day. I remember the tutor, Kathy, being flexible with the scheduling, and just keeping one step ahead in math of Riley, and making study fun for an isolated child. I remember the bible study boys coming over and reading with Riley at the dining table. They would laugh and get distracted so easily as they discussed the study segments. Riley would argue like his father just for the sake of discussion.





My Mom and Dad and Sister brought subway sandwiches to the hospital. They would bring food from home since the hospital food was unsalted and bland. My Mom would sit with me at lunch in the clinic when we had to stay for transfusions. The list just goes on of all the good wonderful people that made the world continue around us, while our focus was centered on Riley. Coming home from long days at the clinic and driving through rush hour, exhausted physically and emotionally, and finding dinner ready to be warmed up or in the crock pot already to be eaten. Some dear person had prepared our family dinner.

Riley and I would wrap up in the gorgeous prayer shawls, hand made and prayed over, gifted to us by one of Riley's teachers. We would feel as if wrapped in a warm hug, while sitting waiting in the clinic for transfusions, or at home hanging out, knowing loving hands had done their best to send us messages of caring in every stitch. Riley still wraps up in his shawl in his room while reading in bed.


Moving away will be hard knowing that a lot of those faces will be left behind. I wont run into them at the grocery store any more or stop to chat in the school parking lot. I don't want to lose touch, but they have lives and inevitably I will lose contact with some. I just want everyone to know how much I appreciate them, that I haven't forgotten and as I read my old entries it all comes back so vividly how stressed and strung out I felt, white knuckled from driving in traffic, worrying about having an accident with Riley in the car. How much relief and happiness I felt walking into my home at night and finding food for dinner all ready to go.

Riley's room is still the cleanest room in the house. Reading those entries puts into perspective our priorities in life. Friendship and simple help can make all the difference during a crisis.

I am both sad to have to offer my help, and grateful for the opportunity to pass on that gift of help and warm regards to my girl friend now in the hospital with her sick child. The parents have been doing the sleep overs with their child in the lock down ward, in isolation for germ exposure. Her son is taking longer than Riley to get through this torturous disease. They are going on three months with another month anticipated of living in the hospital.

She has other children. I feel blessed to be able to offer assistance where I can for their family, to pass on that same gift of love and thoughtfulness my family received from all sorts of people. She lives in the town where we are moving. I can't wait to be able to do even more for them. It means a lot to me to "Pass it forward", that love shared. I have faith that our little friend will respond to treatment and recover as Riley is doing. It is both a slow and fast experience. It seems like just a short time ago we were in the throws of panic. The fear and emotion is still raw just below the surface. I still look for signs on Riley. Riley is doing so well a year and a half later. Modern science is amazing.

I feel warm hugs engulfing me every time I think about all those freinds and strangers that helped. I can't thank everyone enough and will never be able to. The only way I see to thank people is to pass that same thoughtful consideration on to another Mom I know going through the throws of panic with a sick child. Give her the hug of help that gets the rest of the family through the crisis and eventually to the other side, where she can look back on the nightmare and see that many people really cared and prayed and helped get the family through it all. She and her son are not alone in the dark.

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