Stress tears

I swung by Home Depot and picked up book boxes and tape. I tried to pack some boxes yesterday. Mid way through the first book box, I found a cute children's book I hadn't read. I figured it would be quick, and sat down on the bed to read. The book took longer than I intended. I heard the children come in from school, just as I finished. It is going to be a hard packing at this rate. Trevor though did pitch in and start doing the books in his room. I was really proud of him. Riley played x box, moving the boxes I had placed that blocked the TV.

PTA had their final meeting. last night. This one was held at a member's house so we could have wine and celebrate. It was lovely. I enjoyed the camaraderie. I took tequila and margarita mixer, and a blender and made up a batch. It was a mellow crowd, I didn't have too many takers. I drank most of it. It was a pretty weak batch out of consideration, but it still tasted great. I ended up bringing most of the fixings home.

We will just use the Tequila later. Either an empty house party, once we are all packed or a new house party depending on the move and landing spot. Many of our friends don't drink anymore as good role models to their children, or because they got burned and had to give it up. I love hosting parties at my house because then I can enjoy the drinks and not worry about driving. I have always been a social drinker. Though I did enjoy those mornings after when I didn't drink the night before and felt great and strong the next day. I have been low to no alcohol for a few years. I wanted to give my children a good example. Show them they have choices. With the stress in my life right now, I have enjoyed relaxing over a cocktail now and then. Getting out and escaping the drama.

I have been crying over my computer screen lately, as I follow the postings of my friend with the sick eleven year old boy. I am so scared for them. He is not the poster child as Riley was. Everything that can go wrong has. He had a blood transfusion that caused blood blisters in his mouth and on his face. He now has to have his lungs biopsied for a spot that might be a fungal infection.

I worried when he went home that first time. He has a basement bedroom. Molds and spores and fungus are the most dangerous exposures for people with Aplastic Anemia. It is why I ripped out the carpets for solid flooring and started cleaning and vacuuming and put an industrial filter in my son's room, before he came home from the hospital.

I don't stress it so much now, but that filter still runs in his room. I still owe my sister for getting it. Eventually I will be in a position to pay her back. I doubted her at the time for her paranoia. But after six months with a week of not having it on, and Riley getting stuffy noses and just not feeling as well, I realized it made a huge difference. It may have saved his life for all I know. Kept some mold or fungus away from him that could otherwise have taken root and killed him.

I am so worried about this sweet dear boy, who used to play baseball and now probably wont be able to play again for years. He doesn't know it yet. We are still praying that he survives as at every bend and turn, something horrible happens. Spiking fevers, allergies to medications, you name it, he has been doing this decease the hard way. Even when we were in the throws of survival with Riley, we did not suffer the setbacks this child is seeing constantly. We did have a couple visits to the ER, but Riley always bounced back. I like to think it was my positive vibes and Tom's proactive approach.

Anyway with the stress of getting packed with no where yet to move, I have been following their saga, which puts my situation into perspective. My life is so easy at the moment compared to that sick child striving to live and how his parents are feeling. I am having a picnic in comparison. Life is good. I know we will come out fine somewhere. So my stuff, our stuff ends up in storage for a while, worse case scenario. Or we move twice. We will land on our feet. We are healthy, excited about the future, and have options. Options are good. They are fantastic.

I just cry with fear over my little friend and his family. I know too intimately how they feel, what is going through their minds at the moment. There is nothing they can do but pray, and hope he responds to the next course of action. The future is not under their control. The outlook is unknown.

I still have control of our future. My life is a piece of cake. I have houses to look at and choices to make. The dive dropped its price, but they let it sit too long damp and unloved. It now has a bad case of black mold in the basement. Because of the black mold and Riley, it is now completely off the table as an option, land value only. Who would want to build a house when you can buy one already built for so much cheaper, including remodeling.

The FSBO is still available. We would probably have to move twice if we bought that house. It also needs a 45 year face lift that would be a little spendy. I keep extending our contract on the big house. It is a commute to our club. But the boys will be driving. They could become cab drivers for us. Get them a little scooter they could put in the trunk. I have seen it done in the city. It could be big business at the club or at least for their parents. Designated driver, mmm, I will research that idea. Trevor would love a scooter. I would love one with limited speeds. Another club member has a scooter. I will ask him how he likes it.

Meanwhile, I need to get back to packing. I am going to have the boys carry boxes downstairs for me when they get home from school. The renters want to come through and pick colors and take measurements. I am so hopeful that they will eventually buy the place once they are back into a position to get a mortgage. Two years I am guessing is the time they would need. They already said they probably want to stay two years. Am I being too optimistic to think that our first renters will eventually buy our house in two years? We have to sell within five years for tax reasons or take a big penalty hit in capital gains because of the depreciation.

"Positive Vibes, Baby. Positive Vibes." ( Odd Ball from the movie Kelly's Heroes")