Saturday, June 18, 2011

Thursday nightmare-cory

I had my niece and nephew with me this week. My sister has a great new job and camp doesn't start until next week. Everything went pretty well during the first part of the week. I packed, the kids played on the computer, Trevor went to football camp, Will, my nephew, bounced balls.

The first balls Will bounced were the balls from the pool table on the concrete patio. I confiscated those balls and put them safely out of reach. He found a can of tennis balls to entertain himself with after that. I packed and sorted to the sound of bouncing balls. At least I knew what he was up to then. We were not child proof like I usually am when Will visits. The house was a mess. Food he shouldn't eat was accessible and not locked out of reach.








On Tuesday I went out with a couple of friends for dinner. They had wanted to catch me before we moved away. Just to the Mexican restaurant down the street. The kids were left in charge of watching Will. It was early in the week and we hadn't yet tired of the vigilance. At dinner my friends shared their family issues; sick husband, mother in law with memory issues living with them. Aaah, it felt so good to know this is what we women do. We handle these issues. We fill the need.





Thursday, Tom came home early. I had hoped the cousins would be picked up Thursday by their Dad, but that didn't happen. My sister had told him it was fine to leave them with me. It lasted about 15 minutes once Tom walked in the door. He called and left a message asking when would the spares be gone. No one called back. My stress level began to rise. I was tired.

The renters had called during the afternoon and were threatening to pull out of the deal because we weren't contributing to the cost of their remodel. They didn't get that we are not putting any more money than necessary into this house. It is a rental unit. You get what you get. They are getting in two weeks early at our inconvenience to do what they feel needs to be done. We are not charging them rent for those two weeks.

I like laminate. They want to put down carpeting. They want to paint the whole house to their tastes. We gave them permission, but we are not paying for any of it. I don't like carpeting. It would rent just fine as it is without our making any changes. I will have it clean and the yard weeded and barked. That is as far as I go. Tom doesn't even want to do that.

I responded through our property manager. She definitely earned her keep that day as she negotiated and mediated both cranky parties. I said I would paint the bright green bedroom. It would be white paint and they would not get in early. Tom said to ask if they wanted a three year lease with the option to buy at the end of that time at a specified price agreed upon. Our philosophy is that if they are complaining about our not helping with the costs of what they want to do then perhaps they want to buy the place, having put all this time and money into it. We want the house gone and with as little loss as possible. We have to sell within five years. They only signed a lease for one.

They were leaving for vacation and I didn't have time to meet with them that day especially with extra children and having to be vigilant with Will. I figure it was buyers remorse that they were just trying to push to see what they could get. But there isn't anything to get. It is a rental unit. She had come through a few days earlier to take another look around with her mother. We are in the midst of packing. Boxes and mess was everywhere. In hindsight I should never have let her come over. I was too nice. It scared her that the house wouldn't be ready.

At the same time as I am venting to my property manager about their inability to understand this is a rental, my real estate agent calls. If we can get papers signed with just a slight adjustment in price they will facilitate the second bank accepting our offer. They won't change the closing date from August, but once all parties accept we can close without delay. We don't have to wait for the end of the month of July.

I am almost wishful the renters would take me up on the offer to paint Trevor's room so we can have a few extra weeks to stay and wait for closing. Not having a house to move into is very stressful to say the least. The renters won't be back from vacation for two weeks. I am not going to think about that potential problem until then.

My printer ran out of ink in the middle of printing the latest contract needing my signature. I ended up receiving a fax copy and re faxing it back. Being without ink was not helping my stress. Time was critical as the BA agent was going on vacation and would forward the paper work only if it was on her desk first thing Friday morning, otherwise we would lose at least another week waiting. August will be four months waiting. Since the second just has to sign off on the contract I pray for a quick approval. We may yet make our deadlines and not be homeless.

Friday, I drop Trevor off at practice. It is a scrimmage day and beautiful. I stop by the store to pick up allergy meds for Tom. When I get home I ask if anyone wants to go watch the scrimmages. Everyone says "no". Tom says he wants to make breakfast and needs bread. I run back to the store. I buy some other things we need and as I unload I warn Tom to put everything up out of reach of Will so he doesn't eat anything he shouldn't. While carrying in the bags of groceries, I see Will bouncing on a painting that had fallen over from being leaned against a wall waiting to be packed. That was my final straw. Tom had not signed on to watch Will and was oblivious, the others were ignoring Will while on the computer playing games.

I yelled that all the kids were to put their shoes on and get in the car. I did not want to leave Will unsupervised in my house while I went to watch Trevor play football. The kids were all coming with me. They would watch Will at the football field where I knew he would not be destroying the house while my back was turned. No one spoke on the ride to the field.

I dropped them as far away from the scrimmage field as I could, and then went to watch the game. I could see them sitting in the adjacent field just hanging out. At least they weren't in the house anymore, bothering Tom or breaking things. It was a lovely day. I had made everyone put sun block on in the car ride over.

My poor friends, though. Everyone I ran into received my vent. I probably chased away several parents. It was just not my day. I was done with stress. I ran into a lovely mom I hadn't seen in a while. She shared her tales of family woes with me. It made me feel better to know that this kind of life is normal at times. This level of stress happens to everyone. It also helped to take that time out in the sun and just sit. I lost a day of packing, though I put in four hours when I got home that evening.

I can't say I handled my issues on Friday with grace or aplomb. When My ex brother in law did pick up his children, he was an hour earlier than planned, thanks to my calling his office and venting. I apologized to him in front of my niece when he arrived, so she knew I was sorry for when I told her her father was a word I wont print when he didn't call me back after two messages had been left earlier.

She gave me a hug of forgiveness. She had had a great week with the cousins. A little thing like her Auntie blowing a gasket was not going to spoil her memories of the week with the cousins. I wear my life on the outside. I don't like secrets. I knew my niece probably might say something about my disastrous lack of decorum in the last 24 hours. I had better just fess up and say sorry to her parents before they heard about it from her.

If I hadn't had so much going on emotionally with the renters, the house contract with the printer dying, Tom coming home and needing his space, the house being in such disarray and not child proofed for William. I hit a brick wall and exploded. Now, so far, everything is resolving itself or can be pushed out in time. The contract is with the second bank. The cousins are gone. The renters went on vacation for two weeks and didn't cancel before they left. The packing is making progress including the garage. It was just a rough couple of days so we can appreciate and recognize the good days when they come back again.

Positive Vibes, please.

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