The sun is shining on and off today. Trevor asks me why I am on Daddy's side of the bed when he comes in before leaving for school. I tell him I like to watch the sun come up in the morning and shine the light on my face. My side of the bed is away from the window. He says he likes watching the sun come up also, but its hard to get up early enough. Now that spring is approaching, the trees are blooming. After yesterday's news, I have tentative hopes.
Tom tells me to take Riley to Fred Meyer today when its not crowded. Get him out of the house. I grab a bright sunny spring skirt that reflects my mood. Riley tells me he wants to go to Dennie's for breakfast. I figure if its not too busy we can risk it. Then we'll go to Fred's for shoes.
Easy outing.
I am nervous when we enter the restaurant. Next time I take Riley I am taking a box of wipes also. Just his touching the menus every one else has handled makes me realize the exposure. But as Tom said, we don't want him to feel like he needs to be kept in a bubble. The restaurant is not busy, which helps my stress. Riley orders hot cocoa with whip cream, the steak strips and eggs with tortea wraps with sour cream, peppers and onions, and hash browns.
I order the french toast and eggs with sausage and bacon. Riley likes french toast but he wanted the steak. He eats the steak strips with the sour cream and all his hash browns and a few bites of eggs. Then he lays into my plate. He eats all the french toast and my bacon. I am impressed. He never eats this much. The steroids must be finally effecting his appetite. I eat the eggs and veggies wrapped in the torteas and he eats everything else. We enjoy the moment.
I send him to wash his hands while I pay the bill. We then walk across the parking lot o Fred Meyer. I tell him to grab the Clorox wipes first before touching the cart handle and we wipe it down. I used to think people who did that were a little paranoid. Now here I am wiping it twice in case Riley missed a spot. We head into the store for new shoes.
It turns out Fred Meyer doesn't carry shoe sizes past 13. I tell Riley we will just have to order a pair on line. I am not going to drive that boy to the mall. Not yet anyway. We go to the toy section so he can look at games and rockets for a minute. He wants a rocket but I tell him not until his homework is done. Maybe it will inspire him to get some work done.
I drop him at the house. He is going to get his printer he got at Christmas hooked up and connected to his computer. He needs to print off some assignments and doesn't want to use my computer. I go off to treat myself to a nail manicure repair. Under the pressures of the last week I had ripped off some of my acrylic nails. Tom noticed yesterday at the hospital. He asked if that damage was caused by gardening. Sure, gardening did the damage. So, I went and got my nails redone. They look lovely.
When I got home, Riley had his printer up and running. Not wireless yet, but I bet it will be by the end of the weekend. He had printed off his work. Now he just has to do it.
Trevor has not called so we may be over that hurdle for the moment. If he gets a good grade on that history test I will take him out to Dennie's for a double cheese burger and soup, which is his favorite. But I have to have test in hand before reward. He always says he did fine, wonderful in fact. I will wait for the grade.
I ask Riley how he is feeling. He puts his hand behind his head, flips what little hair he has with his crew cut, and thrusts out his hip. "I feel lovely, Mom", he says teasingly, acting like a runway model. Now, if I can only get my pampered boy to settle down and do a little school work. Life is beginning to feel normal. He even made his own lunch, Kraft macaroni and cheese.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Size matters
Riley put his size 13 shoes on this morning."Mom, my shoes are too tight." I felt the toes. He was right at the end, definitely too tight. Tomorrow we will go early to the store and get him a new pair. Trevor will get the old ones. By the time Trevor is done they are good only for the garbage.
I wonder if it is the growth hormones? something to ask the doctor. Tom and I joke if the feet are the only things that are going to grow. The joke goes right over the boys heads. I do wonder how tall Riley will be when we are done. The nurses measure his height and weight at every visit. It is now taking on greater significance. They may want to know about his shoe size change.
While talking to the doctor, the doctor inquires why the subscription is in 25 milligram doses. Riley can take 50 milligram size pills if he wants. I tell the doctor in this case size matters. Riley likes small pills, the smaller the better.
Riley has also discovered Yoplait yogurt. Expensive brands seem to be the way of my family. I can't even buy cheap mac and cheese. Tom says buy Kraft. The boys like the deli. All these brands my family likes are three times as expensive as the generic store brands. I will never be able to compete in that $60 a week grocery challenge. At least the boys like eggs and waffles. Too bad Tom doesn't.
Trevor called in the middle of our appointment today. He was nauseated again at school and wants to be picked up. I can't get there for an hour, so I just tell the school to give him a vomit bucket and I will be there as soon as I can. After dropping Tom and Riley off at the house I get Trevor. We grab his backpack. The advantage to picking him up like that is his teacher catches me and tells me he has a history test tomorrow.
Trevor sleeps all afternoon. After dinner we work on the test areas: Thomas Paine, Patrick Henry, Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin, Treaty of Paris, Olive Branch Petition. It was fun looking it up and trying to remember it all. I'll quiz Trevor again in the morning. I hope he gets a good grade. He ate his dinner so I hope the stomach bug is gone. I will still have him use our bathroom and continue wiping down Riley's.
It will be a long weekend staring at Riley's zits, waiting for Monday. If his zits bleed, we'll take him in. We told Riley to let us know if he has any weird bruises or sores or the rash reappears. It would be cool though if we make it to Monday without incident. I will take it as a good sign then that we are on the up hill climb now, if we go a week without transfusions.
I wonder if it is the growth hormones? something to ask the doctor. Tom and I joke if the feet are the only things that are going to grow. The joke goes right over the boys heads. I do wonder how tall Riley will be when we are done. The nurses measure his height and weight at every visit. It is now taking on greater significance. They may want to know about his shoe size change.
While talking to the doctor, the doctor inquires why the subscription is in 25 milligram doses. Riley can take 50 milligram size pills if he wants. I tell the doctor in this case size matters. Riley likes small pills, the smaller the better.
Riley has also discovered Yoplait yogurt. Expensive brands seem to be the way of my family. I can't even buy cheap mac and cheese. Tom says buy Kraft. The boys like the deli. All these brands my family likes are three times as expensive as the generic store brands. I will never be able to compete in that $60 a week grocery challenge. At least the boys like eggs and waffles. Too bad Tom doesn't.
Trevor called in the middle of our appointment today. He was nauseated again at school and wants to be picked up. I can't get there for an hour, so I just tell the school to give him a vomit bucket and I will be there as soon as I can. After dropping Tom and Riley off at the house I get Trevor. We grab his backpack. The advantage to picking him up like that is his teacher catches me and tells me he has a history test tomorrow.
Trevor sleeps all afternoon. After dinner we work on the test areas: Thomas Paine, Patrick Henry, Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin, Treaty of Paris, Olive Branch Petition. It was fun looking it up and trying to remember it all. I'll quiz Trevor again in the morning. I hope he gets a good grade. He ate his dinner so I hope the stomach bug is gone. I will still have him use our bathroom and continue wiping down Riley's.
It will be a long weekend staring at Riley's zits, waiting for Monday. If his zits bleed, we'll take him in. We told Riley to let us know if he has any weird bruises or sores or the rash reappears. It would be cool though if we make it to Monday without incident. I will take it as a good sign then that we are on the up hill climb now, if we go a week without transfusions.
Doctor's visit
We arrive at Dornbechers 45 minutes early. Nothing like being prompt and on time. Tom has taken the day off. Uncharacteristically Tom has me drive and sits in the back seat. He has a spiral notebook and is making a list of questions for the doctor. I drive well enough and cautiously that everyone is pleased. I drop Tom and Riley at the front door of the building and go park.
There is a new movie on the screen in the waiting room we have not seen, "The Reef". Riley comments on how its a G movie, which is probably why we haven't watched it before. We get lucky, They call his name soon and we don't have to watch any more of the movie. They have a surgical nurse waiting to clean his Picc. She was up for another case and our nurse grabs her to get Riley done. Blood is drawn and results come back shortly.
The numbers are better or the same as Monday. A marginal improvement, enough to skip Platelets today. We will be back on Monday next week unless we see a big change and think he needs them sooner. This is also after Red cells on Saturday, so holding these levels is a good neutral signal of maybe.
The Doctor comes in. We let Riley listen to the blood work news. Then Tom would prefer to talk to the Doctor with out Riley. I excuse Riley to the playroom. He raises an inquiring brow that we would talk about him without his presence, but he goes. The questions range from what are good expected returns on the numbers. Where will we settle out that are considered acceptable success. How many donors say no. Is the bone marrow success being endangered by the delay. Do the number of transfusions interfere with success of transplant.
Tom wants to make sure that Riley lives a normal life, that he doesn't have to be protected or cossetted. Tom doesn't want Riley living in a bubble or having to be careful the rest of his life.
The doctor responds that this protocol is the standard initial treatment. We have not done anything to jeopardise the bone marrow. This is a lot less invasive and worth a try. He says the numbers considered acceptable are around 100,000 platelets from the 5000 to 20,000 that Riley has been running. That is still low, below the normal range. Some people do get back to normal, about 30% treated. 20% of donors say no, but Riley had a couple good matches so not to be concerned. Tom does not want to have mediocre results. It would make decisions much harder. Good failure or good success numbers are much easier decisions.
Then there are the questions that are causing family issues. How safe and paranoid do we really need to be. The Doctor says we do not have to get rid of plants, but no gardening. If some one is sick have them use a different bathroom from Riley. Riley can go out, but not while its crowded. The Prednizone is what is crushing his immune system right now, so in three weeks he will be slowly weaned off it and will not be so at risk.
Can we fly on a plane come July and go to NY/DC? Yes,by then Riley should be fine to fly and in crowds, if this is successful. We will know in three months. Today we skipped a transfusion. Sounds positive to me. Will it be good enough come May? I hope so.
Meanwhile I will sit down with Riley and pick high school classes with him. I need to find out from his teachers which levels they are recommending for my college bound student. With some success with some modern medicine this boy will be on track again. Maybe no sports for a while, but he had grown out playing much contact sports anyway. I think his father might be sorry about football, but Trevor can still play.
I am off to the pharmacy. They did not have the prescription in stock so I am driving elsewhere. They said they would correct their inventories for the next three months and apologized for the inconvenience. Its irritating because we thought we had this covered a week ago when we discussed it with them. They just didn't pick up on the fact we would be back so often and order enough. They will now.
There is a new movie on the screen in the waiting room we have not seen, "The Reef". Riley comments on how its a G movie, which is probably why we haven't watched it before. We get lucky, They call his name soon and we don't have to watch any more of the movie. They have a surgical nurse waiting to clean his Picc. She was up for another case and our nurse grabs her to get Riley done. Blood is drawn and results come back shortly.
The numbers are better or the same as Monday. A marginal improvement, enough to skip Platelets today. We will be back on Monday next week unless we see a big change and think he needs them sooner. This is also after Red cells on Saturday, so holding these levels is a good neutral signal of maybe.
The Doctor comes in. We let Riley listen to the blood work news. Then Tom would prefer to talk to the Doctor with out Riley. I excuse Riley to the playroom. He raises an inquiring brow that we would talk about him without his presence, but he goes. The questions range from what are good expected returns on the numbers. Where will we settle out that are considered acceptable success. How many donors say no. Is the bone marrow success being endangered by the delay. Do the number of transfusions interfere with success of transplant.
Tom wants to make sure that Riley lives a normal life, that he doesn't have to be protected or cossetted. Tom doesn't want Riley living in a bubble or having to be careful the rest of his life.
The doctor responds that this protocol is the standard initial treatment. We have not done anything to jeopardise the bone marrow. This is a lot less invasive and worth a try. He says the numbers considered acceptable are around 100,000 platelets from the 5000 to 20,000 that Riley has been running. That is still low, below the normal range. Some people do get back to normal, about 30% treated. 20% of donors say no, but Riley had a couple good matches so not to be concerned. Tom does not want to have mediocre results. It would make decisions much harder. Good failure or good success numbers are much easier decisions.
Then there are the questions that are causing family issues. How safe and paranoid do we really need to be. The Doctor says we do not have to get rid of plants, but no gardening. If some one is sick have them use a different bathroom from Riley. Riley can go out, but not while its crowded. The Prednizone is what is crushing his immune system right now, so in three weeks he will be slowly weaned off it and will not be so at risk.
Can we fly on a plane come July and go to NY/DC? Yes,by then Riley should be fine to fly and in crowds, if this is successful. We will know in three months. Today we skipped a transfusion. Sounds positive to me. Will it be good enough come May? I hope so.
Meanwhile I will sit down with Riley and pick high school classes with him. I need to find out from his teachers which levels they are recommending for my college bound student. With some success with some modern medicine this boy will be on track again. Maybe no sports for a while, but he had grown out playing much contact sports anyway. I think his father might be sorry about football, but Trevor can still play.
I am off to the pharmacy. They did not have the prescription in stock so I am driving elsewhere. They said they would correct their inventories for the next three months and apologized for the inconvenience. Its irritating because we thought we had this covered a week ago when we discussed it with them. They just didn't pick up on the fact we would be back so often and order enough. They will now.
High school
The teacher came today. I think she will do a great job. Riley tried at first to be bossy. Interrupting sentences and her train of thought. She quickly figured him out. It took a while to sort the homework out. She made a list of assignments for him to tackle. She will be back next Tuesday.
I had Trevor stay in his room while she was here. But later in the evening he came out and we all watched a little TV as a treat. Trevor decided to stick a balloon string in his mouth and chew on it. He is kind of an oral boy. If it fits in his mouth he will put it there. I made him pop the balloon and throw it all away. Riley might have wanted to play with it later when it was covered in mouth germs from a vomit boy. It also gave me an excuse to toss a balloon. I have 4 lingering on the ceiling of my two story entry, that we can't reach.
Tom came home and I headed to the school. Today was the high school orientation for eighth graders. I am glad I went. There are papers that need to be turned in. Who knows, in six months Riley might be able to attend school again. I want to make sure that if he cant carry a full load of classes, he at least gets the ones he really needs for college.
The councilor recommends a resume or summary for Riley so the school has a name and face to go with all the accommodations they might need to make for him. No PE for as long as the picc line is in. A picc can last up to two years. Riley will have his in for at least a year. Even after successful treatment, they will be drawing blood and checking on him regularly.
At the end of the meeting, it hit me that I didn't even know if my baby would be alive come August, let alone attending high school with all these other children in the room. A parent from football came up to give me a hug. She had heard about Riley. I cried on her shoulder. All the dreams and ambitions of all these families, and I just count in days and weeks now.
Tom gave me a hug when I got home. I spoke to Riley about what I had heard at the meeting. Then Tom read my blog about how upset I was with Trevor getting sick. Tom was... not happy to put it delicately. He reminded me that I have two children. I know that. Trevor would help an old lady cross the street with her bags. Riley wouldn't see even see the old lady. My job is to keep both boys from being hit by a passing car.
I know Trevor didn't want to be sick or purposefully get sick. But if I erred, it was on the side of caution. We can't afford any mistakes. Trevor got it. He stayed in his room all day. He weighs as much as I do. If he had really wanted to rebel I couldn't stop him. He slept most of the day anyway, an indication he needed the rest. I don't allow TV when children are home sick. You miss school, you're sick, then you need to rest. TV is a treat. Riley didn't get any TV either. He stayed in his room as a precaution most of the day. Tom thinks that the TV rule is excessive.
Tom is a TV addict. We can't go on vacation with him anywhere that doesn't have a TV. My children can live without it for a day. We didn't even last the day anyway, by the time Tom got home from work we all were watching House. He was mad because I was more worried about Riley's health than Trevors feelings. How could I be mad at Trevor for getting sick? He couldn't help it. That was Tom's argument.
I went outside and cried some more. I realize Tom is as distressed as I am. I love my boys very much, both boys. He should not have doubted me. Trevor knows how serious this all is. I cannot help responding the way I did. Maybe people are right who tell me I should ship my sick children away, but I disagree. I would rather do what I did yesterday with keeping each boy in his room. Isolating everyone until the danger has passed, including myself. I will decontaminate Trevor's room today. By isolating him until he felt better that is the only room I have to stress over. I feel pretty secure that I did the best I could to contain the germ. If I had to do it over again I would probably feel the same way and have the same response.
I am glad the day is passed and behind us. Today is another hurdle. We are going to ask how good a match is the bone marrow donor they may have found. After 20 red cell transfusions the success of the graft falls. The most successful surgeries are done within 3 months of diagnosis. It might be better to go with the bone marrow than wait. The treatment puts Riley back in the hospital for another long stay. We wouldn't even know how successful the surgery was until 100 days after. That is the amount of time the doctors give for rejection.
Contact a total stranger, inconveinience himself, and ask if he is still willing and able to save a child's life that he doesn't even know. Please say yes. Then do we do it? Torture Riley to the edge of death?
I had Trevor stay in his room while she was here. But later in the evening he came out and we all watched a little TV as a treat. Trevor decided to stick a balloon string in his mouth and chew on it. He is kind of an oral boy. If it fits in his mouth he will put it there. I made him pop the balloon and throw it all away. Riley might have wanted to play with it later when it was covered in mouth germs from a vomit boy. It also gave me an excuse to toss a balloon. I have 4 lingering on the ceiling of my two story entry, that we can't reach.
Tom came home and I headed to the school. Today was the high school orientation for eighth graders. I am glad I went. There are papers that need to be turned in. Who knows, in six months Riley might be able to attend school again. I want to make sure that if he cant carry a full load of classes, he at least gets the ones he really needs for college.
The councilor recommends a resume or summary for Riley so the school has a name and face to go with all the accommodations they might need to make for him. No PE for as long as the picc line is in. A picc can last up to two years. Riley will have his in for at least a year. Even after successful treatment, they will be drawing blood and checking on him regularly.
At the end of the meeting, it hit me that I didn't even know if my baby would be alive come August, let alone attending high school with all these other children in the room. A parent from football came up to give me a hug. She had heard about Riley. I cried on her shoulder. All the dreams and ambitions of all these families, and I just count in days and weeks now.
Tom gave me a hug when I got home. I spoke to Riley about what I had heard at the meeting. Then Tom read my blog about how upset I was with Trevor getting sick. Tom was... not happy to put it delicately. He reminded me that I have two children. I know that. Trevor would help an old lady cross the street with her bags. Riley wouldn't see even see the old lady. My job is to keep both boys from being hit by a passing car.
I know Trevor didn't want to be sick or purposefully get sick. But if I erred, it was on the side of caution. We can't afford any mistakes. Trevor got it. He stayed in his room all day. He weighs as much as I do. If he had really wanted to rebel I couldn't stop him. He slept most of the day anyway, an indication he needed the rest. I don't allow TV when children are home sick. You miss school, you're sick, then you need to rest. TV is a treat. Riley didn't get any TV either. He stayed in his room as a precaution most of the day. Tom thinks that the TV rule is excessive.
Tom is a TV addict. We can't go on vacation with him anywhere that doesn't have a TV. My children can live without it for a day. We didn't even last the day anyway, by the time Tom got home from work we all were watching House. He was mad because I was more worried about Riley's health than Trevors feelings. How could I be mad at Trevor for getting sick? He couldn't help it. That was Tom's argument.
I went outside and cried some more. I realize Tom is as distressed as I am. I love my boys very much, both boys. He should not have doubted me. Trevor knows how serious this all is. I cannot help responding the way I did. Maybe people are right who tell me I should ship my sick children away, but I disagree. I would rather do what I did yesterday with keeping each boy in his room. Isolating everyone until the danger has passed, including myself. I will decontaminate Trevor's room today. By isolating him until he felt better that is the only room I have to stress over. I feel pretty secure that I did the best I could to contain the germ. If I had to do it over again I would probably feel the same way and have the same response.
I am glad the day is passed and behind us. Today is another hurdle. We are going to ask how good a match is the bone marrow donor they may have found. After 20 red cell transfusions the success of the graft falls. The most successful surgeries are done within 3 months of diagnosis. It might be better to go with the bone marrow than wait. The treatment puts Riley back in the hospital for another long stay. We wouldn't even know how successful the surgery was until 100 days after. That is the amount of time the doctors give for rejection.
Contact a total stranger, inconveinience himself, and ask if he is still willing and able to save a child's life that he doesn't even know. Please say yes. Then do we do it? Torture Riley to the edge of death?
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Anal children
Honestly if anyone can handle a disease like this its Riley. I told Riley Trevor was in quarantine and sick throwing up. I recommended Riley stay in his room until we decontaminate the house fully. He points at the air filter my sister bought for us. I mentally thank her. If Riley doesn't get sick, that machine is worth every penny.
Riley hasn't eaten breakfast. He found the frosted flakes yesterday and is looking forward to a big bowl. I tell him to check the milk first. I had just bought a new gallon yesterday and wanted to make sure he gets the fresh one. He goes down to the kitchen and the first thing he does is put on rubber gloves. He then grabs the wipes and says he is going to wipe light switches. The switches definately needed wiping. He eats his breakfast and then he teases me. Telling me how much he enjoys taking his pills, how they are the best breakfast food he knows. He eats them with yogurt. Once done he grimaces and says"nasty". but the pills are done. He grabs his computer and heads to his room. I even hear him use the bathroom, flush and wash his hands. He has quickly caught on to this new cleanliness.
I had wiped down his bathroom while he ate, so the room would be un contaminated. I am having Trevor use mine today. Trevor had to dump out his own bowl and rinse it himself. he went back to his room and shut the door. He realizes how serious his illness is. I bought a mask at the hardware store yesterday, a just in case purchase. I had not anticipated using it so soon. I will wear it when I go in to check on him. He probably needs a little love. I hope this teaches him to use soap and wash more thoroughly. I just want Riley to get through the next few days without getting this bug.
I am still tackling laundry. Every time the pile shinks, some one adds more. I need to change Riley's bedding, well Trevor's also and my own. Right there is an all day job. Better get started.
Riley hasn't eaten breakfast. He found the frosted flakes yesterday and is looking forward to a big bowl. I tell him to check the milk first. I had just bought a new gallon yesterday and wanted to make sure he gets the fresh one. He goes down to the kitchen and the first thing he does is put on rubber gloves. He then grabs the wipes and says he is going to wipe light switches. The switches definately needed wiping. He eats his breakfast and then he teases me. Telling me how much he enjoys taking his pills, how they are the best breakfast food he knows. He eats them with yogurt. Once done he grimaces and says"nasty". but the pills are done. He grabs his computer and heads to his room. I even hear him use the bathroom, flush and wash his hands. He has quickly caught on to this new cleanliness.
I had wiped down his bathroom while he ate, so the room would be un contaminated. I am having Trevor use mine today. Trevor had to dump out his own bowl and rinse it himself. he went back to his room and shut the door. He realizes how serious his illness is. I bought a mask at the hardware store yesterday, a just in case purchase. I had not anticipated using it so soon. I will wear it when I go in to check on him. He probably needs a little love. I hope this teaches him to use soap and wash more thoroughly. I just want Riley to get through the next few days without getting this bug.
I am still tackling laundry. Every time the pile shinks, some one adds more. I need to change Riley's bedding, well Trevor's also and my own. Right there is an all day job. Better get started.
Trevor's barfing
PTA was wonderful. Dealing with fun school activities. Seeing my friends, returning dishes. They did ask after Riley of course. That is always hard, but therapeutic also. I came home and cleaned up the kitchen and got the children ready for bed.
Trevor woke for school this morning. He said he didn't feel well. His stomach was upset. Just Monday he had said some one threw up at school. I can't help being furious at him. He did not wash his hands well enough. He did not stay far enough away from the sick ones. I give him the vomit bowl and say he is not to leave his room all day. He is on quarantine. He could kill his brother.
I grab Clorox wipes from the kitchen and start wiping surfaces. The banister on the stairs, I am wiping every day. The tops of the computer keyboards get wiped. The game controllers in the game room get a wipe. Anything that Trevor might have touched. I check on Riley, he says he feels fine. I will be taking his temperature all day. I have to cry again. It scares me so much that Trevor has a common bug.
I bring Trevor water and shut the door of his room behind me leaving. I go straight to the sink and wash my hands. I hear Trevor vomit. I go back into his room and give him a towel. I don't want to stay with him. He might give it to me, I can't afford to be sick. All I can think about is how he brought a bug into the house, the first week we are back. How dangerous that bug is to Riley. My heart feels tight. I don't have much sympathy for Trevor at the moment. I am too scared of the bug. That makes me cry more, not wanting to help Trevor. I am afraid to open his door.
Hopefully the teacher will bring me balance, when she comes. I hate this fear.
Trevor woke for school this morning. He said he didn't feel well. His stomach was upset. Just Monday he had said some one threw up at school. I can't help being furious at him. He did not wash his hands well enough. He did not stay far enough away from the sick ones. I give him the vomit bowl and say he is not to leave his room all day. He is on quarantine. He could kill his brother.
I grab Clorox wipes from the kitchen and start wiping surfaces. The banister on the stairs, I am wiping every day. The tops of the computer keyboards get wiped. The game controllers in the game room get a wipe. Anything that Trevor might have touched. I check on Riley, he says he feels fine. I will be taking his temperature all day. I have to cry again. It scares me so much that Trevor has a common bug.
I bring Trevor water and shut the door of his room behind me leaving. I go straight to the sink and wash my hands. I hear Trevor vomit. I go back into his room and give him a towel. I don't want to stay with him. He might give it to me, I can't afford to be sick. All I can think about is how he brought a bug into the house, the first week we are back. How dangerous that bug is to Riley. My heart feels tight. I don't have much sympathy for Trevor at the moment. I am too scared of the bug. That makes me cry more, not wanting to help Trevor. I am afraid to open his door.
Hopefully the teacher will bring me balance, when she comes. I hate this fear.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Outside activities
Tonight is PTA. I am so excited to have something to do other than dwell on my own personal issues. I showed up at school last night thinking it was Tuesday only to notice that none of the cars that should be in the parking lot were there. It dawned on me I had the wrong night.
Tom finally kicked Riley off his computer skype account and out of my girlfriend's kitchen. He said Riley could call back after 7:00 and some home work. Riley's best friend would be home and anticipating the call. The two boys play wizards 101 on line while talking to each other. It truling is amazing that they can do that from seperate cities.
Riley has chosen his wellness class to study. The topic is STDs. I am looking forward to skipping out to PTA before Tom gets into a discussion on the topic. I had been happy the school was going to have that "discussion" with Riley. Now it is back in our hands again, since Riley will be missing all this school.
Tom finally kicked Riley off his computer skype account and out of my girlfriend's kitchen. He said Riley could call back after 7:00 and some home work. Riley's best friend would be home and anticipating the call. The two boys play wizards 101 on line while talking to each other. It truling is amazing that they can do that from seperate cities.
Riley has chosen his wellness class to study. The topic is STDs. I am looking forward to skipping out to PTA before Tom gets into a discussion on the topic. I had been happy the school was going to have that "discussion" with Riley. Now it is back in our hands again, since Riley will be missing all this school.
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