Saturday Trevor's issues

Saturday was long. Feeling a little shaky on my feet after a night of partying. We didn't get to bed until three am. Then off to work the next day. My sister drops by with her kids. I had asked her to stop by at some time so I could get her a pair of shoes as a gift. I had already bought my niece something. My niece had picked out UGGS. I loved seeing Tory, but I was not feeling one hundred percent.

My niece is a size 6 foot. It is at the very small end of what we carry. The size 6's require me to bend over and look at the bottom of the shelves. I really didn't want to bend over at all. I muddled through, but we didn't really have anything she liked in her size. Most of our clients are a bit older then middle school. Tory found a pair of shoes she liked so I placed the order. She has the same size foot I do, and similar tastes. I am just more browns and she likes black. We had to order the color in as we didn't have it in her size.The shoe should come in a couple of weeks. It will be an excuse to see each other again.

I had to laugh. I ended up having at least three people come into the store that day with size 6 or 7 feet. By the end of the day with all the stooping and squatting to pull shoes from the bottom of shelves, my hang over had worked its way through my body. I drank lots of water all day. I felt a little raw, like my blood sugar was off, but I didn't feel that nausea that I had started the day with. I didn't feel like I was going to burp up something I didn't want to taste.

Trevor had a game. There was just time for me to get to the field to catch the end of it, after work. The score was 14 to 46. The boys were not in a happy place. As soon as I arrived Tom went home to catch some football games on TV. He should have stayed. Trevor came off the field despondent by the score and the fact no one from the family was watching him play. His brother never went to his games. His father hadn't stayed to the end. He knew I had only caught the tail end because of work.

I did tell him that his father had watched most of the game and had just left. Even with the loss they still made the playoffs. Next week I can get off early to catch the game. Its a 5:30 pm kick off . We will all go and be there.

Trevor is a juggling match. He is not doing well in school. He drives me crazy by not doing his homework. he is easily distracted and loves putting the homework off. He has a teacher that gives 20% for late work, an automatic F. Sometimes his work is done and makes the round trip. He doesn't hand it in and it comes back home in the back pack again, automatic F.

He had a science project due, a big one. He got an extension on it, but told us it was due the next week, the extension date. I looked at the assignment requirements and realized it was at least a 5 hour project. Trevor wanted to wait until the night before it was due to start working on it, Monday night. That night he had a scheduled football practice. I explained there were not enough hours available if he waited until that day to work on it. I told him I would drive him to school if he would get it done one day earlier, so he could have all Sunday to work on it.

I finally took the assignment instructions to Tom and said "Look at this, Trevor wants to wait until the last minute to get started. This is a five hour project. I am handing this over to you to deal with." It felt so good to abdicate responsibility. I was so tired of arguing with the boy. Tom got involved and it did take all day, at least five hours and research on the computer and a model had to be built.

Trevor did not get it done by Monday, but a large chunk of it was finished. Tom told me it would be done by the due date Tuesday. He had battled through Sunday with Trevor, and was going to get Trevor to finish it by the Tuesday deadline. He did ask that I drive Trevor to school and help deliver the project so it would arrive at its destination in one piece and complete.

Sunday had been Halloween. Trevor did not get to answer the door or dress in costume or participate because he was working on the project. He wept, he cried. I loved Tom's strong arm technique, even though Riley and I took refuge in my bedroom with books during the day, so we could be out of range of the arguing. I knew Tom would win through, though. Trevor gets his stubborn streak from somewhere.

Monday, Tom took Trevor to football practice, but as soon as he was done, it was back to the project. Once home from my work, I stayed upstairs, so did Riley. Trevor told me later, Tom did help when Trevor got frustrated. Neither quite realized how long this project was going to take, but I did. I just had to read the assignment to figure out it was a long project.

Tom has memories of doing crash studies and passing with flying colors. Trevor is not like that at all. Trevor needs to segment his projects, have separate due dates, and then meet those due dates. He notoriously waits for the dates to pass and then realizes things were due, when everyone else starts handing stuff in. There is no forgiveness anymore. A D and two Fs hang in the balance.

Trevor has such a good heart and tries to do the right thing with the social aspect of his life. If only he could find a balance with the educational aspect. He was supposed to Trick or Treat for Unicef. He helped organize the campaign at school and made up the boxes and handed them out. I caught him emptying my change jar into his empty box Monday morning. I told him "No". He looked stricken, but I said he hadn't asked, he hadn't finished his project. He was not in my good graces.

Football practice was a muddy mess Monday night. Tuesday morning, Trevor's shoes were still soaked and muddy. These were his new 12 4Es that I had just given him. He had to wear the old too tight shoes to school. I drove him and the project as I had promised Tom I would. I walked Trevor into school, though he said I didn't need to. I told him I wanted to witness the delivery and I didn't want anyone messing with him or the delicate model.

The science Teacher was in the room. After Trevor handed in the work I said "Isn't there anything else you need to say, Trevor?" Trevor, with his back to the teacher, said "I am sorry it's late". I said "Eye contact Trevor". He turned and facing his teacher, looking him in the eyes, said it again. The teacher accepted Trevor's apology, noting that Trevor should try not to be late in the future. I was grateful for the extension. Not only that, but I had found an e-mail from this teacher in my delete file letting me know about the extension and Trevor's failure to meet the dead lines. "Someone" had been trying to cover up the incident. I asked that Trevor spend his academic x block this week in the science room making up missing work. Usually Trevor goes to math, but we can get the math at home. I can't do the science make ups at home.

As we leave I tell Trevor if this is what I need to do, hand escort him, when he is delivering home work, I will do it. I said since I am no longer able to beat him, I can publicly embarrass him. I said I will make a scene at school in front of everyone if that is what it takes to get him to get his homework in on time. As I left the school I called out over the heads of all the other students, making eye contact with Trevor, I said "Remember, Trevor".

When he got home on Tuesday he said it really wasn't necessary for me to escort him. He had been teased about it. I said I would be doing the escorting until he got his grades up if that is what it took. He worked hard on his math packet I had printed off. He did not finish it though.

So he would know I still love him despite the harsh words, I brought home a new pair of shoes for him from work. this time its a 12.5 4e, so there is a little growing room. They are also black so he can wear them for the required black shoes for band. I do love the size 13 dress shoes he has been wearing though, that belonged to my father at one time. He put on the new shoes Wednesday morning and was really happy with them.

He had worked hard on replacing his missing math assignments Tuesday night. He still has more work to do. The math teacher e mailed me to let me know she is a day behind schedule. Maybe Trevor can get one page in on time. I have printed off the next week, also in preparation. Trevor hasn't learned the stuff yet so he doesn't know how to do it, and wants to wait for the instructions.

The key is handing it in on the proper due date, when we don't know the dates of instruction or the date the assignment will be due in advance. Automatic F for late work. Say he does it but just forgets to hand it in, automatic F. Its a vicious circle. I don't know whether to strangle Trevor or try discussing things with the teacher. This is her policy and she has used it for years, no compromises. I don't blame her. Its just that the system stinks for Trevor.
It would have been fine if she had been teaching Riley.

This is our second year with this teacher. Last year at the end of all those F, he was waived on with a D. What am I to believe? When Trevor reaches high school, the lowest math class does not count toward graduation. It will be an elective. I can only hope that its the tests that count and not the handing in of homework.

Trevor may have to wear damp shoes to practice tonight, as I am not sure the wet ones will be dry in time. These new black shoes are not to be destroyed on the field. We pulled out the insole and opened up the tongue all the way and put a fan on the other shoes, in hopes of speeding the drying process. The cleats we ordered are meant for turf only and are incredibly slick on grass. The bottoms get compacted with mud when playing in grass. the coach told Trevor just to wear his regular athletic shoes for practice and save the cleats for the games. I washed the mud off the cleats so they look good again, and sparkle for the games.

Tom said Trevor played well Saturday night. He probably would have stuck around if the score hadn't been such a blow out. I hope the play off game is close either way. The boys keep their heads in the game if the score is close.

No one said raising kids was easy. As a matter of fact they said it was hard. It does keep life interesting. The emotional highs and lows are invigorating. I am enjoying making Tom step up. The boys being teen agers now respond to their father better than they do me. I like coming home late, after Tom is already home dealing with homework. Tom always said he would step up when the boys were teens, and here we are with teens and Tom stepping up. I am not sure Tom is getting as much joy out of it all as I am. I did like the children when they were cute and little. The terrible twos were not so challenging to me as the teen years are. It may be because college is now looming close. How will Trevor do in high school?