504

We met in the councilor's office. She has a lounge chair and a love seat for two. Another chair was squeezed into the room of the assistant vice principal. One teacher came, his English teacher. Riley and I sat on the love seat.



Riley sat and spoke in monosyllabic phrases; Yes, No. I had to tell him to use his words, full sentences please. He was completely clammed up.




We did decide to table the 504. There was no need for any special assistance for Riley. Other than waving the PE for the year. The councilor made that decision on her own after hearing my description of the decease and concerns. I told them he could do running. The English teacher suggested badminton. I said that would work, but no tennis. He can't get hit by a ball. That was when the councilor said to just skip PE this year and not worry about it. They were asking if he needed to walk in the halls when there weren't other students, be a little late to classes to avoid being jostled. Riley said "No. I'm fine". That was probably the longest sentence he spoke.



I did ask if Riley might be able to get a locker in the building. Right now his locker is so far away he doesn't use it at all. He carries fifty pounds around on his back all day. I did say this was just a general request, not for a sick child. They said they would get back to him in a couple of days. They had to see what was available, track down an empty locker, if there was one.



The meeting lasted maybe 15 minutes or less. It started fifteen minutes late. I think they were waiting to see if any other teachers were coming. I told Riley I wouldn't give him a goodbye kiss as I left. Even though that was exactly what I wanted to do, and a big hug.



He seemed so reclusive this morning. I am hoping in class he opens up more. I did notice when he did his assignment on describing himself, he did not mention his illness. the last year has been all about his illness. It is something for me to take note of, and respect. He wants to be normal like the other kids. He does not want to be weird or different.



I probably should have let him do more of the talking. But he wasn't talking at all. We needed to get the meeting on and over with quickly. If Tom had been in the room I can now feel him squeezing my knee. Its his signal for me to shush and let someone else speak. I just like to get it done and over quickly and efficiently.



Seeing Riley clam up though, I realized the fine line I am on now as the over protective parent with a teen ager. He will not step up and advocate for himself if I am already doing it for him. When and how do you step back.?



We as parents are supposed to pay attention to them. Know who their friends are, spy on their facebook accounts. I have a reserved child, who hasn't been able to spread his wings yet. He probably wont until he moves out of the house. I was a late bloomer. College helped, but it was the real job and new friends when I finally began to explore the world.



Watching Riley be a turtle, brought back so many painful memories of missed opportunities in life. An unhappy painfully shy high school experience, and there is nothing I can do to help Riley get through it any easier. He has to take those risks himself and make the effort himself.



How do you play police parent when you really want him to do something first. He couldn't tell me the last names of the "friends" he has been making at school. He named three boys he knew last night at dinner. That was better than none. And he is happy and loving his classes. Maybe I just have to realize he is an observer personality. He'll be a late bloomer.



I told him his face looked good and asked if he was using his creams. He said yes, then no. He hadn't been regularly using the creams. That means the complexion is all natural. His body is recovering. I am so excited. I can't wait for December to see our new numbers. I don't know if it is the change in modified meds, but I do think he looks better these days.



Make a wish trip is on conference week. I am so bummed I am not meeting the teachers at either school like I should. I haven't decided what I want or can do about it. Benefit is the boys don't miss as much school as they would otherwise, as it is a no school day. I guess it will depend on grades how concerned I need to be. Again, I get the feeling I need to be careful about micromanaging the boys lives. Its a fine line parents walk with teen agers