Graduation gifts

I am going to have to start editing the shows Tom is allowed to watch. Every time we find one about a sick child he reads our situation into it and gets teary eyed in his recliner. We need to stick to comedy and action flicks.

This summer a couple of his relatives are getting married. The date of one of them is during our trip. We could probably make a quick appearance, but Tom says he will be stressed enough already with the thought of traveling with his family. He doesn't even like to go out to dinner with us all.

I am thinking of making our plane seats at opposite ends of the plane so we can all enjoy ourselves. Tom usually up grades himself to first class anyway. I am too cheap to do it. We flew coach and first class to Reno on our 5th anniversary. I wanted to spend all my money in Reno and Tom likes his first class. I had no money left for an upgrade on the way home even if I had wanted to do it.

My mom asked what Riley would like for eighth grade graduation. Tom said eighth grade graduation wasn't that special, not like high school or college. Mom was thinking a sport coat that fit. She thought we could use it on our trip. We are not going to be doing anything that fancy and the weather will be too hot for a jacket anyway. A jacket would be nice, but he'll out grow it soon enough. I recommended an activity or experience. We are all into experiences these days. May be a concert. Riley can't do rides, but an adventure to someplace new would be great. I am to ask Riley what he might like.

An outdoor concert might be really cool now that I think on it. We loved the Gorge pre children. Clark county has an outdoor amphitheater. Trevor would be all over a rock concert or any concert for that matter. Maybe a musical. I will see what is coming up. I read an article that said a child wont remember a particular gift but an activity will leave a memory and impression. Riley remembers the trip to Tucson last year and the year before. He loved Kitt Peak and the Davis air museum with my dad. He remembers my dad because of the experience.

When I look back on my own childhood I remember Christmas at Harrison Hot Springs when the electricity went out and I got a beautiful doll, which I still have. It was the only gift that christmas because of the trip, but I remember it more from the special experience and adventure of that Christmas. I remember road trips to the beach feeling car sick on the old Highway 26. Stopping in Tillamook for that incredible beef jerky and the squeaky cheese (whey).

I know my boys love Oysterville with their Gigi. They love hanging with Gigi. she makes them sweets and makes them laugh. that is what you want to be remembered for. The presents are superfluous to the experience. They took Riley to Seattle for his twelfth birthday, just Riley. He wrote a paper on the space needle the next year in school. Picking it as a national landmark. He wouldn't have done that if he hadn't been there.

A friend in Seattle took us to the international fountain to play in the water, with his son. The boys still talk about that place and want to go back. Those memories are treasures they will carry in their minds. Experiences to be pulled out later and savored. When we are in our darkest hours, we will sit and remember those sunny days of fun. The fishing trips with their father when they could never catch a fish and then the trip when they did catch fish. The rented speed boat on Devils Lake. Those are what we will be talking about to take us away from the ugly place.

Where will we go next year on our family vacation? We never did get to Lego land, but now the boys are probably too big. On the other hand I think they would like to see the huge Lego monuments and statues. I think Sea World would be fun. Riley wants to go to Scotland eventually. Its where Tom's father was born. Tom wants to go to the birth place of Golf. they are compatible.


A rocket launch was also on Riley's list. Maybe we should go out to the airport and watch some big planes take off and land. We can have lunch while we are there. We used to do that when Tom traveled and the boys were little.

The boys have things, plenty of toys and clothes. What boys love are experiences, adventures, things that get the testosterone going and the blood flowing. That is why Riley wants the family to go to a Nascar race. His Dad has told about the experience of watching a race. Riley wants to be there with him. I am sure after this Make a Wish trip it will be harder for Tom to fly to a race without taking his family with him. But he will get no arguments from me. I have always advocated skipping the gifts for the big emotional bang. Between Tom and myself, we spend on Christmas as much as it might cost to go on a trip. Even birthdays if we do the big bash can easily run hundreds of dollars if not more.

So I told my mom I would ask Riley what he would like. I also told her to think of an experience rather than a jacket and slacks. Take him to dinner. Spend time. The opportunities are just not that many for him to wear a jacket before he out grew it. Cloths for boys? He would graciously accept the gift and thank you, but is that really what you want to be remembered for.

I remember my grandmother Yama being at dinner for graduations. I don't remember what she gave us for gifts, but I remember her being there for holidays and special occassions. The one gift I do remember her giving me was a striped red and white coat. I hated it. They called me the ice cream man at school when I wore it. I have much fonder memories of just being with her, in her presence, the jangle of her bracelets. she always wore at least five bracelets on each arm. She loved bracelets.

The boys don't remember what they got for Christmas, but they remember my dragging them out of bed at 5:30 am to go skiing at the mountains. I know they will reminisce about those trips. I do with my sisters and brother, the humor and the inconveniences. Those are fond memories. That is what Riley needs, fond memories. To know he is loved and life is good and worth living. I want him to have memories of good times. I have to admit though he does love that Dutch Army jacket Gigi gave him for Christmas. When she is on the mark its a win win situation. I just don't think a dress up sport coat will have the same appeal. he will probably pack the army jacket for our trip.