New plateau

We have reached a new plateau. Trev arranged for me to drop him off at a girl's home. They were to play video games and the girl he likes would also be dropped off at this home. They are all mutual friends. Interestingly enough T says his friends say that he and the girl that lives at this home are more suited to each other than the girl that is visiting. Needless to say I am stressed over the whole event from the beginning. I will do this drop off but must come inside and meet the parents. Confirm that the parents are staying the whole time and that the play date is well supervised and that we are all on the same page with activities. I don't want the kids going off doing mischief or changing their plans to go to the mall without running everything by me.

The girl that T man wants to see, her mother is suspicious of her daughter dating. The mother  wants to meet us before my boy can officially be going out with her daughter. So far we have missed each other in the drop off and pick ups of our respective children. If I were her, I would be avoiding the meeting as much as possible as a delaying tactic. In the lives of teens the interest might end before we ever have to meet the parent.

Meanwhile T had a great time playing video games at a home in a well supervised play date of teen age friends. The girl who hosted the play date had small siblings which I thought was wonderful. What small sibling would be able to keep herself away from her big sister's group party. She would be a built in monitor, not leaving them with any privacy. The mom hosting the teens was very nice and said she would be home the whole time. The TV was in the living room not in some one's bedroom, so that also passed as being in a public space.

It is not that I don't trust my boy, but that Tom and I  try to prevent our children from making poor decisions or thinking with hormones rather than brains, before reacting. There are many stumbling blocks to avoid in life. My sister in New York gave the boys the talk last year when she was out visiting. Working in the big city has exposed her to seeing all the mistakes a teen can make.

She told my boys over dinner one night, that the only control they have when they start having sex is to put that condom on. If they have sex and a girl gets pregnant, it is her body, her choices, and her baby. They will be paying for the next 20 years for the mistake of not putting on a condom. They may not even be allowed to see the child they support, just hand over the money.  She really laid it out there. My boys and myself were bug eyed.

Now Tman is constantly texting one girl or another. I love that he has to come to me for the ride to a friend's house. For at least another year I will be able to monitor his relationships while he doesn't have his own transportation, perhaps longer if he doesn't bring in satisfying grades. The paranoia of thinking about what my baby might be doing with a girl puts Tom and me on the bubble to be meeting and greeting all these new faces. Keeping the conversation links open and positive while we try to direct the boy down a safe path.

My big boy meanwhile, is bringing in the straight A's that make me so happy. He has no interest to escape the family, get his license and start getting out of the house. If we could just meet somewhere in the middle, I would have two perfect boys. Right now though I am just trying to navigate these new waters.