Food fight

Trevor out grew Tom's wardrobe this year. I finally caved in a few weeks ago and took him shopping. He didn't want to go because he and his brother were on the x box. I got Tom to make him. So you can imagine the mood he was in. Pouting and groaning the whole time. So unappreciative of the money I was about to spend on him. I told him he had to come because he complains that I don't pick out things he likes.

I swung by the thrift store first, hoping we could make this a cheap experience. The thrift store was closed. Trevor was desperate for some pants that he could button up. He had some band performances and eighth grade promotion coming up. He had to have clothes that fit. I caved in and went to Fred Meyer, which is in our neighborhood and would have everything we needed. I know some of you are laughing that we didn't go to the mall. But you try driving a block with a cranky teen in your car and you see how far you get. I had to do the clothes, but he was being such a pill I just didn't want to draw out this time. I even offered to make it a fun experience but Trevor didn't think it was manly going clothes shopping.





He had been complaining that he didn't like the selections I picked out, which was why I was dragging him along in the first place. Otherwise it would have been you get what you get and you don't throw a fit.





It was somewhat my way of lessening the blow of not going on the band trip for grades. He did not bring his grades up. I still am unsure whether he is getting promoted. The jury is still out.





He barely spoke to me on the day the band left. They didn't win for the first time in four years. They came in second. One boy told me it was because Trevor wasn't there. The seventh grader that took over his part playing the crash cymbals was not nearly as good as Trevor I was told. Trevor had been awesome at the concert night at school. He wore his new clothes and looked wonderful. But he had to have passing grades in my book for me to pay for the band trip, which was not cheap. $250 for each of us.





Trevor did pick out some shirts I probably would not have chosen, so I did feel it was worth suffering his disgruntlement to get him clothes he liked. I spent $257 on his new wardrobe. Four pairs of size 38 waist band pants and a few nice shirts, not T shirts but not button down either. Just nice pull overs. I also had him pick out underwear and socks and a belt. It was the whole package from the skin out. It still didn't thrill him and the errand was done in less than an hour. Though it seemed longer with cranky boy along.





I feel guilty that the band may have lost the competition because Trevor didn't go. But I had to show him how strongly I felt about his grades. I don't think it worked too well as he still hasn't improved them much. Its all homework. Tests are fine and passing. The school grades on effort and one way to measure effort is if you can get your work in on time.





This week is promotion. A small group of eighth graders had a food fight at their table. The boys have been suspended for three days including missing promotion. Trevor told me their names. I had my heart in my throat because they were boys Trevor knew. He could have easily been one of those boys. A wonderful dinner theater had to be canceled, possibly as a result of the food fight suspensions. Some of those boys were supposed to perform at the Dinner theater.





I was proud that Trevor had not been one of the suspended boys, as Animal House is one of his favorite movies. I am glad he realizes it is just a fun movie and not real life. I also feel that because I do take the hard line with my boys (sometimes Tom says I am too hard), my boy was not among those suspended. I police my own children so someone else doesn't have too. They fear my anger and punishment more than the school.


I think a three day suspension and missing promotion ceremonies is a pretty harsh punishment for a food fight that was just at a table. but I also know the fear schools have that food fights could become a huge animal house fiasco and a cleaning nightmare. Food fights are always punished severely to discourage them from happening again. Those boys probably wont do it again. Neither will anyone who heard the punishment. If Trevor had been suspended it wouldn't have stopped with school punishment.

He was suspended for defending himself last year when he was jumped on from behind. There were witnesses that defended him by saying he did not start the fight. He kicked the boy that attacked him and swore loudly using an expletive not allowed at school or at home. He kicked the boy from lying on the ground having been knocked over in the initial pounce. He kicked from lying on the ground and made good contact. As a result he was suspended for a day. The proper response was to curl up into the fetal position and wait for a teacher. I gave him a little slack and didn't yell. He spent the day doing chores, no access to TV or X box or computer. It was the only time he has been suspended. There has been no repeat.

My hope is that he will now get his grades up and keep them up as he knows I will ground him for grades.We will see. The verdict is still out. He definitely will not get to drive or a cell phone or any other gizmo until he has decent grades. At least he looks good in his new clothes that can button at the waist.





I was sorry that my punishing Trevor resulted in the loss of the first place trophy. The teacher had asked me if I would let him go, but he had F's and not just one. I had been hopeful that the school might step in and get a tutor to help if they wanted him to go that much, but that didn't happen either.





In the end I am happy my son made the good choice to keep himself out of trouble because he knew getting into trouble with his mom would be worse. He is learning good judgement.