Testosterone

I walked in on hostility last night. I had been at work all day. It was Saturday, so all the men were home playing games on the computer or watching TV. Anything more than 5 hours I find is unhealthy. It is one of the reasons, when I am home, the boys don't get to turn on the electronics first thing. We do chores instead, while they are fresh. I try to delay as long as possible.

They had been plugged in all day. About an hour before I came through the door, there had been an emotional explosion. Name calling in the game room over the x-box, who was more talented, who was smarter, who was fatter, and who was a sick weakling. Riley pounced first, but Trevor defended himself and retaliated, until their father broke them up. Testosterone is hard to contain without periodic physical activity. The boys were in their rooms pouting , when I came home with food.

I walked in calling for help with the grocery unloading. When the elephants didn't hit the stairs, I noticed the tension in the house. Tom called out for the boys, only Trevor appeared and slowly. Tom yells for Riley, who comes down and melts into tears with his father. Trevor gets another yelling, this time outside in the pouring rain, by his father. Before the deck door slammed shut on the deck I could hear Tom reminding Trevor that Riley, his only brother, has a life threatening disease. There was to be no physical fighting.

It had started with name calling, but Riley had thrown the first punch. I feel for Trevor. A guy has to defend himself. It is nice to know my boys will defend themselves. Neither one is a wimp. They just need to know how to take a step back. That takes parenting to teach.

I watch Tom from the balcony upstairs, after every one's tempers have passed. He is showing Trevor some boxing moves and how to punch properly. Keep your hands up, how to hold your wrists so you don't break them. O.K., this is why boys need male figures in their lives. It would never have crossed my mind to show them how to improve their fighting skills, after they had just been fighting. That was just strange to me. Maybe he was doing it because standing in a boxing stance looks so silly, someone will start laughing and the situation will diffuse itself naturally. Men are different.

The boys get the car unloaded. I have bought a lemon cake. I tell them each not until after dinner. It is really funny how a treat can defuse a situation. Riley notices the cake first. He perks right up, after giving me a long mommy hug. I tell him first real food. He sees the cereal, and asks for a bowl. I say OK. Dinner wont be ready for an hour. Trevor comes in with his bags and sees the cake. The same conversation ensues. Trevor settles on an apple, no hug, it is more like a pat on the back.

I have the boys gather the dirty dishes from around the house and get some counter space cleared to prepare beef stew. If you cut the chunks of raw meat up really small, the stew is ready all that much faster. All you have to do is wait for the carrots to soften and cutting the carrots really small helps them cook faster also. Riley likes his carrots quartered in chunks, not chopped tiny, so I don't use the chopper, even though I like the chopper because I like the tiny pieces. Feeding Riley is of primary importance. We cook it the way he likes it today. The boys need a little estrogen love.

Trevor has not done any of his chores in a couple of days. I send him out for the cans of garbage that have been on the street since Wednesday. He takes out the garbage pile built up in the kitchen with me helping. Tom tells him to get the mail. It is raining, but I think the fresh air will do Trevor some good. Get up and walk around after a day of TV games, ending in a fight.

The boys have recorded a new movie, RED. Tom caught a glimpse of it and said it was fun. We eat dinner in front of the TV, as a family. We each share blankets with the boys. The stew is delicious. The stew pot is empty by the time the movie ends. The mood is totally different from two hours earlier.

One thing that did come to light is Tom realized that his teen age boys do need their father to step in upon occasion, more often now that they are teenagers. They are just too big for me to handle. Riley weighs 127, but Trevor weighs 185 easily. I am not sure how I would have broken up a brawl. They need a male figure to talk to them about their expectations and behavior. Hearing it from their mother , 50% of it goes in one ear and out the other. Hearing it from their Dad, they might remember a bit more and respect the source as understanding manly things that a mere female would not understand.

Everyone is fine now. But I sure liked my babies when they were babies. These big young men take even more work than those helpless babies that I did everything for. Teenagers are hard work.