The other boys

Every child is unique and different. I can get Trevor to take out the garbage or throw on a load of laundry, or feed the cat, with no talking back, just a "Sure". He says thank you when needed.

Then there is my child that gets good grades without batting an eye. He is easy to live with, keeps a low profile when I am cranky, and knows when I need a hug to defuse me. Today he needed a lift to school early to finish a test or an assignment. He takes advantage of those offers when a teacher says he will be available for make up work. It is great for Riley who has missed days and will probably miss more days because of his health.

I get up and dressed and tell Riley to meet me at the car. I head outside. It is garbage day so while I wait for Riley to come out, I take the garbage to the street. Three cans, three trips, still no Riley, I start the car and back out. Riley comes out the front door with a grin. He has been waiting for the chauffer to warm up the car.

He requests music, not news, on the radio. When I drop him at the school, he requests I drive up close to the door he likes. I don't mind as it is not busy, otherwise I would drop him at the curb and make him walk the block to the school, in order to avoid the traffic. We are early so going right up to the door was not a problem. But when the boy gets out, does he even look back? or say "Thanks for the lift Mom?" Not this child.

We will be having conversations about manners when he gets home tonight. I might make him do some of Trevor's chores for a change. He had better have good grades to compensate for the bad manners.

His teachers seem to like him, but they are probably just relieved he cares about the work and makes an effort. I should ask Riley how many others take advantage of these make up hours. I told Riley if he gets straight A's I would give him $50 so he could eat off campus. He hasn't been able to go to Burgerville in a while. He was spending more on lunches than Tom or I do. I paid for his cafeteria bill. Lunches for students are less than $2.50. He was spending almost $10 a lunch at Burgerville.

He is so skinny, I may just let him eat at Burgerville to put on some weight, But I want him to think he has earned it. Food tastes funny to him. He barely eats any dinner if he has the slightest dislike to the food. I need to stock up on the foods he does like so I can substitute. Problem is Trevor likes everything. If I buy Riley special food, Trevor will eat it also, and my food bill goes through the roof.

Last month I had $1500 on my card, mostly for groceries and meals from restaurants or Pizza. Only $250 was restaurants. $1000 for groceries. I am trying to be frugal. I really am. I don't know why my bills are so much more than other people's.

Now that I work, I am buying for seven dinner meals each week. I pick out the meats for the week and the sides that go with them. I buy sale items and bulk purchase where I can. The boys need fresh fruit and like it, so I buy for the week apples, oranges, and bananas. I get vegetables, both fresh and canned. For snack and breakfast I get cerial. To avoid arguments, I am now buying two boxes of the same cerial. One for each boy. Both boxes will be empty within two days. There isn't anything in the cart that wont be consumed. The bill comes in around $150 to $200.

I try to go only once a week, but there is always something needed. This week I forgot margerine, oil, and frozen juice. I am trying to postpone as long as possible another trip. Perhaps I can tie in those things to next week if we can hold out that long.

Tom's habits don't help. The gum, which he goes through like they are M&M candies, costs $70 a week for two boxes. I got a great deal when they were on sale, two for one. But the sale ended. He does two boxes of gum a week if not more when he is stressed. This is nicorette gum. He is trying to give up copenhagen by substituting the gum. We like to encourage good habits, but the gum is more expensive than the copenhagen the way he uses it.

With Riley's approaching Doctor's appointment, Tom is going through almost three boxes of gum a week. Golf is cheaper.

We used to have a club bill regularly over $1000 every month, but that included golf and Tom's food. Our grocery bill was cheaper back then, each week, about $100 each visit. I could make the argument that the club saved us money.

It is the red meat that does us in. The meat often costs $10 a meal, just for the meat alone. Add in the other ingredients to make a meal and its $20 a dinner, still cheaper than the restaurant bills by at least half. Pizza is a break even, especially if I get a salad to go with it. So 20x7=$140 for just dinners. Add in the other meals on weekends or breakfasts and there is our grocery bill for the week, easily $200, ack. I may have to talk to Tom about going vegetarian, but that will just make him chew more gum.